


Glitch

by Nythtak



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A tonne of it, AU and will get more AU, Angst, Chara Redemption, Flowey Redemption, Hella dubious morality, I love you canon but the plot bunnies are calling, Mentions of Suicide, No idea if there will be pairings, Non-Binary Chara, Non-Binary Frisk, POV Second Person, Reader dies a lot, Reader gets around...platonically, Reader in non-binary, Reader is asexual, Reader is basically an OC, Reader is very messed up, Reader-centric, Selectively Mute Frisk, Sorry but they're all important? to plot and characterisation and thiiings, Temporary Character Death, Too many relationship tags, Violence, and is pretty chill about it, as well as highly psychopathic, but not in a "kill all the people!" way, dark humour, except kinda not - see previous tags, less of a Reader fic more I'm really into second-person right now, was not expecting that, you weirdo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-17 11:48:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 67,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5868163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nythtak/pseuds/Nythtak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You've been stuck in a time loop for decades now. It sucks. So you wander up a mountain and throw yourself in a sink hole, 'cause why not? You'll just end up right back at the start again.</p><p>Except you don't. </p><p>You meet a flower with a fake smile (and die, several times). You wake up on a bed of golden flowers each time. You're stuck in a new loop now and you'd like some answers. </p><p>Finding Chara is the first step. Getting them to the Determination Extraction Machine is the next (you trust the gloopy non-existing guy. You hope it's the right decision).</p><p>You just have to get past Sans and his dragon lasers. </p><p>No biggie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Suicide, mentions of murder and various deaths, nihilistic thoughts, a character who would score pretty high on the psychopathy scale (Reader is not a nice person...or are they?), violence (moderate)
> 
> Enjoy.

You peer over the edge of the pit and wonder if it’ll hurt when you hit the bottom. People are supposed to die from the shock of the fall first, right? Or does that only count for high buildings and bridges? You don’t know the depth of the wide hole in the earth before you, but since it’s pitch black with no bottom in sight you’re estimating it’s a rather long way down. More than enough to kill you on impact.

You blow out a huff of air, swaying back and forth on your feet. Your toes are perched right at the edge, wiggling over empty space. Looking down into the dark makes you waver a little with vertigo. It’s a long way to fall. Heights have never scared you, though. You loved to climb to the tops of trees when you were younger, never getting discouraged no matter how many times you fell. You got a broken arm, a couple of ribs, and plenty of bruises for your trouble, but you thought it was worth it. The view, the freedom; it was great.

A wry grin tugs at your mouth. You miss that. Being a kid, everything so uncomplicated. Climb a tree, go to school, hang out with friends. You haven’t done any of that in a while. The loops give you an infinite amount of time to waste, sure, but after a certain point it just become monotonous. Your family and friends are so predictable now, you can’t even view them as real people. That’s probably why it was so easy to kill them.

In this loop they’re alive. Probably wondering where you are, most likely. Growing panicked, calling the cops, organising a search; you’ve skipped town enough times to know how it goes. Usually you go to some place you’ve never visited before, another country if you can manage it. Or you hop in a car and just drive. It doesn’t matter where you end up, so long as it’s not the same old pattern.

It’s funny – you used to hate meeting new people and going to different places. You liked your little circle of friends and spent most of your time either in the woods near your home, or in your room reading. Now you can’t stand it. Anything familiar just annoys you at best, makes you homicidal at worse.

You feel like you’ve read every book, seen every film and TV show (even the shitty ones). You know the names of everyone in your town, know as much about them as you can get in the couple months the loops last for. None of them have made it past half a year, and you don’t generally stick around for that long nowadays.

Death isn’t so scary when you know you’ll just wake up again before it even has time to sink in. Sure, you were a bit nervous at first. So you picked a gun. It killed you quickly, painlessly. After that – after looping twenty, thirty times – you started to get more inventive. Creative. You don’t like it when you fail since you just lay about in agony for a while with people fussing over you, but it gives you something to do.

You snort faintly, shaking your head. How is this your life?

Rolling your shoulders you focus back on the pit. You’d think with the sun directly overhead you’d be able to see something. You scratch your cheek. It’s pretty weird. You like weird. Weird means something new, something different. You didn’t expect to find anything like that out here in the middle of nowhere.

Well, it’s not nowhere exactly. Mount Ebott is fairly well known by the surrounding towns as not being a place your average camper will venture. There’s no dangerous animals, as far as you know, but people have always been wary of it. An urban legend has built up that if you go the Mount Ebott you won’t come back, and the kids who’ve disappeared over the years only worsen this caution. People don’t like to come out here, so it’s mostly untouched. No camp-sites or cabins or anything like that. You don’t really like the quiet.

You pull your earphones out of your pocket and put them in your ears, turning on the music on your phone. It’s some rock band you’ve heard a hundred times before. You still like it though. The place is a whole lot less eerie with a drumbeat thrumming through your head.

You didn’t come here with the intention of dying. This is one of the loops where you just couldn’t keep up the act. It didn’t take long for your parents to realise something was up. They gently suggested going to a therapist when you wouldn’t talk to them, instead spending all your time sleeping.

It was just easier sometimes to go to sleep. To not think. It's the closest you can ever get to dying.

They wouldn’t let you, especially when you started missing school, so before they could go so far as to admit you to a psych ward you started walking. Eventually you ended up here, standing at the edge of a sink hole. You’re hungry and tired, and you don’t see the point in trekking all the way back to civilisation. May as well take a short cut.

With a faint sigh you turn around. There’s a line of trees a few feet away from you, the thick woods thinning drastically to allow for the gaping hole in the ground. A few thick vines run around the area and into the hole, nearly catching your boots as you move. You think you’d have liked to take some pictures of the place, back when photographs actually meant anything to you.

You raise your eyes to the sky as the beat raises in tempo. The sky is mostly covered with grey-tinged clouds, and there are spots of blue between them. You like that it isn’t perfect. It’s more real this way.

Your eyelids fall shut as you tip back and fall.

 

You wake up.

That isn’t a surprise, of course. What is unusual is that you’re not halfway up the tree in your back garden. Your mouth hangs open as you stare up at the hole in the ceiling – the rather distant hole. Light shines down from it but it barely illuminates the walls of the cavern, skirting away as if reluctant to get close, so you can’t really estimate how far up it is. You just know that there’s no chance you’ll be getting out that way.

Which wouldn’t be a problem if you’d died like you were supposed to. Jeez, you hadn’t messed that up since the Washing Machine Incident. You shudder at the memory.  
Sitting up slowly, you wince at your aching back. Not completely unscathed then. Still, remarkably more alive than you were expecting. You look down, expecting to see a pile of mattresses or something equally ridiculous.

Your eyebrow twitches. Flowers. You’re sitting on a bed of yellow flowers, most of the crushed beneath your body, and none of them looking capable of keeping you from shattering on impact.

Well. This makes sense.

With a huff you push yourself to your feet, ignoring the way your back and shoulders twinge with pain. You need to figure out where you are. A moment of panic has you frantically checking your body for your phone, and with a sigh of relief you find it sitting on the flower bed. You pat the slightly squished flower it was on with gratitude. Then you tuck your phone away safely. No harm shall come to your beloved cell whilst you still have the will to draw breath.

As far as spooky caverns go, it’s pretty nice. It isn’t damp like you’d expect, and aside from the random bed of flowers the stone floor is flat and easy to walk on. You appreciate it after trudging through the woods for several hours (or was it days? You weren’t really paying attention).

You shift, brushing the petals off your jeans. It’s kind of neat to be in a new place. Sure, there were plenty of areas in the world you’ve yet to explore, but for the past few loops you haven’t been up to doing much. An odd feeling swells up in you, making you stand a little straighter. You feel more awake than you have in a long time.

You start heading forwards out of the sunlight, where the hole narrows into a tunnel. Maybe there’s a huge cave system running underneath Mount Ebott. You aren’t sure if you’ll be able to find an exit, but it’s worth an explore. A quick glance at your phone reveals you don’t have any bars, so calling for help is a no go. You shrug. It’s not really your style anyway.

As your eyes adjust to the darkness you pick out stone columns lining the walls. The sight makes you blink in surprise. They look old but well maintained, hardly crumbling or damaged. Why would they be here though? If people once lived here you’d know about it, surely. You enjoy history and have read every book available within a few states of your town. You don’t remember it all, of course, but you’re sure you’d remember something like this.

Brow furrowed with confusion you keep going. You come to an archway with two columns on either side, some kind of emblem carved into the stone above. You trace it with your eyes, trying to place it and failing. A circle with wings spreading out from it and three triangles beneath, the middle one inverted, the design rough with age. Fantastical ideas of a lost kingdom come to mind and you snort. You were always a bit too imaginative according to your parents. Seems hundreds of loops haven’t quite stripped you of that aspect.

The next room has a splash of light in the centre from another hole in the ceiling. It’s otherwise pitch black; you can’t even see the walls. It reminds you a little of swimming in the ocean with unimaginable depths beneath you, where anything could be lurking. The thought puts a smile on your face. You somehow managed to get eaten by a shark in one loop. It wasn’t much fun at the time, but now you find it pretty funny. The odds of that happening were really low but somehow you did it. You really are quite unlucky.

You’re moving away from the odd patch of green beneath the light when a voice startles you.

“What are _you_ doing here?” they accuse, sounding both angry and confused.

You turn around and look down at the yellow flower which had suddenly sprouted from the ground. It takes a moment for you to process the glaring black eyes and frown on the flower’s face(?), and another for you to realise it’s what spoke. What. A flower just- what.

“Hey, don’t ignore me!” they say, indignant.

You blink. An apologetic grin spreads across your face automatically. “Sorry about that.” You’re saying sorry to a flower. How brilliantly surreal.

It’s their turn to look surprised. “Uh, whatever. You’re a human, right?” they ask unsurely.

“Last I checked,” you say. Maybe you hit your head on the way down. Or those flowers you fell on emitted a hallucinogenic. Either way this is interesting.

The flower’s frown abruptly switches to a jovial smile. “Hey there! I’m Flowey, Flowey the flower!” they say cheerily, and abrupt switch from previously irate tone. “Golly, you must be so confused.”

You shrug. “More curious than confused, to be honest.”

Flowey’s smile strains a bit. “Right. Well, you need someone to teach you how things work around here!”

Before you can as much as raise an eyebrow at the vaguely threatening statement something wrenches in your chest. A feeling of falling slams into you and you gasp, fingers clenching at the front of your sweater as you reel back. It’s not like pain, not really, but you feel deeply vulnerable for the first time in years, and that’s somehow worse than any wound.

Then you catch sight of the heart hovering just in front of your body. It’s about the size of your fist and coloured a smoky grey, oddly vibrant against the darkness. You raise a hesitant hand to it, not quite touching but close enough to feel the faint warmth it omits. You feel a pull to it, a need to protect, and possessiveness shudders through you. The feeling increases in intensity when you see the sharp way Flowey is watching it.

“This is your soul, the very culmination of your being.” Their smile turns cruel and mocking. “It’s weak, just like you! So it’s very easy for monsters like me to do…” White pellets appear in the air around the flower, spinning rapidly in place. You take a step back, the heart – your soul, what the actual fuck – matching the movement closely. “This!”

The pellets dart towards you and pierce through your heart. A cry of pain leaves your mouth as you hunch over, agony crackling through your chest. It’s unlike anything you’ve felt before. You’ve been hit by cars, crushed by metal beams, drowned to death, stabbed; none of these experiences match the sensation of your very soul being damaged.

With a grimace you force yourself upright, cupping your heart in a vain attempt to keep it safe. The once-smooth surface has been gouged by the pellets and its light falters. You feel weak, like you haven’t slept or eaten for days. You tilt to the side, your limbs heavy and vision faltering. It astounds you how delicate your soul is.

Flowey sneers. “You really are pathetic, huh? I’ll just take your soul instead since it’s so easy!”

Your eyes wide. Take your soul? That doesn’t sound healthy. “I-if it’s all the same to you, I’d r-rather you didn’t,” you say through gritted teeth, mouth stretched into a smile. It hurts to even talk, like there’s a vice clenched tight around your chest.

They give you an odd look before their face distorts further, grin filled with fanged teeth. “Idiot. Why are you smiling when I’m going to kill you?”

You can’t help but laugh. “I th-think you’ll find death do-doesn’t stick well with me.” Your smile widens. “S-sorry ‘bout that.”

Flowey glares and fires off another round of pellets. You don’t even have time to dodge before they tear through your hands and rip apart your soul. The last thing you see is the triumphant smirk the flower wears.

 

You wake up.

You take in a deep breath and blink slowly up at the distant hole in the ceiling. You’re lying once more on a bed of yellow flowers, body restored to full health. There’s a phantom ache in your chest but as you lay there it fades.

You snicker helplessly and swipe a hand down your face. “Well then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so here's my foray into Undertale fanfiction. I tried to stay away but that was a fruitless endeavour. 
> 
> If any characters are OOC pleeease tell me, writing Flowey has made me want to throw my hands up in defeat several times (though that's more in following chapters). I can't wait for the rest of the cast to show up. 
> 
> Reader does have an appearance and (kind of) a name, which will filter through in the coming chapters. Yeah I'm breaking the rules of Reader-fics, oh well. Second person is far more fun than I'd thought, let me know if I slip up. 
> 
> Nythtak out


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You die a lot. 
> 
> Flowey threatens you.
> 
> It's not very effective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): kind of pain idealization?, more mentions of suicide, mild violence

You frown as you try to recall the feeling of having your soul pulled from your body. At least, that’s what it seemed like. You’re not really sure how far you can trust the word of someone that tried to kill you (well, succeeded in killing you. Semantics), but it’s the only explanation you have so far for a floating heart which hurt you when damaged.

You want to see it again. The curiosity surging through you sharpens your mind and sends you knee bouncing rapidly. You haven’t moved from the bed of flowers, sitting on it cross-legged and staring intensely at the space in front of your chest. Waiting, _hoping,_ for something to happen. How are you even supposed to do this?

Your green sweater offers up no answers. It is a sweater - what do you expect?

Sighing, you re-cross your legs to stop them from going numb and lean back on the palms of your hands. It’s getting darker, what little light provided by the sun dimming by the minute. You wonder (not for the first time) why the loop didn’t start you back at you garden. Every loop has started off that way, never deviating from the set course, so why now?

Your best guess is that there’s something special about this place which interferes with the loops. It’s not like you even know how the loops themselves work. ‘Time-space shenanigans’ (insert wavy hand movement here) doesn’t really explain much.  

It doesn’t really matter that your starting point has changed, since you would’ve just come back here again. A talking flower is far more interesting than anything else right now. You’ve gone to the flower's room five more times since your first death-via-pellet, finding out that Flowey is male in one run, that he’s part of a species called monsters which were trapped down here by humans millennia ago, and that this place is called the Underground. Apt enough name, you guess. You wonder  _how_ exactly humans managed to do their trapping thing - if people had power like that you'd know about it, right? - and why they did it. 

When you try to get more information from Flowey, he gets annoyed and kills you. It’s a bit of a pain having to trek there over and over again, pretending you don’t know anything each time.

It’s mostly habit at this point; acting normal, like nothing is amiss. You suppose...you don’t really need to anymore.

With a shrug you push yourself to your feet. No point sticking around when you can barely see. You’ve been down here seven hours according to your phone, and your stomach keeps sending out hunger pangs whilst your throat feels itchy and dry. Looping will at least take care of that.

As usual, Flowey doesn’t show up until you step up to the green patch in the middle. You spin around before he can say anything and wave. “Hey there, Flowey.”

He stares at you in bewilderment.

“That’s a good look on you. Much better than murderous rage. Not there’s anything particularly _wrong_ with murderous rage, some people can really pull-”

“Y-you know about the resets?”

Your smile drops and you stare at the flower intently. He remembers what happens in the loops? You can only assume that’s what he’s referring to. You’ve never met anyone who could do that before – it’s always just been you. Alone.

(You tried telling people. You tried everything to make them believe, to make it finally _stop._

But nobody cared.)

Sitting down, you cross your legs and beam at Flowey. “I sure do!” You scratch the back of your neck. “Well, if you mean the loops. How do you know about them?” you ask casually.

He’s looking at you with wide eyes, the confusion apparent in his features. It’s interesting how much he can emote with such simplistic expressions. “Only…only Chara has the ability to reset, not just any random human!” he exclaims. “They must’ve done something. Made is so you remember as- as part of a game. Yeah,” he laughs bitterly. “Sounds like them.”

“Who’s Chara?” you question, leaning towards Flowey. You should’ve done this a while back, but you hadn’t even considered the possibility that he might remember. A few decades ago you would’ve been over the moon at the thought. Curiosity will have to do for now.

“Why should I tell you anything?” His mouth widens into a smile filled with jagged teeth. Like it always does, eventually. “I’ll just take your soul and finally get out of this place! I-I’ll put an end to it!”

“Then why haven’t you taken my soul before now?” You chuckle. “You haven’t had much problem killing me.”

His petals droop slightly as he turns away, mouth turning down angrily. “Shut up.”

“I just keep dying and waking up and dying and waking up and dying and waking up- give me a bit of variation here!” You throw your arms out with an exaggerated grin. He gets more frustrated with every word out of your mouth. “This is a lovely cave, really, but I can only take so much of the same environment. You’re really cramping my style here, man. I need to spread my wings, leave the nest, see-”

A vine wrapping around your neck cuts you off. You choke, hands scrabbling instinctively at it. Flowey looms over you with a snarl. “Are you gonna shut up now, or should I just snap your neck?” You mime zipping your lips closed, locking it and throwing away the key. Something like exasperation flashes across his face. “Fine.”

You gasp for air when the vine loosens, heaving in grateful lungs of it. You hadn’t expected him to do that – if anything you’d been anticipating more of those bullets being shot your way. This sure spices things up.

Through watering eyes you see Flowey slump. “I can’t take your soul,” he admits quietly. “Every time it just…disappears. Back to the start of a reset, probably. Chara’s soul never sticks around either when things don’t go their way. But you aren’t controlling it, are you?”

“Nope,” you answer, popping the ‘p’. “I’ve been looping – or resetting, I guess – for years and I’ve never had any control over it. Only now I keep going back to this place instead. Any idea why, oh murderer mine?”

He frowns at you. “You could reset _before_ you came to the Underground? That’s not possible.”

“Before today I thought talking flowers weren’t possible.” You grin broadly. “I guess it’s just a day of discovery, huh?”

“Right, sure is,” he agrees flatly.

“Sooooo think you could muster the benevolence to let me progress a little?” you ask politely, hooking your thumb over your shoulder to the doorway you’d yet to manage to pass through.

The sneer makes a return. “Why would I do that? Now that I know you remember, killing you is much more _fun!”_

You roll your eyes and flop onto your back. You probably have grass stains on your jeans now, you lament idly. Can green clothes get grass stains? You like this sweater. It's poorly made, has bits of thread poking out in places, and one sleeve is longer than the other, but you made it yourself back before...everything. Years of practice meant you could make much better ones these days, but you preferred this sweater.  

“Sure thing,” you state dully. At least this will get rid of the hunger gnawing at your stomach. You’ve never starved to death before, though you have died from dehydration. That was pretty unpleasant. No more wandering around abandoned houses, falling through rotten floorboards, breaking your legs and being unable to move or call for help, for you. Nowadays you keep a switchblade in your pocket for occasions such as that, just in case. You’ve gotten pretty good at finding the carotid artery on your first few tries.

Flowey’s disgruntled face hovers above yours, interrupting your view of the distant hole in the ceiling. Are there many of them in the Underground? If so, maybe getting out will be easier than you assumed. You vaguely remember seeing a sign post which warned of sink holes in the area when you climbed the mountain. Those people who went missing over the years might’ve fallen down here, maybe gotten killed by murderous flowers. Mystery solved, have a cookie.

“What are you _doing?”_

“Craving cookies,” you answer, a frown forming on your lips as your stomach grumbles.

There’s a tugging sensation and your heart skips a beat. Your soul swirls into existence a few centimetres above your chest, giving off faint wisps of grey which hover around the cartoon-style heart. As always, your eyes fixate on it with fascination. “Why does it look like that?” you ask Flowey, barely glancing in his direction before you’re drawn back to the sight of your soul. “Does every soul look this way? How’s it possible to manifest a soul?”

He considers you for a long moment as you look at him eagerly. “Does death really…not bother you?”

You shrug. “Not really? I mean, I’ve died _a lot_ of times. The soul trick hurts more than I’m used to, but I’m good at adapting to pain. It even feels kind of nice sometimes, y’know?” At his disturbed look you add, “I don’t feel things all the much now. Pain is…reliable.” You shift your hand through the smoky wisps, fingers almost touching your soul, but not quite. You can’t feel anything except the faint heat the soul gives off.

There’s a heavy sigh. “I don’t know why it looks like that.” He indicates your soul with one of his leaves. “It just does. Not every monster can create a physical representation of a soul, and even when they do it’s…a part of them. Not separate like humans’ are.”

“Why’ve I never seen it before?” you ask, pleasantly surprised he’s actually answering your questions. Maybe he’s as bored with the threaten-kill-repeat routine as you are.

He scoffs. “Magic, of course. You humans barely have any of it on the surface, but the underground is flooded with the stuff. That’s why I’m able to draw your soul out. You’re a lot easier to hurt this way.”

You tilt your head at the vague explanation, but before you can open your mouth he starts up again, glowering down at you. “Why would Chara keep bringing you back? And why now? What changed?”

“No idea. I’ve never met this Chara person. Why don’t you ask them?”

Flowey shudders before smiling sardonically. “Yeah, I’ll just go right up to them and ask! There’s no way _that_ wouldn’t end well!”

“What’s the worst they would do?” You cautiously brush the side of the heart, jolting at the odd sensation of touching your soul. A rush of heat flashes through you and you shiver. Vulnerable. That’s how it makes you feel. It would bother you if you weren’t so unused to it. Anything new is good in your books. “Hurt you? Kill you? It’s not like it’s permanent.”

“You’re a bit of a freak, aren’t you?” he says, sounding perturbed.

You laugh, grinning up at Flowey. “Sure am!” You’re relatively certain you lost whatever sanity you had decades ago. You think that should bother you. It doesn’t. You’re too tired to be bothered by much these days.

He rolls his eyes and starts to sink into the ground. “Go ahead then; see if you have better luck than me in getting answers out of Chara.” He smiles sharply at you. “I’ll see you soon!”  

“Bye!” You give a cheery wave before he disappears from sight. That went well. You hop up onto your feet and make for the exit, the heart fading rapidly as you do so. You guess it must be dependent on monsters bringing it out? That’s kind of annoying. You’d like to be able to pull it out yourself and figure it out, gain a better understanding of how it works.

But, priorities. The first thing on your to-do list is finding Chara. If the Underground is big enough to have a name then it might not be all that easy. You wonder if they’re a human – from what Flowey said it sounded like they were. Maybe they’re one of the missing kids. Though, if they’ve been looping like you do you can’t exactly call them a kid, can you? And they’re actually able to _control_ it.

You smile flatly; that’s a handy ability to have.

You pause in the archway to the next room. There’s another set of pillars on either side of the exit, with the same marking carved above it. The walls are smoother than the rough rock of previous rooms. There’s no natural light here; instead the glow of purple stones disrupt the dark, dotted along the ceiling of the cave.

“Woah,” you breathe, impressed. Was there a whole civilisation of monsters like Flowey down here, or something? You’re very glad you didn’t die on impact, and hope that this isn’t all some coma dream, or that you’ve just gone insane and started hallucinating this place.

(For a long time you thought that was what the loops were. Then you thought you were dead and this was your Hell. You didn’t cope well with that thought.

You got over it.)

You take an exaggerated step forward into the unknown. “No time like the present,” you say with a grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell dialogue isn't my forte? *frets about OOCness*
> 
> So, more on just how messed up Reader is (they will get a name eventually). I think I'm incapable of writing sane characters. Oh well. 
> 
> Maybe one day they will actually leave the Ruins.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Toriel.
> 
> It...doesn't go so well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I changed the name from Ripple Effect to Glitch because it fits better. That's a thing that happened.

It’s a good job you like the colour purple, because this place is completely awash with it. You’re unsure if the walls and bricked footpath are actually coloured that way, or if it’s caused by the crystals overhead. You twist your hand in front of your face and smile at the strange shade it’s turned. Your sweater isn’t much better, barely holding onto its green, whilst your jeans are fully purple. It’s a cool effect.

The Underground doesn’t look abandoned, that’s for sure. There’s no dust or thick cobwebs, or anything that you might expect to see in a place full of crumbling pillars and cracked walls. Maybe there’s someone cleaning it up? Or it could just be that magic or whatever helps keep the place tidy. What do you know - you only found out magic was even a thing a few minutes ago.

(You’d suspected, though. Loops aren’t exactly natural now are they? But hell, how were you supposed to do any research on them or find an answer in a world that dismissed magic, that would call you crazy – _had_ called you crazy – if you even tried)

You jog up a staircase and into another room (is this place just a long series of interconnected rooms?).  It’s small, only a few metres across with a door opposite you, a lever on the wall beside it, and several spaced out tiles on the floor to the right. You peer at them curiously as you walk over to the door, first lightly pushing it then shoving with all your strength. It doesn’t budge.

With a huff you take a step back, your face flushed. Getting stuck here isn’t exactly ideal. If you had a crow bar or _something_ you’d try wrenching open the doors that way, but the room is bare. You’d assume the door was locked if not for the lack of key hole, and if it was a magic lock then you were screwed either way.

You pause and look over at the stone tiles, then to the lever. Back to the tiles. A grin breaks across your face. _“Nooooo,”_ you say, as incredulous as you are delighted. You bounce over to the tiles and step on them all before pulling the lever.

Nothing happens. You pout. Not one to give up right away you try pressing only some of the tiles, attempting a few different combinations until, upon tugging the lever, there’s a click. With the heavy sound of stone scraping against stone the door slides open. You stare at it for a moment before breaking into laughter.

A puzzle for opening doors? This is _brilliant._ Puts some holes in your ‘not coma-dream or hallucination’ theory but who cares? First a talking flower, then your own soul shows up for the party, and now you’re substituting good old door knobs for stomping on tiles! You gasp for breath through your snickering. Today just keeps getting better and better!

You’re just stepping into the next area when you come face to face (well, chest thanks to their height) with a very surprised monster. You gawk at them. They’re covered in soft-looking white fur, and remind you of a goat with their floppy ears, muzzle and small horns. The fact that they’re standing perfectly upright – even _elegantly_ – rather gives the game away on their non-animal nature. The purple dress helps, too. And hey, is that the same symbol as the one you keep seeing above doorways?

When you look at their red eyes again they seem to be in as much shock as you are, if you’re any good at reading bipedal goats’ expressions. Then wariness flashes across their face and you’re suddenly very aware of the fangs in their mouth.

“Aren’t goats herbivores?” you blurt out. At least the goat monster doesn’t look quite as ready to kick your ass, instead seeming kind of bewildered. You tend to have that effect.

“I-I, um, I beg your pardon?” they say. You think they might be a she, going by the style of dress and the sound of their voice. You shrug inwardly. If you’re wrong you can always correct yourself later.

“Never mind.” You smile sheepishly. “I don’t suppose you know a Chara?”

Pain, then hostility twists her gentle features into a glare. Her hands come up and flames gather in her palms as she takes up a defensive stance. “How do you- no, it does not matter. What business does a human have in the Underground?”

You take a step back as heat from the conjured fire washes over you, eyebrows raised. “I fell down a hole – which, really, someone should see about patching up. Talk about a safety hazard, huh? Business-wise I’m looking for Chara. It’s kiiiind of important so if you can’t help me I’ll just be on my way-”

You start to move forwards, hoping to edge around the angry goat lady, when a stream of fire cuts you off. You jump back and wince, your right hand having been caught in the flames. The skin is an angry red and beside the spike of pain you can barely feel it anymore. You quickly pat down the singed ends of your sleeve to stop the fire spreading.

Oh, jeez. You hate getting injured – it’s always so annoying to deal with, wasting weeks or months in hospital as you slowly heal. And you doubt there’s many hospitals down here.

You give goat lady an irritated look. “Did you _have_ to do that? I like that hand. It’s my favourite hand. I write with it and everything.” Well, you can actually write with both thanks to the power of boredom, but you did prefer your right. Now it was all smoulder-y. God damn it goat lady.

“You will not step any further into the Underground,” she says firmly. There’s a familiar tugging sensation and your soul makes an appearance. You ache to just stare at it but, with visible effort, you keep your eyes on the monster. Her expression only seems to harshen when she sees your soul. “Humans have caused monsters enough pain. I will not allow any more.”

You consider your options, glancing at your ruined hand. You can’t even twitch the fingers. You brace yourself and move forwards.

The fire in her hands turns white in its intensity, and you barely have time to sigh resignedly before you’re engulfed. Burning to death is far from your preferred way to die, but at least this fire is so hot you die quickly. Silver linings, and all that.

 

You wake up.

“That went well,” you mutter as you sit up, once again crushing golden flowers beneath your body. You really should make it up to them somehow. Grab them a bag of fertiliser or something like that.  

“It sure did!”

You look over and spot Flowey a few feet away, saccharine smile fixed in place. “You were watching?” you ask, cocking an eyebrow as you automatically grab your cell from the ground and put it in your pocket. You’ve done it enough times you don’t even need to look.

“Yup!” he confirms, before giggling. “Boy, I didn’t think Toriel would hurt you like that. She’s one of the nicest monsters down here, after all. Just goes to show how annoying you are!”

“I’m not _that_ bad,” you grumble, crossing your arms and pouting at the flower. You’re kind of put out that you barely made any progress before being sent back here, but the giddy feeling in your chest still hasn’t dampened.

You haven’t had this much fun is such a long time. For the past few dozen loops you’ve just closed your eyes and tried to forget it all existed, that _you_ existed. Now, though. Now you actually want to be awake.

“What’re you grinning about?” Flowey asks, aggravated. Then he smirks. “Oh, never mind, you’ve always got that dumb look on your face. I guess it’s just stuck that way.”

You gasp and draw back, expression devastated. “I’m hurt! How could you say such a thing?! That gets me, right here.” You tap the place above your heart.

He looks reluctantly amused. “You really are an idiot.”

“So I’ve heard.” You push yourself to your feet, shaking out your hands until the unpleasant tingling sensation fades. “Time for round two.”

“Good luck,” Flowey says sarcastically. “I’m sure it’ll go just as well as the first time!”

You give him a thumbs up. “Thanks for all your support. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He shifts uncomfortably, stem bending away as his leaves shuffle. “Whatever. Try not to mess it up again. Avoid mentioning Chara and don’t act like such a freak.”

You blink in surprise. Was he actually attempting to help you? Before you can say anything he hurriedly sinks into the ground. “I’ll try not to disappoint,” you say amusedly to the air. You wonder if he can hear you or if he’s gone off somewhere else, moving through the dirt. That’s a cool ability.

Arms folded behind your head, you start off once more down the path. You’re not as hungry as you were before you died, which is a plus. Unfortunately your tongue is as dry as a desert, a detail you’d ignored in favour of your grumbling stomach. You pull a face. Bringing along a bottle of water hadn’t exactly been high on your priorities when you’d wandered out here. The benefits of hindsight, huh?

When you spot the tile puzzle you mood improves, a grin pulling at your lips as you dart over to it. You pause beside the lever and wonder if Toriel will be on the other side again, ready to fry you. But it’s much earlier in the day now since you didn’t spend so long sitting around on the flower bed or talking with Flowey, so it should be clear.

Either way, when you pull the lever and the door opens, you cautiously poke your head through. This room is more of a long corridor veering to the right, a faint pathway trailing through the centre. Vines sprout from cracks in the bricked walls, making you wonder how they survive down here in the dark. Do they manage with just the crystals somehow, or could they be magical?

Still, no goat ladies in sight. Mission is good to go.  

There’s a bridge crossing a stream of water running from one grate to another across the corridor. You brighten and hurry over, crouching beside it. You consider for a moment whether the water might be dirty or otherwise bad for you, before shrugging. It’s not like dying is that big a deal. If you get sick, well, there’s at least two people down here who’ve killed you before, and you still have the switchblade in your pocket. Having options is nice.

The water tastes…odd. Not _bad_ odd, just different from what you’re used to. Like the difference between tap water and the filtered stuff. You keep drinking until you’re no longer thirsty, a satisfied look crossing your face. Well, that’s one issue taken care of.

You’ve just crossed the small wooden bridge when a monster darts in front of you. It looks a lot like a frog, albeit one the size of a large dog. You stumble back a step in surprise at its sudden appearance. It’s practically vibrating in place, shifting around on webbed feet and tearing glances over its shoulder when it isn’t staring unerringly at you.

“Uh-” you start, when your soul jolts from your body. If possible, the monster looks even more uneasy. White flies appear in the air around it, buzzing loudly. They remind you of the bullets Flowey shot at you, and it isn’t much of an intellectual leap to guess this monster isn’t much friendlier than the ones you’ve met previously.

Your shoulders slump. Why do monsters always want to attack you? Do you just have that kind of face?

You let out a yelp when the swarm of flies careen towards you, throwing yourself out of the way just in time. You stumble to a stop when you find yourself moving further than you intended – it’s like your body is suddenly a lot lighter and easier to move. Glancing at your soul, you assume it’s some side effect of having it out in the open. Nice that your soul is more than just a major weak spot.

When the flies go a few metres away they dissolve. You guess that they’re made from magic and, as you’ve quickly discovered, magic hurts.

“Can we-” You duck under the next volley. You nearly trip over your own feet, and you grit your teeth. This newfound lightness will take some getting used to.  “-talk-” Hasty sidestep that turns into a half-spin. “-about this?!”

You don’t know if the monster can actually understand you since it hasn’t said anything, but it’s worth a try.

The monster isn’t interested.

It’s a bit closer to you now - you don’t have enough time to move out of the way of the oncoming swarm. You frantically jump back only to step on air. Your eyes go wide as you tip backwards, the rush of water filling your ears. Something hits your head and there’s a sharp _crack!_

You wake up.

You shoot upright, rubbing the back of your head with a grimace. You must’ve fallen in the stream and whacked your head against the edge. Cheeks turning red, you smile ruefully. Not your best moment.

“That was embarrassing. I’m embarrassed for you.”

You look up from under your fringe to see Flowey once again in front of you. “Hey there, Flowey. What’ve you been up to?”

“Questioning what I ever did to deserve this.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. I had Toriel kill Reader (that "Reader dies a lot" tag is deserved darn it). Figure I should explain a bit in case it wasn't obvious. Reader isn't a child and is acting pretty suspicious, and the last time Toriel saw an adult human would've been during the war, so not happy memories. She gives them a chance to back down and they don't. In addition to that is their soul (which will be explained next chapter). 
> 
> I added the "soul makes you lighter" mechanic because I want to write some fun fight scenes. No idea how they'll go down, but hey I'll give it my best shot.
> 
> I don't know if I'll ever describe Reader's appearance fully in the story, so here it is for anyone interested: short dark hair (likely black) which is pretty messy, kind of wavy/curly. Grey eyes with thick eyelashes. Dimples. Slight buckteeth. A small scar on the bridge of their nose from one of the tree-fall incidents. I never really decided on skin colour, though I suppose I imagine it to be a darker shade, with them being either Hispanic or Korean (yes I know the two are very different, this is what I mean by "I never really decided"). 
> 
> One last thing - I really don't know about a name. I have a few ideas (Avery, Reese, Mal) but if you have any suggestions that'd be great. Oh, and it won't be their original name, but a name they give themselves. 
> 
> Hope you like this chapter, I'd love to hear what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get a bit further in your adventure. Yay you.
> 
> Sadly, nothing is ever that easy.

“I mean really, a froggit? A _froggit?_ I can understand Toriel, but you somehow got taken down by one of the weakest monsters out there! And it didn’t even really kill you – you managed that all by yourself! Just how stupid are you?!”

You watch Flowey rant with your eyebrows raised. It’s quite fun to watch as he sways back and forth in vexation, leaves flinging around to punctuate his words.

“Why didn’t you fight back? In this world it’s kill or be killed! I thought you would’ve gotten that after _dying_ so many times!”

“I’m not a fan of killing,” you say with a shrug.

He stares at you. “Not a…not a _fan of killing._ What’s that supposed to mean?! If you don’t fight you’ll just die and die and die – there’s no choice about it!”

You scratch your cheek. “I’ll dodge better next time.”

“That’s not the point!” he yells. He surges towards you and your soul is tugged out. Jabbing a leaf at it, he says, “You’ve killed before, otherwise your LV wouldn’t be so high. So why do you have such a problem with killing down here?” His face scrunches up distastefully. “Oh, let me guess; you _regret_ it.”

You give a short laugh. “Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not a good person. I don’t have strong enough morals to hold me back, or anything like that. So yeah, I killed people.” Your family, your friends – you’d killed them all at some point or another over the loops. All for the sake of something new to do.

Leaning towards Flowey, you continue with a lopsided grin, “And you know what I learned? _It doesn’t help._ It doesn’t fix things or make everything better. All it does is…make things quiet. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve had more than enough silence to last me a life time.”

He’s silent for a few moments, face blank for once. “I…it doesn’t matter,” he says softly, adding more firmly, “You’re not gonna get through the Underground without hurting _someone._ That’s just the way it is.”

“No can do.” You shake your head.

He grits his teeth. “Fine. Fine! Get yourself killed as much as you want, I don’t care! Just try to make it a little further than two rooms, okay? Think you can handle that?”

You suck in a breath. “Oooh, I don’t know. You might be setting the bar a bit high.”

He looks at you darkly. “You’re infuriating.”

“I’m adorable,” you deadpan.

He snorts. You give a pleased smile before standing up. “Well, I’d best be going if I want to avoid Toriel.”

Frowning uncertainly, he hesitates. “I’ll come with you.” At your surprised expression he frowns, opening his mouth several times before finally saying, “The last few runs were…bad. I don’t really want- I mean, you shouldn’t-” Growling in exasperation he glares up at you. “Stop giving me that look. I’d just be following you anyway; I might as well get a lift.”

“That’s fine with me.” You grin.

“Stop that,” he grumbles as he starts to remove his roots from the ground. You crouch down next to him when he orders to you, amusement all but radiating from you. He dutifully ignores that.

“Chara should be near the exit to the Ruins, if they haven’t already left,” he says as he settles himself on your shoulder, vines twisting around your upper arm and neck. It’s a bit uncomfortable and makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. On the bright side, he makes a great parrot to your pirate captain!

You tell him so. He stares at you disdainfully. “ _Anyway,_ this is the first time in a while that they’ve stayed long enough for you to show up. Usually they just get fed up trying to get past Sans and end up resetting, so we need to hurry.”

You salute. “Got it, boss.” You take off at a manageable jog ( _thank you,_ years of cross country) through the Ruins, snickering at the way Flowey yelps and starts shrieking insults at you.

As you move through the long room you met your demise in last time, you notice the piles of dust showing up every now and again.

When you ask Flowey about it he shifts uncomfortably. “Chara…isn’t very happy about being trapped here. They don’t always kill every monster. Sometimes they even…” he shakes his head. “I haven’t seen them this angry in a long time.”   

“Why are they angry?” you ask, carefully crossing the bridge and keeping an eye out for hostile froggits. There don’t seem to be any around.

“Sans isn’t following script anymore. He’s supposed to wait until the Judgement Hall to do anything,” Flowey says, sounding almost petulant. “But now he’s fighting Chara the second they go outside the Ruins! I think…I think he _remembers.”_ You glance up at his expression of incredulity as you near the end of the corridor, stepping around more dust. “Not just dumb theories and recordings of timelines – he actually _knows_ what Chara did. That’s never happened before.”

“What Chara did?” you repeat.

Flowey looks down at you. “Right, you wouldn’t know, seeing as you somehow manage to keep getting yourself killed,” he says snidely. You smile at him. He must be getting used to you since it barely seems to irritate him. “Chara wants to destroy everything, over and over and over again. They usually succeed, too. Up until the lazy trashbag stopped being so lazy, anyway.”

Destroy everything? You raise an eyebrow. “They’re pretty ambitious, huh?”

He gives a choked laugh. “That’s one way to look at it.”

The hallway curves to the right, and there’s piles of red leaves across from you. To your left is an archway. You start towards it when Flowey tugs roughly on your hair in the opposite direction. “It’s this way, idiot.”

You pull the short strands of your hair out of the grip of his vines. “I respond just as well to verbal cues, y’know.”

“My way is much more fun,” he jeers.

“Whatever floats your boat.” You shrug, nearly toppling Flowey from your shoulder. His vines tighten around your neck and arm, and he sends you a scornful glare. He does, however, begrudgingly tell you where to go in words as he guides you through the Ruins. _Gooood_ tour guide.

“So I’m assuming not many pe- monsters remember the resets?” you say to fill the silence, glancing at Flowey. He looks unnerved, gaze flickering around the corridor ahead and occasionally behind you. At your voice he seems to relax a little.

“Only Chara and I did in the beginning – well, and Frisk,” he amends. “Since I used to be able to reset I always remembered.” He frowns. “That’s why I don’t get how Sans and you can. You used to reset on the surface, right?” You nod. “And you remembered every time?”

You smile brightly and tap the side of your head. “Yep! It’s all up here.” You chuckle. “Wow, I wonder what age I am if you counted all the time spent in the loops? I’d be so _old.”_

He peers at you. “How old _are_ you? You’re not a kid like Chara or Frisk.”

“I’m-” You stop, grin faltering. You don’t…actually remember your biological age. It hasn’t really been something you thought about after your first few loops. You were still in high school so you were probably under twenty, and you think you were in the later stages – when was the last time you went to school anyway? – so you were over sixteen. Glancing down at your body, you think you look over that age at least.

“Eighteen,” you say decisively, going for a happy medium. “I’m eighteen. So I’m like a baby adult; utterly unprepared for the world.”

He snorts. “You were utterly unprepared for the Underground, anyway. Remind me, just how many times have you died so far?” he asks mockingly.

You count it up in your head. “Welll you killed me…six times, I think. Then Toriel toasted me, and that froggit got me last time. So eight times.”

“Pathetic.” He shakes his head, petals brushing against your ear. “Frisk was nowhere near as bad as you, and Chara…Chara never has much problem with monsters. Until now, at least.”

The hallway opens up into a room with a row of spikes blocking the exit. You beam at the sight of another puzzle, rushing over to it despite Flowey’s protests. There’s three tiles on the floor, but when you step on them all nothing happens. You even try a different patterns like the last one. No discernible effect.

Flowey huffs, “I can just tell you-”

“Nope!” you say firmly, covering his mouth with your hand. It’s a bit weird considering he doesn’t have lips, but it seems to do the trick of shutting him up. His eyes are rather wide as you lean towards him with a dark look in your grey eyes. “You do not spoil puzzles. It is not a thing you do. Respect that.”

He wrenches himself back. “Freak,” he spits with half as much malice as when he’d been murdering you. Still, he keeps quiet, so you’re happy.

You skip over to the first tile and consider the large rock sitting next to it. There’s one beside each tile, actually. Bit simple, but you like it all the same. You shove the first two rocks onto the plates with no problem. However the last takes issue with your pushiness.

“Woah there, pardner!” it exclaims. “Who said you could push me around?”

You stare wide-eyed at the talking rock. You take a moment to internally squeal over how amazing the Underground is, before you say calmly, “Terribly sorry about that. Would you mind moving over to that tile?”

“Oh, _now_ you’re askin’ me to move over!” says the sassy rock.

“For the love of-”

“Sorry, again, uh,” you cut Flowey off, giving the rock a placating smile as you rub the back of your neck. “I didn’t know you were alive. The other ones weren’t, so…” You duck your head. “I’d be very grateful if you moved onto the tile, just until I cross the spikes.”

There’s a long pause before the rock says, “Okay, just for you, pumpkin.” It starts its slow journey to the tile, scraping along the floor.

You beam at Flowey, stars in your eyes, and whisper-yell, _“A talking rock just called me pumpkin!”_

Flowey looks at you blankly for several long moments. He presses a leaf to his face. “This is karma, isn’t it. I’m being punished for all the times I killed everyone. Sans probably sent you to avenge his brother, or something dumb like that. Ha ha, jokes on him – soon _he’ll_ have to deal with you.”

You’re about to reply, when the spikes retract into the ground with a loud _shnickt!_

“Thanks!” You wave to the rock as you hurry over the spikes, not too keen on possible getting caught by them. Being impaled by sharp objects _hurts,_ and you’re willing to bet that metal spikes would be even worse than Lego.

It’s only when you’re over them that you realise, with a bit of a running start, you could probably have jumped over them. Oh well. This way is more fun.

You keep heading down more long hallways which twist and turn, Flowey’s directions keeping you from wandering off. You’re tempted to do so anyway, especially when you spot what looks like another puzzle, but you resolutely stay on course. Finding Chara and getting some answers is what’s important right now. You can always come back after, right?

“What happens after I die? You said the resets were pretty bad,” you prompt Flowey as you trudge through piles of leaves, following the strict path he laid out so you don’t fall through the floor (you make a mental note to visit later without your grumpy companion). It’s odd to think that everything doesn’t just loop when you die, instead continuing on. You feel delightfully irrelevant.

“Your soul disappears. Chara kills everything,” he states. “Nothing exciting.”

“That all?” You raise an eyebrow at the suddenly concise monster.

He’s staring straight ahead, leaves shaking slightly. “I…Chara- Chara’s been more-” he winces “-creative than usual. It’s all Sans’ fault!” he snarls. “If he’d just let Chara do what they _want,_ then they’d leave- they wouldn’t-!” Cutting himself off with a huff, he glares at you. “What do you care? You’ll find out soon enough what they’re like.”

You study him for a few seconds, watching as he grows nervous under your gaze. Then you smile at him reassuringly. “I like you, so I won’t let Chara hurt you, okay?”

He gapes at you. “Wh-what?! You can’t just go and- go and make promises like that!” he blusters.

“Why not?”

“Be-because!” He refuses to meet your eyes, twisting away. “It’s not like you’d be able to do anything. You’re too weak.”

You shrug. “We’ll see. It wouldn’t hurt to believe in me a little, would it?”

You walk along in silence for several minutes before you hear a soft, “Idiot.” You grin.  

Abruptly, you’re brought to a halt when the world shudders. Your movements slow, the air weighing down on your limbs so that you can hardly move. A buzzing fills your ears, growing higher in pitch with each moment that passes.

You stare with wide eyes as the path ahead starts to dissolve beneath the encroaching darkness. It swallows up everything, leaving only inky blackness in its wake as it races towards the two of you.

“Already?” Flowey says dully.

You turn to him with a half-formed question on your lips. “What-” 

 

You wake u-

You wake-

You wa-

You-

 

Y _o_ u  **w** _a_ k **e**   u _p_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Much. Dialogue. As always, let me know if Flowey seems too OOC (some of it is expected since this is pretty much and AU now, but I'd rather stick to canon with characterisation).
> 
> It was at this point that I realised I have very little control over Reader's actions. Seriously, I'm trying for a more sombre mood and they're like NOPE SASSY ROCK. 
> 
> The name thing is still up for debate, to anyone with ideas/preferences for the ones I've mentioned (I think it was Avery, Reese, or Mal?). 
> 
> Thanks for the kudos! I love reading comments too, and I'll try to reply as soon as I can. It really encourages me to keep writing (even if I wasn't currently completely swallowed up by this story. Christ, I've plotted out the ENDING already).
> 
> Next chapter we actual get some more plot that "Reader falls into Underground". Soon as I've finished the chapter after I'll post it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're outside of time and space. It's certainly different.
> 
> How about a little talk with a man who doesn't exist?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: more suicidal stuff, self-mutilation, Reader is not a nice person (but at least they finally get a name)

For a moment you think your eyes are closed. But when you bring your hands up in front of your face you can see them, even if all colour has drained from your skin and clothes, removing even shadows and blemishes. Looking down at your body you see that it’s in stark black and white, any shades in-between erased. 

Everything else – anything not you – is a pure, endless black.

Your heartbeat picks up as your hands start to tremble. You can’t feel the ground beneath your feet even if you seem to be standing – you _think_ you’re standing. The scent of flowers and dirt is gone, leaving nothing in its wake. You can’t feel air shift against your skin as you move, twisting your body this way and that in a frantic attempt to find anything interrupting the darkness. There’s no sound except your harsh breathing.

It’s so quiet.

You feel a giddy smile breaking across your face. After years spent in the loops, you’re overwhelmed by so many new – different – things. You don’t know what’s happening but it doesn’t matter. You can figure it out.

(You barely notice the way you’re humming to yourself, the lilting tune stumbling through familiar songs)

A distorted voice causes you to flinch, hands darting up to protect your ears at the piercing sensation. The sound is garbled and barely illegible as actual words, but somehow the meaning is conveyed.

_“You shouldn’t be here.”_

You look around in an attempt to find the source. Nothing. You’re alone.   

_“You are an anomaly. A glitch in an already imperfect system. How much more can the code be disturbed before this universe is corrupted entirely?”_

You pull your lips into a lopsided grin. “The name-calling is a bit immature, isn’t it?” Your voice echoes oddly in the empty space, louder than you intended. It doesn’t sound like you – like hearing a recording of your voice. “Have some _manners._ Why don’t you introduce yourself?”

A long pause. Then, as if they’d always been there, a person – no, a monster – forms before you. Just like you he’s entirely black and white. A white face peers down at you, marred by black eyes and a slash of a mouth. It looks a lot like a mask; flat and smooth, with a thick black crack trailing down from the left eye to his mouth, and another from the drooping right eye up his forehead. He’s much taller than you, draped in a black coat which barely distinguishes itself from the darkness surrounding the two of you, the white turtleneck beneath standing out in sharp contrast.

_“Introduce…myself?”_

You get the impression that he’s amused, even though nothing about his face changes. It’s similar to how you know he’s male, that he’s not a danger (yet), and how even though you’re sure you shouldn’t be able to understand what he’s saying, you can. It confuses you, but you figure the only thing you can really do is go with it. A lot of things over the past day or so have confused you. What’s one more?

“It’s only polite. Here, I’ll go first.” You have to think for a moment. You tend to change your name every few loops just to insert a bit of variation, introducing yourself to strangers as someone new each time. It’s not like who you are really matters all that much. No one will remember you. “I’m Avery,” you decide on. You once got a tattoo from a guy named Avery, he was pretty nice. Too bad the tattoo didn’t last through loops.

You hold your hand out expectantly. The pinpricks of light in his eyes shift to it, before he slowly extends his own hand. You notice the hole in his palm and feel the empty space as his hand wraps around yours, squeezing briefly then falling away. You wonder if all monsters are so different from each other; he looks nothing like the few you've already met, after all. 

It’s all…surprisingly normal. A handshake with a monster in an endless void. 

_“I am Doctor W. D. Gaster.”_

“Nice to meet you, Doctor Gaster,” you say cheerily.

He starts, the white parts of his eyes growing slightly larger. _“It has been…a long time since someone said my name.”_

You blink. “Oh, well. It’s a very nice name. Unique. I’ve never met a Gaster before. So, uh, where are we?”

 _“Nowhere. We are outside of time and space, barely hanging on by a thread to the mere notion of existence. You are more successful in doing so than I,”_ he adds, somewhat ruefully.

“Well, you know, existing is just one of my many skills,” you boast absentmindedly. Outside of time and space? That…didn’t sound healthy. You may not have the best relationship with time, but even the loops are better than this emptiness. “How do I leave? I’m sure you’re great, but I kind of need to be getting back. Places to go, people to interrogate.”

He seems to shrug. _“It is likely that you will return once the world has reset.”_

“Ah.” You scratch the side of your head. So this is what happens when Chara resets without you dying first. It’s a bit unnerving, you have to admit. You don’t feel real here without an environment to measure yourself against. The vast nothingness doesn’t do much to improve your mood.

You focus on the monster standing in front of you. “How’d you end up here?”

_“I did something foolish. This is the price I must pay.”_

“Okay. That was vague. But, whatever, I’ll respect your privacy. Can you tell me what you meant with the whole “anomaly” business?”

 _“You should not exist as part of this world. You are the result of the fallen child playing with forces they do not understand,”_ he explains, aggravation lacing his voice. _“If they continue, the damage will be…irreparable. Already, too much stress has been placed on the timeline. It has become so unstable that your “loops” were created and, when you intersected with the fallen child’s resets, you became a part of this world. You reduced my presence to what would be, from your perspective, the present and the past. The future is…uncertain,”_ he concludes musingly. 

You barely hear him.

Chara caused the loops. Chara made you to live and die and live and die and live and die on endless repeat, some sick joke which never reached the punchline. Chara is the reason you were stuck in an unchanging purgatory, reduced to hiding in your room and wishing you didn’t exist, _begging_ for it to just _stop_.

Your fists clench. Well then. You might be breaking your “no killing” tendency soon enough.

You can stretch it out, can’t you? You’re good at killing, even if it has been a while. You can make it _hurt._  

Gaster is watching you warily. “If _you kill them, they will just reverse time so that it never occurred.”_

“Oh, I don’t know,” you say softly, mouth twitching into a broad grin. “It’s worth a try. Or hundred. I’ve got all of eternity to find out, right?”

He shakes his head. _“You won’t remember this when you wake up.”_

“What?!” you exclaim, smile dropping. “I can’t just- I can’t just _forget.”_

 _“You don’t have a choice,"_ he says solemnly. 

“No! I refuse, damn it!” you snarl, lunging towards the monster and wrenching him down so that his wide eyes are on level with your own. “I finally have the answers I’ve been searching for _centuries_ for – you really think I’m going to give that up?” Hysterical laughter escapes you. “No. _No._ I’ll remember, I’ll remember everything, just like I always do. You could say remembering is my very own superpower!”

You let go and take a step back, pressing your hands roughly to your face. “This is a change. New, different. I can’t forget it. I won’t. You won’t take it from me, I won’t let you.” You glare at him as he watches you cautiously. “You hear me? _I won’t let you.”_   

Your soul pulses. It appears in front of your chest, the grey startling in this black and white world. It thrums with your resolution. A broken smile stretches across your face as it fades from sight.

It’s okay. Everything will be okay.

 _“The power of determination always has…interesting effects.”_ Abruptly, Gaster straightens. _“It may be enough to prevent corruption. If you do remember, you need to take the fallen child to the Determination Extraction Machine within Alphys’s lab,”_ he says urgently. _“Killing them is pointless, but if you manage this then there is chance that the timeline can be saved.”_

“Determination. That’s…how Chara is able to reset, right?” It isn’t hard to guess what the machine does.

If Chara can’t reset, then you’ll actually be able to die. Relief surges through you and you slump with the force of it. You’ll finally be able to end it. No more endless days. It can stop.

He’s quiet for a long moment. _“Theoretically, yes. Only beings with determination can alter time.”_

“Okay,” you breathe. “Okay.” You push your sleeve up, then you reach into your pocket and pull out your switchblade. The knife flips out smoothly and you press it to the skin on the back of your forearm. “Just in case.”

 _“What are you doing?”_ Gaster asks, alarmed.

“Insurance.” You start to carve into your flesh, grunting at the initial flash of pain. _G A S T E R._ You pause before adding slowly; _D E T E R. E X T R A C T. A L P H Y S L A B. U S E O N C H A R A._ The jagged words leak thick, black liquid down your arm. You just hope it sticks around.

You frown as you put away your knife and roll down your sleeve. _“Why_ wouldn’t I remember, anyway?” You…probably should have asked that before mutilating yourself.

 _“I do not exist, therefore you cannot form memories concerning me. I have been erased from reality,”_ he says flatly, the pinpricks of his eyes dulling.  

“Oh.” Your gaze falls on his crumpled turtleneck and you grimace sheepishly. “Sorry about that. Strong emotions – you know how it is.”

The black stretch of his mouth widens humourlessly. _“Indeed.”_ He looks at your feet. _“It seems you are leaving.”_

Static is consuming your legs, crawling up your body and taking with it any sense of touch. You tense before forcing yourself to relax. This isn’t anything to worry about, remember? You’d hope Gaster would say something if it was.

“Well.” You smile at him. “This was definitely enlightening. Take care of yourself, Gaster. Hopefully I’ll see you around.”

Static envelops your vision.

_“…Goodbye.”_

You wake up.

“Finally!” Flowey exclaims, blocking your view of the hole above in favour of his irate expression. “You were taking forever to wake up. We need to get a move on if we want to catch Chara before they reset again!”

“Right.” You sit up, feeling disorientated. You guess that’s what happens when Chara resets when you’re still alive. Weird. “Let’s go,” you say as Flowey takes his position on your shoulder.

Your left arm stings faintly and you frown at it. You rub the skin through your sweater absently. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Glares at chapter* This one was so hard to write, largely because I actually had to start plotting past a few chapters. So, basically everything may be subject to me going back and editing the shit out of it if I change my mind, just so you know. 
> 
> One good thing about writing Gaster? *peers at all the fanon representations of the guy* It's pretty impossible to actually write an OOC version, if you take into account how different everyone writes him. He's more talkative than I was expecting him to be - gonna blame than on the whole, this is the first conversation he's had in a while where the other person can actually hear him, thing. Poor dude. 
> 
> So, Reader finally got a name! I like the name Avery so I decided to just go with it, might change it later. And aww look, baby's first break down! (that we've seen, anyhow). It's gonna get worse before it gets better. 
> 
> I've finished up the next chapter, and can I just say that writing Chara is hard as hell. And it went basically the opposite of how I imagined their meeting would go. God damn it Avery. 
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear what you guys think! Especially since we're actually getting a bit of a plot now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally meet Chara. They're a bit of a brat. 
> 
> (You almost remember)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Uhhh kind of child abuse? Does Chara count as a child? Mild violence directed towards a child, at least.

Turns out the spikes _are_ perfectly hurdle-able.

You kind of want to stick around for a chat with the sassy rock, but your objective (and an annoyed Flowey) keeps you on track. You keep up a manageable run all the way through the Ruins, leaving you panting by the time you reach a large courtyard.

There’s a rather ominous black tree in the centre, all of its red leaves coating the ground around it. Flowey doesn’t offer up any of his usual disdainful comments as you make you way around it, heading towards the house ahead. It’s in much better condition than anything else in the Ruins. You wonder if this is where Toriel lived. Lives? You might not have run into her, but she could still be alive. In which case you hope she isn’t home.

The door is wide open.

“Are you getting a horror movie vibe, or is it just me?” You turn a grin on Flowey, but he’s resolutely looking straight ahead. His leaves are shaking minutely. Your smile falls slightly. “Right. Well, I think I can take it from here if you want to wait outside?”

He starts, visibly gathering himself. “No. I want- I want answers just as much as you do. It’s better than doing nothing. Besides, you’d just end up getting lost, or tripping over air and killing yourself. You need me.” Beneath his arrogant smirk he looks nervous, like he’s expecting you to shove him off your shoulder.

Instead you beam. “Cool. Wandering into a perilous situation is always much more fun with a friend to share the terror!”

“You’re such a weirdo.” He shakes his head, a small, amused smile forming reluctantly on his face. You feel a sense of accomplishment.

The interior of the house is warm and cosy, a sharp contrast to the desolate Ruins, illuminated by soft, yellow lighting. There’s a room on one side and a hallway in the other direction. To the left you can see smashed furniture and crumpled paper - ripped out of the books tumbling from the shelf - littering the floor. In front of you is a set of stairs leading down. “Where to?”

The sound of smashing glass interrupts whatever he’s about to say. Your head snaps to the right and you head towards the noise, feeling Flowey’s vines tighten around you. Standing at the end of the hallway is a small child, their fist buried in the shattered mirror before them, blood trickling down their arm.

(For a split second the blood runs black)

You step closer but they don’t seem to notice you. Their head is bowed, brown hair falling messily over their face. They’re wearing a blue and purple striped sweater and brown shorts, the clothing covered in dust. You idly wonder just how many monsters they had to kill to get that much dust on them.

“It’s me,” they’re muttering, and you can see how they’re glaring at what remains of their reflection. “It’s still me. It’s me-”

“Hello, Chara.” Cold is rushing through your veins, twisting around your chest and pulling taunt. Your fingers curl into the skin of your palms. You smile emptily at the startled child. “I think it’s time we had a chat.”

“How-” Vibrant red eyes flicker across your face before focussing on Flowey, narrowing accusingly. “What did you _do,_ Asriel?”  

Flowey stiffens, breaking through his fear to say indignantly, “M-me?! I didn’t do anything! I thought it was you!”

(You are the result of the fallen child playing with forces they do not understand. If they continue, the damage-)

Chara scoffs, crossing their arms. “Why would I bring a _human_ into the Underground?” They give you are spiteful glance when they say ‘human’, but you barely notice.

“You’re the only one who could’ve!”

There is static in your head.

“Well, I didn’t. So why don’t you tell me what you’re doing here, human?” They smile brightly, pulling out a knife which sprinkles dust onto the ground.

When you don’t say anything their face darkens, even as they maintain their wide grin. “I _said-”_

(your “loops” were created and, when you intersected with the fallen child’s resets, you became a part of this world)

Chara’s back slams into the wall and they grunt in pain. You hold them up there with a hand scrunched in their collar, pressing your arm against their throat, just loose enough that they can breathe. You snatch away their knife whilst they’re still thrown off guard, and chuck it down the hallway. You hear it clatter against the floor.

“Hey, now,” you say flatly. “There’s no need for threats.”

They struggle against your hold but you easily keep your grip. No matter what time powers they have, they’re still a kid a lot younger than you are. Maybe ten years old at most. You hardly react to the fists hitting your body and the kicks to your thighs – it doesn’t seem all that important at the moment.

Anger. You haven’t felt anger like this in…a while. You don’t fully know why it’s all directed at this small child, but it’s taking everything you have not to just wrap your fingers around their neck and _squeeze._

Odd. You weren’t a particularly homicidal person, usually. You guess this place brought out the best in you.

Chara abruptly stops and hangs limply, glaring sullenly at you. You guess what they’re about to do.

“Don’t go resetting on me now. I won’t be very happy with you.”

They give a short laugh. “And _this_ is happy?”

You tilt you head. “Comparatively. I’ve had a very long day, you see. My breaking point could be just around the corner.” You bare your teeth in a grin. “That wouldn’t work out well for you. Take my word for it.”

Chara’s eyes widen slightly, but otherwise they don’t react. Then they smirk. “Wow, that was _sooo_ scary. You really think you can intimidate me? _Me?”_

You shrug, twisting their collar tighter so that it bites into their neck. They wince and their breathing harshens, fingers scrabbling at your hand. “That’s not my aim. I told you; I just want to chat. Can’t have you resetting. Do you think you can manage that, Chara?”

They grit their teeth and glower at you. Finally, they nod.

Your lips pull into a large smile. “Great!” You drop them.

They land with a stumble, having to use the wall to keep balance. You walk over to the discarded knife and pick it up, looking it over curiously. At first glance it seems to be a toy knife, made out of harmless plastic. Upon a closer look you could see that the edge has been sharpened, making it a lethal weapon. You slip it into your pocket.

“Well?” Chara says demandingly, scowling up at you. “Are we going to ‘chat’ or not?”

You peer at them. “You’re very impatient, aren’t you?” You sit on the ground and look at them expectantly. “C’mon, then.”

With a huff they join you, keeping a couple of metres between you. You hear a shaky breath and glance at Flowey. He’s still on your shoulder, vines so tight they’re painful. “You mind loosening up a bit there, Flowey?” you say warmly.

He jumps, frantic eyes meeting your own for several long seconds before he slowly relaxes his hold.

“Thanks.” You turn back to Chara, meeting their hostile gaze. You flush and scratch your cheek. “Ah, sorry about that.” You smile sheepishly. Threatening the one person who might give you answers? Not your brightest moment. Besides, hurting people isn’t something you do, remember? You made a promise, even if it was only to yourself.

They stare at you incredulously. Then they shake their head. “Ignoring your obvious mental instability, why are you still here? I told you that I didn’t do anything.”

You hold up a finger. “The problem I have, is that I’m tied to your resets. It doesn’t matter if you’re as innocent as freshly driven snow in the matter. I’m still gonna be dragged through these loops along with you.”

They gape. “You remember what happens in previous resets? But that’s-”

“Impossible, yeah, I know.” You quickly fill them in on the fact that you’ve been stuck in loops up on the surface, ignoring their disbelief.

“I’ve accepted-” you wave your hands around “-this. I’m having more fun that I’ve had in, well, decades. So I’m pretty chuffed all things considered. My problem is that you keep resetting and I can tell that’s going to get annoying.” You lean towards Chara with a sharp grin. “So why don’t you stop that, huh?”

They rest their chin on their hand with a bored expression. “Can’t. Loading doesn’t help much with getting past Sans, so I keep trying to reset instead. Last time I almost avoided him too.” They pout.

You straighten with a smile so wide your cheeks hurt. “There’s _more_ to the Underground?!” Letting out a delighted laugh you jump to your feet. You think you heard Flowey mention something about that before, but you’d somehow managed to forget. “This I have to see!”

“Good luck with that,” Chara calls lazily. You peer at them curiously as they continue, “Didn’t you hear me? _I can’t get past Sans.”_

“Oh.” You deflate in disappointment. If Chara couldn’t get past this guy, then they would just keep resetting and tugging you back to the start with them. You’re pretty sure they’d keep that ability no matter how much you hurt them, too, and if they’ve been resetting for half as long as you’ve been looping, then they can probably handle pain.

In that case, there’s really only one solution.

You extend your hand to the sitting child, matching their confusion with a grin. “Let’s go. You can show me around the rest of the Underground.”

“Are you deaf or something?” they ask, eyebrows raised. “He’s not gonna let me past just because I have a chaperone, you know.”

“Who said I need his permission?”

A smirk breaks across Chara’s face. “This should be interesting, at least.” They grab your hand and let you pull them up. Their blood sticks to your palm.  

“Where to?” you ask Flowey. He’s looking at the both of you oddly, mouth a firm line. You hope he remembers your promise. You pat one of his vines and his expression shifts into resignation.

He nods towards the entranceway. “Down the stairs. There’s a door to the rest of the Underground.”

“Okay.” You glance at Chara, who returns your gaze with an emotionless smile. “Anything you want to bring with you?”

They snicker, bringing a hand up to cover their mouth. “You sure are confident, aren’t you? I think I’ll be fine as I am.”

“Suit yourself.” You take off at a leisurely pace, no longer racing against the next reset. Chara skips along childishly at your side. Your brows furrow slightly. They’re an odd kid, that’s for sure. But you guess it’s to be expected. You fall far short of normal yourself.

You’re halfway down the stairs when Chara asks, “Do you at least have a weapon?”

You think of the switchblade in your pocket, and Chara’s knife in the other. “I won’t need one.”

Chara stops short, then hurries to catch up when you keep walking. “What’s that supposed to mean?” they demand as you enter the basement – well, you think it’s a basement. It’s another long corridor at least, stretching ahead before turning off to the left. Bit big for one, then.

“I’m not really the violent type.”

Chara breaks into laughter. “That’s a joke, right?”

“Nope, one hundred percent serious.”

You see their irritated face out of the corner of your eye. “You’re going to die. You’re going to die over and over again and I’m going to _laugh.”_

“That’s nice,” you say absently. You think you hear Flowey snort faintly.

Finally you reach the doors. Engraved on them is the emblem you’ve seen previously in the Ruins and on Toriel’s dress (You briefly wonder where she is. Then you realise that Chara likely killed her). You trace it with your finger.

“It’s called the Delta Rune,” Flowey explains softly. “It represents the Dreemurr royal family.”

“You guys have royalty?”

He pauses, before saying angrily, “What does it matter? Let’s just go.”

“No, Asriel, why don’t you tell us allll about the royal family?” Chara pipes up teasingly, twirling around to stand in front of you. “I bet the human is _super_ interested.”

“No need to be a brat, Chara,” you say, enjoying the outraged look that flashes across their face.

Before they can say anything in response you shove the doors open.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Head desks* How do people write Chara so well? There's so little to work with - that bit at the end of a Genocide run (cold, inhuman destroyer) doesn't make for the most interesting characterisation, and all you know otherwise is "hates humans, not a good person, wanted to break barrier but now just wants to destroy everything". Still, hope you guys liked my rendition. 
> 
> To clear up any confusion, Avery doesn't really remember what went on in the previous chapter. Those bits in brackets are kind of half-remembered snippets which influence their behaviour. Don't worry - it will eventually all come back. 
> 
> Next chapter we meet Sans, who is kinda off from his canon self (allll shall be explained...eventually). Hopefully it doesn't disappoint :) 
> 
> I love reading your comments, so thanks! And thank you for the kudos - I never imagined that I'd get so invested in this fic when I started last week!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Sans.
> 
> His lasers are pretty awesome.

The first thing that registers is the cold. It sweeps in through the open doorway, sending a shudder down your spine. You step outside, snow crunching beneath your boots and Chara’s trainers when they follow you. Rows of tall, dark trees line the path ahead of you, just as bereft of leaves as the one near Toriel’s house, and they’re so big you can’t even guess where the woods go. You don’t think you’ve ever seen any trees like this before.  

Chara stomps over to a snow-covered bush. There’s the sound of shattering glass and plastic. You blink and wander over to them, catching sight of the remnants of a camera on the ground. You tilt your head questioningly at Chara. What was with this kid and breaking stuff?

Chara grins. “I don’t like being spied on.”

Someone’s spying on them? And you, too, by association. Why? Well, if Chara is the destructive force Flowey has led you to believe, you understand why people would want to keep an eye on them. Or maybe they’re just big on surveillance around here.

You shrug. “Fair enough. So,” you cast a glance around the seemingly desolate area. “Where’s this Sans guy?”

The only warning you get is the appearance of your soul (your arm is burning). A bright blue laser blasts through the treeline towards you, a high-pitched whine rending the air. You leap back to avoid it, grateful for how easily it is to move with your soul outside of your body, even if it leaves you stumbling.  

You catch sight of Chara doing the same. Well, similar. They only step slightly to the side, just enough to get out of the way; like they’d been expecting it. You suppose they had, going by the number of times they must’ve gone up against this guy. He must be good at fighting to force them back in the Ruins every time, especially since Chara would learn how to better avoid attacks each time. Then again, if he remembers too, he’d also improve. Or, at least know how to fight them better.  

You examine the furrow carved into the ground, steam rising from it. The laser must’ve impacted the wall of the Ruins but there’s barely a mark on it. That doesn’t mean you fancy getting caught in the attack.

You eyebrows are raised high. Well. He certainly doesn’t pull any punches.

Annoyance flickers across Chara’s face before it shifts into a bright smile. “He must’ve been waiting for me.” They giggle and call, “Come on out, Sans! Or are you just going to hide away? I can’t say I’m surprised. Hiding is something you’re good at, isn’t that right?”

Flowey squirms on your shoulder. You crouch down and say, “Guessing you don’t want to hang around for this, huh?”

He doesn’t meet your gaze as he sinks into the snow and finds the dirt beneath. You lightly pat the petals on the top of his head, smiling when he looks up in surprise. “Hey, I wasn’t expecting you to. I’m betting those lasers are gonna hurt like a bitch.”

He grimaces. “They sure do. Um, good luck, I guess,” he says, like the words are being pulled painfully from his mouth.

You can’t help but laugh a little even as he gives you a scathing look. “Thanks. I’ll try my best!”

You straighten up, finding Chara watching you with a blank expression. Then their eyes shift to somewhere behind you and their lips curl into a smirk. _“Finally.”_

Oh. So he’s right behind you. Awesome.

Thankfully he doesn’t one-shot you before you have chance to turn around. You’re hit with a sudden bout of familiarity as you examine the skeleton-like monster, which you shake off in confusion. You know you’ve never seen him before.

(You could say remembering is my super power)

He’s skeleton-like in that he’s not like any human skeleton you’ve seen. There’s no separation for his jaw; instead his toothy grin seems permanently plastered to the smooth expanse of his skull. The wide, shocked shape of his eye sockets contradict the happy expression of his smile, and they don’t seem set in place like a human skull. He’s shorter than you by a good few inches, proportions stocky beneath the blue, fur-hooded jacket and black shorts. You smile a little when you spot the pink slippers on his feet. Interesting fashion choice.  

Pinpricks of light watch you warily from within his black eye sockets. “Another human?” he says questioningly.

You wave. “That’s me. Bona fide human here.”

He snorts, seeming surprised. His grin stretches a little wider. “Making puns at a time like this? You’ve got quite the sense of comedic timing.”

“Wha-” You blink. Then you let out a startled laugh. “Oh. _Oh._ Because you’re a skeleton with bones and-” You push a hand back through your fringe before high-fiving yourself. “Good one, me. Didn’t think you had it in you.”

Why do monsters keep giving you weird looks? You’re reasonably sure _you’re_ the one who should be freaked out by all the sentient flowers, killer goat ladies, huge fly-spewing frogs, (non-existent doctor monsters), and animate skeletons!

Sans sighs. “Why don’t you just step over to the side a bit?” He glares at Chara, the lights disappearing from his eyes. “Got something I need to take care of.”

You’re kind of tempted to do so – the guy is ridiculously good at being intimidating for a short skeleton in slippers. On the other hand you like the idea of getting to see more of the Underground, and you can’t do that if Chara just keeps resetting after less than a day.

You know you’re going to die this time. That’s fine. It’s not like you’ll ever run out of lives.

“No can do,” you say with a shrug. “For the time being you can consider me Chara’s knight in shining armour.”

“You’re _protecting_ them?” he says incredulously, looking disgusted. “Look, I don’t know what they told you but this isn’t some innocent kid. They’re just using you.” He shudders, one hand coming up to grasp the red scarf tied around his neck. “They’re a killer.”  

You absently wonder if Chara’s kill count trumps your own. Scratching the back of your head, you realise you don’t really know how many you _have_ killed. Your family at least a dozen times, most of the people in your school, random strangers you stumbled across…it’s a good few, anyway.

“My hands aren’t exactly clean either.”

He looks you over, the bone where his eyebrows would be scrunching together.

You smile faintly. “Humans. Not monsters.” You wonder if he even cares about the distinction. As far as you know monsters hate humans. Maybe monsters _want_ humans dead. They’ve certainly managed to off you a few times.

Eyes narrowing, he says, “Guess I can’t let you pass either.” That’s a no, then.  “Can’t say I appreciate the extra work, but…” A bright blue light forms in his left eye. “Slacking off isn’t an option anymore.”

You stare in awe as a large, draconic skull forms in the air behind Sans. Its eye sockets glow the same pale blue as Sans’s. Energy rapidly manifest within the open mouth brimming with jagged teeth, leaking out the sides in smoky swaths of blue. It’s probably the first thing in the Underground you can truly label as ‘monstrous’.  

The laser blast catches you off guard, even if it really shouldn’t have.

 

You wake up.

You’re staring at a purple door with an emblem – the Delta Rune – carved into it. Blinking in surprise, you wonder why you’re not back on the flower bed. Then, what just happened catches up with you.

“That went as well as I was-”

“That was AMAZING!” you gush, jumping on the spot with excitement. You just got laser blasted to death! _LASERS!_ Nothing like that has ever happened before, not even close. It gets the Number 1 Death spot without question! Sorry shark death, you really didn’t stand a chance against _that_ amount of awesome. Oh, wow, you expected a tough fight from the guy, but nothing on this level!

Chara is gawking at you. “Why are you so happy? He just _killed_ you!” they exclaim, throwing their arms out.

“Yeah, but did you see how cool it was?”

“That’s not the point!”

Confused, you frown at them. If that isn’t the point, then what is? Your remaining giddiness quickly twists it into a grin though. You look at Flowey. “Did you see it? How brilliant was that?!”

He rolls his eyes. “Very.” Then he pats your cheek condescendingly. “Maybe next time, last a bit longer?”

You chuckle awkwardly. Right. You were taken out in one hit – kind of pathetic. On the other hand, _laser._

“Oh!” You spin to face a glowering Chara. “How come I didn’t wake up back with the flowers?”

“I created a save point here. There’s no way you’d succeed when I failed, but it was entertaining to see just how badly you did.” They smile sweetly. “Your attack and defence are basically non-existent, after all. Even a froggit could kill you!”

“Ha ha, yeah, even a froggit. Imagine that.” You pointedly ignore Flowey’s snickering. “Why are they so low? I thought I have a high LV, or something?”

“It’s as high as it gets,” Chara says grudgingly. “But attack and defence is dependent on intent. On determination. As far as I can tell, you don’t have any at all!” they say cheerily.

“Guessing that’s a bad thing.”

“It means you’re weak.” Flowey sighs. “Killing a monster like Sans is impossible for you. You couldn’t hurt a fly.”

That strikes you as hilarious. You were the type of kid who pulled wings of flies, after all, before you got bored of it. “Then it’s a good job I don’t plan on killing him.”

Flowey groans whilst Chara gives you a dubious look. “ _Not_ kill him? Then how am I supposed to get past him?” they ask, hastily adding. “Not that I think you could even manage being a good distraction.”

You consider their question for a moment. After you made your ‘no killing’ resolution, you’d still managed to get into fights over the years, often times with people stronger than you. Knocking someone unconscious never guaranteed that the injury would be non-lethal, so you’d had to find other methods (well, if you weren’t keen on simply dying that loop) of ending a fight.

“Does using those lasers tire him out?” you ask.

 

Sans is already on the path ahead when you bounce outside, meeting your eager grin with a dull gaze.

“I’m just here for the kid,” he says. “Don’t get in my way.”

“Didn’t you hear me last time?” The notion that people now _remember_ the loops – resets – knocks you a little breathless. The things you do actually matter, now. People won’t just forget what you say (scream). “I’m not gonna give up on my second try.”

He frowns as much as he can with the permanent grin, shifting slightly. “It’s gotten worse..?” he mutters, gaze drifting away before he refocuses on you and Chara.

They give him a wave before stepping to the side, making it clear just who he has to fight. You spot Flowey popping up near the treeline. You’ve got quite the audience. Neither of them think you’ll last much longer than you did the previous go, but that’s not the plan anyway. You want to wear him down. That kind of thing takes a while.

You crack your knuckles and grin. You’ve always loved a good challenge. “Let’s get to it, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohmygosh I had so much trouble with this chapter. Like, I desperately wanted to write Sans in character, but at the same time of course he's gonna be a bit out of character, he's got a shit tonne of timelines shoved into his skull! Oh, well. I hope I did okay.
> 
> Also, I can't do puns. My humour leans towards sarcastic comments and blunt statements. So when I genuinely ACCIDENTALLY made that "bona fide" pun I just had to include it. I figure Sans won't be doing much punning since he's, uh, not in the best of moods. Maybe later, if I can manage it.
> 
> Next chapter - I try my hand at writing fight scenes. It's gonna get messy. 
> 
> Let me know what you think :D And thank you so so so much for the kudos and comments, you guys are brilliant!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: You don't last long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Stronger violence than usual (still not especially bad, though), swearing

You don’t last very long.

A burst of triumph flashes through you when you manage to dodge the first laser blast. Unfortunately, you just walk into the path of another laser dragon’s maw (he can make _more_ of those things?! Awesome!), and get eviscerated shortly after.

Chara laughs at you when your eyes open to see the familiar purple door. “Some knight in shining armour you are.”

You shrug. It was only your second try, after all.

You’re vibrating a bit in excitement. You’re doing terribly, sure, but at least you’re having a great time! This isn’t like when Flowey kept killing you. You’d been keeping to a set few actions – he pretended to be harmless, you asked a couple of questions, he shot your soul.

This time it’s all about the variation; how you can try to predict the way he’ll attack. You’ll both remember the past round but actions like fighting are ingrained in people. Set patterns and behaviours.

You grin viciously. You just need to figure out his pattern. You’re good at that kind of thing.

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Of course,” Chara says sweetly. You get the impression they don’t have much faith in you.

This time, Sans seems resigned at your appearance. “You sure you wanna keep doing this?”

“Reasonably.” You smile brightly. “I really want to build a snow man, after all!” The loops have never lasted long enough for winter to roll around, and you miss playing in the snow. You have a really good memory, so you can recall what it’s like to dig your hands into the painfully cold snow, scooping up the perfect snowball and lugging it at your Dad. You were eleven, relishing in the cancellation of school. That was a good day.

Sans flinches back. You wonder why he looks so bothered. He killed you fine last time, so that can’t be it. Then again he didn’t look all that happy to begin with, which was odd for a guy who’s constantly smiling. You’ve read that even the act of smiling makes people feel better. Maybe it just doesn’t work that way with monsters?

You face plant into the snow in order to avoid a laser fired your way. Lifting your head up, you wrinkle your nose and brush off the flakes covering your cheeks and forehead. That’ll teach you to drift off into thought in the middle of a fight.

“Cheap shot, dude,” you say disapprovingly as you push yourself to your feet.

His eyes narrow. “Did you expect a fair fight?”

Bones shoot from the ground. You trip backwards with a yelp, your left leg getting knocked harshly in the process, and find yourself tumbling to the side to dodge a wave of bones thrown your way. Bone-summoning powers, too? And not even nice little human bones – some are as tall as you, and about as thick. Jeez, talk about OP.

Before you can get caught in your ruminations you have to dart out of the way of another laser blast. You’re graceless and unsteady, but you’re getting used to the reduction in weight caused by your soul. It means you can move faster and react quicker. On the other hand, you don’t know how much force is needed to move precisely where you want.

You’re learning though. And that’s all that matters.

Typically, this is when you lose control of your momentum and windmill into a laser.

 

You try talking to him whilst you fight. There’s no rules against chatting whilst attempting to kill someone, right? Unfortunately, he’s not much of a conversationalist.

It doesn’t stop you.

“What do you have against Chara, anyway? Did they make fun of you? I think mocking people is their way of showing affection, so you shouldn’t be too offended!”

Chara glares at you after that load. You smile back cheerily.  

 

“Wait, so we’re underground, right? Then how is there snow? Or, light for that matter? I can’t see the ceiling to this place, just- are those clouds?!”

Turns out gawking at the sky during a fight is not one of the better ideas you’ve had.

 

“What do you do for fun around here? Snowball fights? I’m betting on snowball fights. Those are the _best._ I am the master of making snow forts, even if I can’t hit someone to save my life. That’s what minions are for, anyway! Hey Flowey, you wanna join my team? You’re pretty good with those bullets of yours – I bet you’re even better with snowballs! You can join too Chara! We can be Team Murderous Assholes! Oh, or how about Team Murder Buddies? Gotta fit 'murder' in there somehow...it's your favourite hobby!”

Chara lugs a snowball at your back. The moment of distraction costs you.

 

“If you’re a skeleton how are you not falling apart without, muscle and skin, and stuff? Is it magic? It’s magic, isn’t it? That’s- oooh _so_ close, you’ve got really good aim, y’know that? You'd be a _terror_ in a snowball fight. What was I saying? Right! That’s brilliant, Biology would’ve been _waaay_ more fun if we had magical skeletons!”

You think his smile might’ve been a bit more genuine for a second. You aren’t sure though, because soon after some bones shredded your torso and pretty much insta-killed you. Damn.

 

Then, one run, he actually says something.

“You killed humans on the surface,” Sans starts as you hurdle the bones he sends spiking from the ground. “Why?”

You twist around a laser blast and duck under the bones thrown your way. You give a pleased smile. You’re getting better at this.

It sinks in he’s speaking to you and you blink at him. “Oh.” He’s not attacking you at the moment. Instead, he’s just watching you with an assessing gaze. “Well, I was stuck in a loop up there, like you guys. I didn’t have control of it or anything, so I, uh, found a way to pass the time.”

He glares at you coldly. “Killing is just…passing the time for you?” he spits.

You frown, scratching your cheek. What was killing for you?

Entertainment. A way to distract yourself, to make things different. It wasn’t personal – you’d never really hated someone before, or anything like that. You liked testing out different ways to kill, to find which was best. Like how you found the best ways to make people like you, and how to help them with their problems. Killing was just a new game to play. 

At least, that’s what is was later on.

The first time…you were angry. Your parents never changed, they were just faded puppets of the people you once loved (you think you loved them). What did it matter if they died? What did it matter if they screamed? Maybe if you hurt them, they’d feel even one _ounce_ of your pain. Maybe they’d finally understand why you couldn’t pretend any longer.   

It didn’t work, of course. You turned the knife on yourself, sitting in a pool of their blood, and the next time you tried wasn’t any better. Or the next. Or the next.

You pull your lips into a grin. “Used to be. I don’t do it anymore. It’s not really my thing.”

His jaw tightens, eye sockets narrowed angrily. Then he snorts. “Should’ve expected something like that. You’re not much better than Chara, are ya?”

You shrug. “I can’t say I’ve ever destroyed a world before. That would be viewed as worse, right?” you ask.

The bone where his eyebrows would be raise. “You really need to ask that? Boy, you’re messed up.”

You smile. “I know. I can’t really help it.”

“S’pose you can’t.”

You get a quick death this go around – bones crush your skull and you’re dead before you can register any pain.

You get odd looks from both Flowey and Chara. Something flickers through Chara’s otherwise blank gaze before they take their position outside by the door, arms crossed and head tilted down. Their fingers clench into their sweater.  

You look at them curiously. What’s that about? You’re distracted by the thrill of barely postponing your next death, meeting a grim Sans with boundless enthusiasm.

 

You’re getting used to this laser thing. The dragon skulls light up a few seconds before releasing a blast, usually giving you time to throw yourself out of the way. Usually.

You scream when your arm gets caught, erased from your shoulder down. It only hurts for a moment, the wound almost instantly cauterised, but the odd shredding-burning sensation is one of the most painful things you’ve experienced. This is the first time you’ve been seriously injured - without dying quickly after anyway - in your fight against Sans.

You start snickering, because what is _with_ monsters and your right arm? It’s like they have it out for your poor limb.

When you notice the lack of further attacks you glance over at Sans. He’s staring at your injured shoulder with wide eyes, one of his hands extended towards you. You think he actually looks a bit ill, his grin turned down at the edges.

“You okay there?” you ask, concerned.

He looks at you incredulously before barking out a laugh. “You’re asking if _I’m_ okay? This another joke?”

“Um. No, not a joke.” He really doesn’t look good. You’re used to him seeming exhausted - this much emotion is rare. You think you prefer it to Mister Grimface, even if he doesn’t look at all happy.

“Fuck’s sake, pal.” He presses his outstretched hand over his eye socket – the one which occasionally flashes blue. It’s a cool effect.  “What’re you even doing? You haven’t tried to attack me once.”

You shuffle awkwardly. Your absent arm puts you off balance and you hastily right yourself, setting your weight on the opposite leg. You catch his wince. “I don’t want to attack you,” you say simply.

He gives you a frustrated glare. “Then what’s the point of all this? Why keep coming back every time I kill you?” He jabs a hand at an amused looking Chara. “For _that_ thing’s entertainment? Because that’s all this is to them. A bit of _fun.”_

He pauses. “Actually.” He turns to face Chara, three dragon skulls appearing in the air above him. “Why am I even bothering with you?” He chuckles. “Guess I really am losing my mind.”

“Hey, that’s just unfair!” Chara protests with a broad smile, heedless of the lasers being fired up. “You can’t go breaking the rules like that! The _human_ is your opponent now.”

“Says who?” he snarls.

“Uh, me, actually,” you pipe up, waving your remaining arm when they both glance at you. “Hello.”

“You really wanna fight me? Fine,” he says flatly.

He raises his hand towards you and your soul turns blue. You’re hit with the opposite of the soul’s effect – gravity weighs down on you, making you grunt and strain to stay upright. It’s like you’re being dragged down by weights attached to your entire body. You don’t have any chance to adjust before you’re sent flying into a tree.

Your back slams against the wood. Something cracks. Pain skitters down your spine and spikes through your body. You gasp in a breath, choking halfway through it. Then you’re smashed into the tree on the opposite side of the path, breaking your nose and several ribs in the process.

Back and forth you go, like the ball in a tennis match, until finally you’re dropped in a heap on the ground. When you try to breathe you can’t seem to get in enough air. You’re on your side, blood from cuts on your face obscuring the vision in one of your eyes, and you can see pieces of bone poking out through your jeans in several places. Your own bones, for a change.

A pair of pink slippers step in front of you. You hear Sans sigh. “Just give up. It’s pointless.”

You laugh wetly. Oh, that hurts. Imagine that.

You spit the blood pooling in your mouth onto the snow, staining it a vivid red. Give up. He wants you to give up.

What bullshit.

You tried giving up plenty of times, and what did it get you? Nothing. Even if you gave up you still had no choice to keep living. Your choices don’t matter, not really.

Or, at least they didn’t before you fell into the Underground. Until everything you’ve known for so long changed. You’ve got a hold of something dangerous now, don’t you? Something that’ll make you get up again and again and again, keep you fighting no matter what.

(Your sleeve is torn away up to the elbow. You can see the words carved into your skin.

_G A S T E R. D E T E R. E X T R A C T. A L P H Y S L A B. U S E O N C H A R A)_

You have hope.

Snow crunches as Sans moves away.

You dig your elbow into the ground and push. The action pulls a whine from your throat but you keep going, dragging your legs up until you’re on your hands – hand and knees (heh). Agony pulses through you and you bare your teeth in a savage grin.

You tilt your head up and meet Sans’ shocked gaze. “C-counting me out so soon? I’m offended.”

Your sight is blurring at the edges and you’re shaking, but you don’t care. Your teeth bite down on your lip hard enough to bleed as you force your weight onto your legs. If it weren’t for your soul bolstering your body, you’re sure you would fall. As it is you’re swaying in place, shattered bones crunching sickeningly. Your legs have just enough integrity to keep you upright – anything else is too much for them.

That’s okay. You’ve been in worse shape. And this time, you have something worth standing up for.

(your soul pulses and the wisps around it dissipate)

“You can kill me all you like,” you tell Sans, mouth shifting into a lopsided grin. It must look funny with all the teeth you've lost. “I’m not giving up. I might be pretty good at dying, but I’m even better at coming back.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Avery, you cheesy, ridiculously high pain-threshold potato. 
> 
> So, whilst I didn't write down every fight, you can probably imagine what happened (hint: Avery died a lot). Hopefully these snippets give you an idea of how that's going though. Oh, and I changed my mind about having them only coming back during resets because that would've made this bit a pain. However, if Chara creates a save point AFTER Avery dies, then Avery stays dead (until a reset). 
> 
> Hope you guys liked, thank you so much for the comments and kudos! Let me know what you think, especially if Sans is horrendously OOC (haha can you tell I'm still worrying about that? Welp, I am).


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How are you standing right now? 
> 
> Have a nap, already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELL YEAH we just hit 100 kudos baby! Have another chapter! 
> 
> Warnings: Standard violence, fatalism, threats, etc

He hesitates.

There are three dragon skulls still hanging about nearby, but he doesn’t use them. His eyes don’t leave yours, and you now know why the small white pinpricks are so familiar to you. You wonder if Gaster is watching all this – he said something about being present in both the past and the present, didn’t he. What does he think of all this? Probably that it’s pretty ridiculous. You’re on the verge of laughter yourself.

(but aren’t you always? Your very existence is a huge joke, after all)

You think Sans might be shaking a bit, drops of sweat sliding down his skull. Throwing you around must’ve tired him out – this is the first time he's used that kind of attack. Mostly he sticks to throwing bones your way and firing off lasers. They're, ah, a lot easier to dodge in comparison. 

Blood drips into your eye. Ha ha, you must be really gross looking, huh? Too be fair, blood isn’t a good look on anyone.

His eyes dart to Chara and back to you, before his shoulders slump. “Sit down. You look like you’re gonna keel over.”

Your brows furrow. “But you’ll start fi-”

“I won’t fight Chara!” he exclaims. “Jeez, just- just sit down, alright. You’re hurt enough as it is, no need to make it worse.”

You blink at him in confusion. What? “But I’m not any good like this. I can’t even dodge.”

“You don’t- you don’t need to dodge.” He takes an aborted step towards you before pressing the heel of his hand to his forehead, eyes scrunching shut. His other hand is tugging at his scarf. “Quiet down, alright? I can’t think.”

Okay, now you’re worried. “What’s wrong? I have some aspirin in my pocket if you have a headache.” You go to rummage around in the patchy pockets you’d sewn onto your sweater. A sharp twinge of pain through your hand reminds you of the broken state of your body, as well as the fact that the pills were probably crushed. “Damn. Forgot about that.”

Sans bursts into harsh laughter that borders on hysterical. You watch him, bemused. What is up with this guy?

Still, you decide to oblige him by sitting down. It’s difficult to do so with one arm, so you give up and just let yourself flop onto your backside. You groan faintly as you adjust to the new fissures of agony. That wasn’t fun. It _does_ feel better to be of your legs, though, so it’s not a total loss.

You smile up at a much calmer Sans. “So, I’m sitting. Your thinkpan recovered yet?”

“Sure.” He knocks the side of his head with his knuckles, making an odd, clacking sound. “Good as new.”

You snicker. “I can’t say the same,” you say, missing his wince. You don’t think you have a concussion, but you wouldn’t be surprised if there were some hairline fractures at the least. Still, you’re coherent. That’s always a good thing.

“Right, well, I’m not much good in this condition,” you say, glancing down at your body. With your legs outstretched in front of you, you can see the extent of the damage, and _boy_ is it not pretty. The fuzziness of your vision probably hides the worst of it, actually. “So would you mind killing me?”

“What?” He tenses, hands clenching at his sides.

“Killing me. Y’know.” You make a little gun with your hand – your fingers crackle oddly – and point it at him. “Pew, pew. Lasers. Death.”

He shakes his head. “No. I’m done killing you.” His grin is more fake than ever. “Haven’t you had enough? Give it a rest, already.”

You roll your eyes. “ _I’ve_ killed myself more than _you_ have. You have a long way to go before even coming close to my count.”

He blinks. “That’s, uh, that’s kinda sad, actually. Why’d you do that?”

You frown at him. “I told you. I’ve been looping – resetting, for a long time. Suicide is par the course.”

“A long time, huh?”

“Yup. About-” You break into a coughing fit, hunching over with the force of it. You feel like your lungs are trying to escape your chest, and it’s not long before you’re retching. By the time you’re done, your throat burns and you have tears in your eyes.

“Urgh,” you groan, slowly lifting your head. You see the bright blood seeping into the snow in front of you, and wipe away the spit around your mouth. “Great.”

“You’re pretty far gone, then?” He sounds…sympathetic. But why would he? You really don’t get this guy.

 “Uh-huh,” you say miserably. You hate vomiting. Throwing up blood isn’t any better, and in addition to that you can’t really breathe much. You’re probably going to start choking soon. That always sucks.

You hear a sigh. You look up through your fringe to see the vivid blue of a skull dragon’s mouth. Squinting, you can just about see Sans behind it. “Catch you on the flip side, pal.”

You wave. “See you later.”

You die.

 

You breathe in deeply and rest your forehead against the door. The lack of pain is sharp in its relief, and it’s all you can do to take slow, deep breaths, rather than gulping them down as you’d like to. You stretch the fingers of your right hand and pull them in tight. Stretch, tighten. Stretch, tighten.  

“Are you…alright?” Flowey asks tentatively. He’s on the floor beside you, and you can see his worried expression. You assume Chara has left since they don’t say anything. Gone to find something to kill, probably, if they hadn’t already murdered every monster in the Ruins.

“Great. I’m great.” You smile reassuringly, your eyes sliding shut. “I’m just gonna take a quick break, okay?”

“…okay.”

You slide into a seated position on the floor, your back against the door. You press your face into your knees. This is…well, you weren’t expecting anything like this. You’ve always, _always_ wanted to know what causes the loops. Ever since that first day – heh, you thought it was so cool back then, how stupid were you? – you’ve tried to find answers. Some reasonable explanation that wasn’t insanity, or worse. You got more complacent in the later loops, but the question always rode on your mind.

And now you know. You’re an accident, a “glitch”, something that never should’ve happened. Some kid didn’t have enough fun with their first couple of mass murders, so they rewound time until it broke. And to think, you never would’ve found out if you hadn’t happened to fall down one specific hole in the earth. If the pointless, never-ending hell that was your life hadn’t overwhelmed you, made you decide to walk and _keep_ walking.

You’re not sure if fate is on your side, or if it bitterly hates you.

Slowly, you smile. You’ve got a plan, now. A way out. Finally. All you need to do is get Chara to this lab, and you won’t ever _wake up_ again.

You’ll drag them kicking and screaming if you need to.

Drowsiness washes over you and you slump further. It’s been a while since you last slept, huh? Your body might not be tired, but sleeping is still a thing you need to do. You get rather loopy when you ignore the urge for too long.

You’re…pretty comfy here.

A short nap sounds nice.  

 

When you wake up, Chara is sitting cross-legged in front of you and Flowey is on your knees. They seem to be engaged in an intense staring match. You blink blearily at the two of them.

Your yawn whilst you shift a little to get comfier, drawing their attention to you. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Nope. Asriel and I were just having an…interesting talk. I learnt a lot!” Chara beams at you.

You imagine peeling the skin from their face with your knife. You don’t feel the intense rage that filled you when you first learnt of their involvement in the loops, but visualising their pained expressions sparks a vindictive satisfaction. It might take you a little while to get over it.

“Yeah. Interesting,” Flowey grumbles. “That’s the word for it.”

Chara sets their chin in their palms and pouts. “Aww, don’t be like that! I thought we were _best friends, huh, Asriel?”_ They grin sharply.

He shivers, stem bending away from the child. You lean forwards so you’re slightly above him, and smile. “Hey, now. What’s put you in such a bad mood?”

Their grin wavers. “I’m not in a bad mood. Can’t you see how _happy_ I am, being stuck in this boring place day after day? I just _love_ it here. In fact, I never want to leave! Which is just as well,” they snarl even as they maintain a saccharine smile. “At the rate you’re going, we never will!”

You raise an eyebrow. “No need to be such a pessimist. I’ve got this. Trust me.”

“Why would I trust you? You’re a _human,”_ they say, disgusted.

“Not a fan of humans, are you?”

“Like you’re any better?” they sneer. It’s an odd expression on such a young face. “You’re the one who’s killed enough of them to get such a high LV. It takes nearly every monster in the Underground for me to even get _close_ to that. You really hate humans, don’t you?” they say cheerfully.

You shake your head. “Not really. There’s too much variation to really hate humanity as a whole. And besides, it’s not like I went around systematically decimating towns. I mostly killed the same people over and over again.”

“Who?” they ask curiously.

“My parents.”

Their eyes widen. “Oh.” Chara looks down at the floor, scraping at the stone with a fingernail. “Was it…for revenge?”

You sigh faintly, tilting your head back to rest against the door. “No. They were- are, good parents, really. Couldn’t hope for better. I was just,” you give a short laugh. “I was a difficult kid to deal with. Always getting myself into trouble, running head first into danger. They did the best they could; I can’t ask for more than that.”

“Then why would you kill them?” You catch Flowey’s confused gaze. “They’re your parents,” he clarifies. “Don’t you care about them?” He pauses. “Love them?”

You hesitate. “I…I don’t know. They loved _me,_ so, I should’ve, right? I must’ve.” You bite your lip. “How…how do you tell if you love someone?”

Chara bursts into laughter. “You’re asking _us?_ That’s, haha, that’s hilarious!”

You give a hollow smile. “Yeah. It doesn’t matter. If this works I’ll never see them again, anyway.”

Flowey frowns at you. “What does that mean?”

Shaking your head, you say, “Nothing. Ignore me.”

“I’m hungry,” Chara declares, getting to their feet. “I’ll load later. Go get yourself killed if you want.” They set off down the corridor.

You wave. “Bye.”

You consider Flowey, who moves from your knees to sink into the ground at your side. “You’ve been quiet. What’s up?”

“Nothing,” he says quickly, looking away. “Quit being nosy.”

“Can’t help it.” You lean closer and say in a conspiratorial whisper, “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m a real worry wart. If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I’ll just _obsess_ over it and I’ll keep bugging you, don’t think I won’t.”

His mouth twitches into a small smile before he forces it into a scowl. “You’re so annoying.”

You tap your fingers to your head in a salute. “Sure am.”

He sighs gustily. “Fine. I’ve been staying away from Chara for a while now and,” he pauses and smiles weakly. “Being around them again doesn’t really bring up good memories. That’s all.”

“They hurt you, didn’t they?” you say flatly. “A lot.”

A shiver runs through him and he closes his eyes. “Yeah. You could say that.”

Your nails are biting into your palms. “Do you want me to hurt them?”

“What?!” He gapes up at you in shock.  

“Chara hurt you. So I’ll hurt them,” you explain patiently. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty good at it. I can probably distract them enough to prevent them loading or resetting, at least for a little while. After that, I can just find-”

“No!”

You blink at him in confusion. “No?”

“No, I don’t- I don’t want you to do that, okay?” His head is bowed, leaves fluttering nervously. “It won’t help, and they might- you shouldn’t underestimate them.”

You watch him for a few seconds before smiling softly. “Okay, I won’t do anything. But,” you bend down to meet his gaze, looking at him seriously. “If you change your mind, just let me know.”

He shivers and takes a deep breath before nodding resolutely. “I’ll remember.” An odd look passes over his features. “Uh, thanks. For offering.”

“Of course! You’re my friend, after all.”

He stares at you for a long moment. A small grin forms on his face. “Yeah. Friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Two chapters in one day?
> 
> THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR 100 KUDOS, 32 COMMENTS AND OVER 1000 HITS. WELL DONE.
> 
> *flails with happiness* Thank you thank you thank you!
> 
> (as always, I hope you liked the chapter and let me know what you think!)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scheming is fun.
> 
> The stakes are not.

You manage to drift off again for a while, before you force yourself to get moving. Having a rest is nice and all but you’re eager to fight Sans again. Besides, you won’t get any better at dodging his attacks by lying on the floor.

You relish the ease with which you can stand up. Whenever you get seriously injured, you always appreciate your unharmed body in the next loop. Not enough to make much effort in keeping from getting hurt again, but you still enjoy having a full range of movement.

You were pretty useless with so many of your bones shattered. Hopefully that isn’t an attack Sans can use often. Otherwise, you’re screwed.

“How long was I asleep?” you murmur, rolling your shoulders and grimacing at the cracks your spine makes. It turns out that lying on the floor against a door doesn’t make for the comfiest sleeping position. Still, you feel better for it. You needed some time to just sort everything out in your head. Well, as much as you can. 

“Not long,” Flowey says. “Three hours at most. You sleep like the dead, by the way. Do you have _any_ sense of self-preservation?”

“Judging by my past actions…I’d have to say no.”

“Figures,” he says quietly.

You consider the door you’ve opened so many times, eyes tracing the delta rune. “Hey, Flowey. Why does Chara call you Asriel? Is that your real name?”

He glares at you. “No, it’s not. Drop it.”

“Okay.” You turn back to the door and push. You stop, surprised, when you encounter resistance. It’s like something is pressed up against it on the other side. Has Sans blocked it? That’d probably be more effective in keeping Chara in than just killing you again and again.

Bracing your shoulder against the door, you shove at it with a grunt of exertion. Gradually, it starts to open, the gap getting just large enough for you to slip through. You stumble when your foot somehow gets caught, twisting around and hopping awkwardly on one leg before you manage to release it. You give an amused Flowey a triumphant thumbs up.

“Now, what’s-”

You blink, bemused, at the sight before you. Sans is sat on the ground, leaning against the door, with his eyes closed (eyelids made of bone? Okay). He’s breathing slowly and looks more relaxed than you’ve seen him, head tilted forward so his chin rests on his scarf. He fell asleep? If he’s really been killing Chara for as long as you’ve guessed, and then you for all the runs afterwards, is this the first time he’s slept in all that time? You can’t think of any other reason for why he’d let his guard down here, so close to the three of you. He must be exhausted.   

“Flowey? You mind keeping an eye on Chara and letting me know if they head back here?” you ask.

Flowey appears beside you in the snow and eyes you curiously. “Why? You could kill him right now - he only has one HP. A strong breeze could probably take him out.”

When you raise your eyebrows at him he sighs heavily. “I know, I know. Fine.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem, _friend,_ ” he says mockingly, before he sinks back under the ground. You can only assume he’s going off to find Chara. He’s smart enough to keep out of their sight, you’re sure. If they do something to him…well, you won’t react well.

You drop into a crouch near Sans. He doesn’t seem to notice you at all. You scratch the back of your neck, wondering what to do next. Now would really be the perfect moment to sneak Chara past him, but you can guess that Chara wouldn’t be happy with leaving him alone. They’d kill him. And you don’t want him _dead._

You’re not capable of judging people for killing or hurting others. You’re not a good enough person for that. At the same time, if you can stop it from happening, why wouldn’t you? Your own life is as expendable as it gets.

Before it might not have mattered so much, because the world would just loop and everything would be back the way it was before. But now that you have a way to finally put an end to it, every loop – reset – could be your last. Whoever dies this run might not come back. If everyone dies…the world would be so empty. You wouldn’t be able to stand it. Especially not _this_ world, already so much more vibrant than anything has been for decades. You can’t remember the last time you _felt_ so much. Maybe that’s why you can’t bring yourself to kill.

“Frigging emotions,” you grumble with a smile. “So inconvenient.”

With a huff you straighten up. You need to distract yourself. You look from Sans slumbering body to the snow surrounding you, and your lips curl into a mischievous grin.   

 

By the time Sans starts to wake up you’re nearly done with your masterpiece.

“Wha-what are you…” he says groggily, blinking slowly at you. You grin proudly. Then he looks down at himself. He snorts. “Did you make me…a skeletail?”

You snigger as you smooth down the edges of the fish tail you’ve crafted to his lower body. “Yup. Though, it’s not quite _fin_ ished.” You beam at his obvious amusement before returning to your work. You hum as you add more scales onto the lower portion of the tail, and make the fins a bit longer by packing on snow.

By the time you’re done you’re pretty proud of it. “Ta da!” you exclaim. “What do you think?”

His grin widens. “Seems a bit fishy to me.”

You pout and chuck a clump of snow at his chest. “I’ll have you know that this is _Art._ You don’t just insult Art.”

He raises his hands in surrender. “Sorry, sorry.”

You nod imperiously. “You are forgiven. Now,” you leap to your feet and extend a hand. “Want some help getting up? I, uh.” you smile sheepishly. “It’s a bit thick.”

He shakes his head. “That’s-” You think he must try to move, because he cuts himself off and gives the snow covering him a frustrated look. When he meets your gaze again you wiggle your fingers. He grimaces. “That’d be great.”

You pull him to his feet, snow falling in thick lumps off of him. He’s surprisingly light and even though his hand is made of bone, it’s almost as warm as yours are normally (sticking them in snow has cooled them down a bit). He quickly lets go and stuffs his hands in his pockets. You eye his thick jacket enviously. Whilst your sweater is comfy and all, it’s not really made for this kind of weather. Oh well, you can deal.

The pinpricks of his eyes dart around the area warily. “So. Chara gonna show up?” He tenses. “Or did they already get past?”

“Nah, they’re still in the Ruins. Flowey’s keeping an eye on them.”

He raises a brow. “Flowey? That’s not too reassuring. Last I checked, those two were buddies.”

You frown. “Not anymore. At least, I don’t think so.”

“Okay.” He shrugs. “S’good, I guess. Not sure if I’d be able to hold off the both of ‘em.” He shifts on his feet, smiling becoming forced. “Barely managing as it is, and you’re not even trying to kill me.”

You laugh. “You’re kidding, right? Man, you’re _decimating_ me. That last one was brutal – I couldn’t feel anything but pain!” you say admiringly.

Sans flinches and looks away. “Yeah. Didn’t mean- I didn’t mean to go that far. Sorry.”

You wave your hands frantically. “H-hey, it’s fine! These are my favourite deaths! Really, you knocked the man-eating shark and the faulty roller coaster out of the park!”

“Uh. Thanks?” he says unsurely.

“And those laser dragons of yours? Coolest murder weapons ever!” you enthuse.

He snorts. “They’re called Gaster blasters. And, yeah, I guess they’re pretty cool.”

You freeze. “Gaster…blasters? As in, Doctor W. D. Gaster?”

The lights in his eyes disappear abruptly. “How’d you know that name?”

“How do _you_ know that name?” you exclaim. “He told me he was erased from existence!”

His brows scrunch together. “He _told_ you?”

You scratch your cheek. “Oh, wow, how to explain this? Um, you know about the resets and all that, right? Well, when Chara reset I ended up in this weird place-” You make finger quotes “-'outside time and space', and Gaster showed up.”

“You saw him? And spoke to him?” he asks, eyes wide in disbelief.

“Yeah, nice guy. Told me I was a “glitch”, evidence of how corrupt this timeline is.” You frown. “Which, if I think about it, is kind of worrying. Luckily we have a plan!”

“A plan?” Sans echoes. He still looks rather stunned.

You nod. “A way to end the resets, permanently. That’s why I’ve been trying to get past you – well, now that I’ve remembered.” You continue solemnly, “I need to get Chara to something called the Determination Extractor. It’s in Alphys’ lab. Do you know where that is?”

“You could say that.” He gives a short laugh, pressing a hand to his forehead. “S’just like him, ain’t it? I’m scrabbling ‘round with a thousand deaths rattling in my skull, doing my best to stop even more, and he’s suddenly got all the answers. Typical.”

You eye him in concern. “Not all. I need to actually get Chara there for this to work, and it’s not like I even know what to do when I arrive.”

He meets your gaze resolutely. “Let me handle that. If there’s even a chance this could put an end to the resets, I’m all for it. I’d take you through a shortcut but…” He glances over at the door, before smiling ruefully. “Something tells me Chara wouldn’t be all that compliant. I’ve gotten good at killing 'em, but containing them’s a whole other game. One I ain't sure I'd win. They’d just reset.”

You think for a moment. What does Chara want?

To destroy everything. To kill. To leave the Ruins. And once they kill everything in this snowy place, they’ll move onto the next.

Okay, but what if it were you? What do you crave most (after a final death)?

“Something new,” you mutter. Your head snaps up. “Has Chara ever been to this lab?”

His eyes close for a few seconds. “No, not that I remember.” His eyes open and narrow on you. “Why? What’s that matter?”

“They’ve got to be bored.” You grin. “What’s more fun than an adventure?”

He considers you. “That…could work. But what’s to stop ‘em from killing every monster in their way? I can’t let that happen. Not again.”

You put a hand to your collar bone. “I think you’ll find I can be _very_ persuasive,” you proclaim arrogantly. 

He doesn’t look convinced.

“Aww, c’mon.” You pout. “What’ve you got to lose?”

“Not much. Too much.” Sans breathes out heavily. “Sure, pal. I’ll give it a shot.”

“Awesome.” You clap your hands together. “Now, I’ll just go get our little murder machine and we’ll head off.”

“You do that. I’ve got a few things to take care of,” he says, turning his back to you and heading down the path.

“Oh. Okay, see you later.”

He waves lazily over his shoulder. Then, in between one blink and the next, he’s gone. Cool. You wish you could mysteriously teleport like a badass.

You’re just walking towards the door when the world dissolves around you.

Y o u _fall_ fly _move_ still _wait_ run _Sc_ RE _am_

And then you’re surrounded by endless darkness. You blink harshly, rubbing the side of your head. Wow, that’s trippy. You've tried a few drugs over the loops but none of them quite match up to that experience. 

Then you realise where you are.

 _“Ha!”_ you yell gleefully. “I _told you_ I’d remember!”

Gaster appears before you in all his turtleneck and gloopy jacket glory. _“So you did. Eventually.”_

You flinch dramatically. “Ouch. I’m gonna need some ice for that burn.”

You think he might be laughing at you. Hard to tell when his facial expression barely changes. His shoulders do seem to be shaking a bit, though, so you’re going to go with _yes,_ he’s laughing at you.

You made a non-existent person laugh. That’s brilliant.

He sobers. _“Your meeting with Sans did not go…quite as I had predicted. I knew he was strongly effected by his remembrance of previous resets, but to continuously kill a human who means no harm is unlike him. I must apologise for his behaviour.”_

You shake your head. “What-what is with everyone and saying sorry? I had the time of my life!” You run a hand roughly through your hair. “Everything’s so _easy_ nowadays, but fighting him.” You beam. “It was almost impossible. And hey, it helped me remember you, so it all worked out.”

_“I…I suppose you are correct.”_

You set your hands on your hips sternly. “There’s no ‘supposing’ about it. We can actually do something about Chara now, keep those timelines from imploding. Or whatever.”

 _“Corruption,”_ he says. _“When the fallen child erased the previous iteration of this world, they created an imperfect version in its place. It cannot remain stable beneath repeated resets. The code that holds it together has been subject to corruption – minor, initially, but it_ will _worsen unless the child is stopped.”_

“Is that why Sans can remember? Because of this corruption?”

Gaster looks away. _“Our machines picked up evidence of an anomaly. Timelines fluctuating unnaturally, coming to a halt entirely in some cases. We never assumed that time could be manipulated with such ease…but Sans became aware of what was happening to him. Of the memories being erased with each reset. This knowledge made him susceptible.”_

You frown. “But what can the corruption actually _do,_ other than give people memories?”

His eyes close. _“The best case scenario? The lines between dimensions will grow so thin that travel across them is a very real possibility. And there are entities out there whose sole purpose is to consume broken timelines such as this – that delicate line is the only thing keeping them out.”_  

“And…the worst case?”

 _“The total destruction of our timeline.”_  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws puns at Sans fans and hides in bunker* *desperately hopes they suffice whilst considering searching online for tips on how to pun* *as well as how the fuck to write Sans seriously dude HOW*
> 
> My posting has slowed a bit since I went home Thursday for the weekend, and I'm weirdly busy (I have a social life? Whaaat?). Still, I've got chapter 11 done and am starting on 12, so it shouldn't take all that long.
> 
> I'm glad you guys are enjoying the fic! Keep those comments coming - I love to read them, and I usually reply, especially if you have questions! It's incredibly motivating, kudos too. *hugs readers because you're all incredibly awesome*
> 
> Oh, and I'm not sure if this'll come up or not in the fic, so I'll say it here. Avery was both non-binary and asexual before the loops started. I feel it's important to note that those aspects are a part of who they are, and weren't caused by the crappiness that is the loops (though I have heard of asexuality being sometimes caused by trauma, but, yeah, that's not the case with Avery). And I get that sometimes people will use the wrong pronouns for Avery - I did it occasionally at first in my head since I'm so used to writing female characters, so make sure to let me know if I ever slip up!
> 
> Welp, I hope you liked the chapter :D


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You eat a spider doughnut. It doesn't immediately kill you, which is a nice change of pace.
> 
> (Would you smooch a Gaster?)

You grin up at Gaster. “You’re kind of dramatic, y’know that?”

He frowns at you. _“I am being perfectly serious. Whilst time and space for the most part repair themselves around anomalies, there is a limit to this. Destruction is a probable occurrence.”_

“Then it’s a good job we have a plan,” you say, idly pulling at a loose string coming from your sleeve. “Focus on the bright side.”

 _“What bright side?”_ he asks gloomily.

“Well, we have a way to stop Chara. Extract their determination and they can’t reset, right? And it’s not just us; Sans is going to help too. Speaking of.” You lean towards Gaster. “How do you two know each other? Is it another of the side effects?”

He hesitates. _“Not quite. If he has recalled any memories of me, then yes, that can be attributed to the fallen child. However, he knew of my existence previously. I was the Royal Scientist, and he was one of my assistants. He was also…my brother.”_

“Oh.” You smile sadly. “I can see the resemblance between you two.”

 _“Really?”_ Gaster chuckles. _“That surprises me. I do not look quite the same as I did before the accident. My form has deteriorated, somewhat.”_

“Deteriorated? Pshaw.” You wink and point a pair of finger guns at him. “You’re a major hottie.”

The white pinpricks of his eyes dart away and a faint purple blush spreads across his cheeks. _“I-I, um, thank you? Your level of attractiveness could be, considered, above average?”_

You burst into giggles. “Oh man, you’re adorable!”

_“Could you stop? Please?”_

You wipe away the tears in your eyes, starting to calm down before you catch sight of the flustered monster. You laugh helplessly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was just…a really great reaction.” At least he’s lightened up a little. These monsters were far too sad for your liking.

 _“Yes, well, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,”_ he says almost grumpily.

“Right, I kind of side-tracked us there, huh? You were talking about how you and Sans are brothers,” you prompt.

Gaster sighs, shoulders lowering. It seems the longer you’re here the more his expressions and actions come across to you – the more you can _see._ It’s an odd effect, to say the least. Like talking to someone on the phone as you move to a place with better reception.

 _“Was. He does not truly remember who I am, only that I was an important figure in his life. My erasure is not the same as the fallen child’s resets. All knowledge of my existence has been removed from time and space, yet relics of who I was remain. It is unsettling to see my impact on this world, but be unable to interact with it.”_ His arms cross, long fingers grasping his black coat.

The sadness in his features makes you straighten. “Is there any way to un-erase you?”

 _“No,”_ he says firmly. _“If it were possible I would’ve found a way. I have had a long time to consider how to undo my mistake – I have accepted that this is my fate. Focus on your own mission. It is far more important, after all.”_

“I…okay.” You feel the static consuming your legs. It always has an odd sense of timing, doesn’t it? You give Gaster a searching look. “You shouldn’t be so quick to give up, you know. It’ll help for a little while, but desperation always has a way of returning. A bit of hope goes a long way.”

The static covers your eyes and ears before he can respond to your words.

 

When you open your eyes Chara pokes your side.

You blink at them. “Can I help you?”

“Give me my knife back,” they demand. “There’s no good weapons down here, especially not that dumb _stick_.”

“Why do you need it anyway?”

They roll their eyes. “So I can kill Sans, duh. You’re obviously not getting anywhere, and it’s not even fun to watch now.”

“I’d say it’s pretty entertaining,” you protest. “Did you not see the way he broke, like, _every_ bone in my body?! And I was bleeding out _completely._ Heh, I would’ve stabbed myself if I thought my hand could actually manage it, I was in that much pain.”

They shift uncomfortably. “Well, I didn’t like it.”

“Really? Huh. Weird.”

They glare up at you. “ _I’m_ the weird one?! You’re the one who _laughs_ about being blasted to pieces, who thinks dying is _so cool,_ who gets up even when you should be _dead!_ What is _wrong_ with you?!” they explode.

Hesitantly, you pat the top of their head, feeling them freeze. “Uh, it’s okay. You don’t need to get so worked up over this. I’m fine, see?” You give a wide, cheesy grin and thumbs up.

Chara gapes at you disbelievingly. Then they swat your hand away and storm off.  

You smile at a gawking Flowey. “That went well, I think.”

“You have an odd definition of ‘well’,” he tells you.

“Maybe.” Shrugging, you head up the corridor after Chara. There’s no point in you fighting Sans any longer (even if you kind of want to), so all you can do is herd Chara back outside. You’re a bit wary of handing over the knife – even if Sans has been doing a good job of keeping them in the Ruins, what if this is the time they manage to kill him?

You don’t like the thought. You respect Sans; he’s a lot like you, really, stuck in a loop he has no control over. He might’ve had someone to direct all his anger (fear, sorrow) at, but he’s just as powerless. He’s interesting to talk to as well. Even if he spent most of his time disgusted by you, you liked chatting with him during your fights and, briefly, in the past two runs.

It’s rare nowadays that you meet people you don’t want to die. Flowey, Gaster and Sans can count themselves among that number, so you’ll do your best to keep them alive. Gaster might not be among the living, but you can still try to help him as much as you can. That’s what people do for the ones they care about, right?

“What happened with Sans?” Flowey asks curiously as you near the end of the corridor. “Did you manage to last a bit longer?”

You consider taking the out he’s obliviously given, before deciding against it. You know that he and Chara used to be friends (if Chara wasn’t lying earlier) so it’s likely that he’ll tell them if you let him know what you’re planning.

But at the same time, when has lying to someone ever helped a situation? He’s your friend. You won’t treat him as anything less.

“We’ve got a way to stop the resets.”

The vines around your shoulder and neck tighten until you’re sure they’ll leave bruises.

“Stop…the resets?”

“Yeah. There’s this machine that can remove determination – Chara won’t be able to load or reset without it.” You glance at Flowey. His eyes are narrowed, mouth turned down in a frown. “Right?”

“I…I guess,” he says hesitantly. “But if Chara can’t, then who…oh.” His teeth sharpen and he grins. “Clever. And he didn’t even tell-” He laugh harshly. “That’s cruel.”

“Mind letting me in on your thought process, there?”

He directs an innocent smile your way. “Oh, nothing. I just realised I should stop underestimating everyone. I keep being surprised!”

You raise an eyebrow as your head up the staircase. “That sounds a bit ominous.”

“Does it?” He giggles.

You roll your eyes. “Fine, _fine,_ be all cryptic and mysterious.”

So, Sans (and likely Gaster) aren’t telling you everything about this Determination Extraction Machine. A bit disappointing, but not unexpected.

You tend to rush into things headfirst. However, you’ll have to go against that trait; this is the kind of situation that requires a bit of thought. You don’t want to put off finally getting to die. It’s what you want more than anything. But, you hope this lab is far enough away that you can learn more about the situation by the time you get there. Even if you have to delay things a bit.

The two of you find Chara in the kitchen. They’re leaning against the counter, biting savagely into a doughnut and glaring at the opposite wall. Their irate look turns on you when you walk in, the effect ruined a bit by the crumbs on their face.

Your stomach rumbles. “Got any more of those?”

“Find them yourself.”

You shrug. “Alright.” You head towards the fridge, figuring they’re probably kept there.

It’s been a long time since you’ve eaten anything. The loops keep you from starving, and you’ve stopped eating for years at a time just by killing yourself after a few days, but you can’t say you’re a fan of that.

Sure enough, there’s a box of doughnuts on the middle shelf. You offer one to Flowey - who shakes his head - and grab the two remaining doughnuts for yourself. You sit on the floor opposite Chara and take a bite.

Your eyes widen. That’s…interesting. They’re not like any pastry you’ve ever had – too light and thin, yet at the same time strangely filling. They have a slight tang to their taste, and a buzz of energy hums through you with each mouthful. You’re much than you thought you’d be. Monster doughnuts are certainly different.

“Where’d they even come from?” you mutter. You needed yeast and oil to make them, right? So where did the ingredients come from? As far as you’ve seen, the Ruins didn’t have any granaries, and you assume the door downstairs is the only way in or out.

“There’s a spider bake sale,” Flowey says, sounding lost in thought. He’s barely paying attention to what he’s saying. “Muffet runs it. It’s how Mom-” He freezes. “Toriel. It’s how _Toriel_ gets a lot of her food lately.”

You blink. Toriel is Flowey’s _Mom?_ But…she’s a goat? And he’s a flower? How even..?

Magic, you decide firmly. It seems to be the answer to just about every question you have. Why can the flower talk? Magic. How can your soul appear? Magic. How can the goat lady shoot fire? Magic. Walking, talking skeletons? Magic. Laser dragons? Magic.

(howwhywhywhy _why_ are you _still ALIVE?_

Magic)

Chara snorts. “Smooth recovery, Asriel. I’m sure the human didn’t notice your slip _at all.”_

“Notice what?” you say airily. “I didn’t notice anything.”

They give you a frustrated glare. “Do you _have_ to ruin my fun?”

You cross your legs and lean forwards with a grin. “I’m doing quite the opposite, actually. How would you like to leave the Ruins?”

Chara’s eyes narrow. “What’re you talking about? I _know_ you can’t get past Sans.”

Your grin turns smug and you wave a hand absently. “I don’t need to. We came to an agreement. Congratulations; you’re free to go!”

“Really,” they state flatly. “Last I saw there was no _way_ he’d let me through. Now all of a sudden he’s decided to forgive and forget? Not a chance in hell.”

You look up at the ceiling in exasperation. “Why am I surrounded by pessimists?” You meet Chara’s gaze. “Trust me, alright? We had a talk, I convinced him to let you pass. All you have to do is not kill his brother - easy.” 

Chara expects a price to pay. Let's give them one. And whilst Sans might not have said anything about his brother, you doubt he'd just passively watch as Chara murders him. You've killed siblings enough times to know that. 

“Tell me that after you’ve met the guy,” the mutter. Their lips twist into a sugary smile. “I’ve been wondering when he’d return to his usual selfish personality, but I thought he’d hold out for a _little_ while longer. How’d you change his mind?”

You shrug nonchalantly. “I told him I knew a way to stop you from resetting.” You laugh. “I can’t believe he actually bought it! I’ve only been here for a few hours, technically – how would I know anything?” You don't like lying very much. Too many threads to keep untangled. But bending the truth? That's easy. 

Chara considers you for a long moment. “Stopping the resets is impossible. I didn’t think he’d be that gullible.”

“Maybe it’s a monster thing?” You say idly, not reacting to their assessing stare. _“We_ both know how easily humans can lie, but they don’t. It’s…refreshing, how innocent they are. I’ve got to say I prefer this place to anywhere on the surface.”

They study you, red eyes flickering across their face, before they give a small smile. “Yeah. Me too.”

Chara finishes off their doughnut and stands up, brushing the crumbs off their striped shirt. They sigh before looking at you. “Come on, then. You’re the first interesting thing to happen in _ages;_ you’re staying with me.”

“That’s fine with me,” you agree, standing up.

That went surprisingly smoothly. You look forward to seeing how it’ll all fall apart at a crucial moment.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Avery is a bit of a hypocrite but at the same time not? They don't lie to their friends, and Chara definitely isn't a friend, after all (yet...maybe?)
> 
> Also, finally leaving the Ruins! Yaaay. And OMG Avery stop flustering the poor monster! *head desks* I have no control over them I'm so sorry. Oh, and I'm going with the Bro!Gaster fanon because it kind of works best with this, though he's a LOT older than the skelebros and also maybe not related (I am the best planner, it is me). 
> 
> Thank you for all the awesome comments and kudos! I love to know what you think! Hopefully the next chapter will be out soon :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You see a lot of trees and snow.
> 
> Oh, and another skeleton monster. 
> 
> He likes puzzles, so you'll probably get along well.

Before the three of you leave, you insist on grabbing a few supplies.

“It’s freezing out there,” you say as you look through the wardrobe. It’s inside the first room you entered in the hallway, and seems to be for a child since there’s a small bed and a bunch of toys beside it. All the clothing belongs to kids of various sizes and ages, so either the kid is a bit of a hoarder or multiple children have used this room. You guess it’s the second one, judging by the variation in sizes.  

You’re looking for something warmer that’ll fit Chara. You’ve spotted them shivering sometimes before you get too engaged in your fight with Sans, and since you’re going to be out there for a while it’s best they get some more suitable clothing.

The only reason they’re listening to you and haven’t just wandered off is that you’re their ticket out of the Ruins. Oh, and you’re apparently their new source of entertainment.

“I’ve always been fine before,” they grumble, arms crossed as they linger by your side.

“’Fine’ is not good enough. I won’t accept anything less than ‘amazing’,” you declare brightly. “Aha!” You pull out a thicker green and yellow version of Chara’s sweater from the back of the wardrobe. There’s a bit of dust on it which you brush off, but otherwise it’s in good condition.

You hold it up in front of an expressionless Chara. “Bit too big. Wish I had my sewing kit,” you mumble.

You go to put it back, figuring you can go with it if there isn’t anything more suitable, when Chara grabs your arm. Their eyes are focused on the sweater. “It’ll do.”

“You sure? There might be-”

“I don’t care! I want this one.” They snatch the sweater from you and hold it to their chest defensively, giving you a sharp glare.

You raise your hands in surrender. “Hey, if you want that one I’m not gonna take it from you.”

A faint blush rises on their cheeks and their eyes dart away. “I-I know that.”

You smile. “Cool. Now, shorts aren’t really any good in snow, are they? Let’s see...”

In addition to their new sweater, Chara ends up with woolly tights to wear under their shorts, a knitted hat and some snow boots made to fit with an extra pair of socks. You guess a couple of kids might’ve fallen down here during winter - though how Toriel ended up with their clothes you don’t know - unless there were monster children with the same proportions and styles as human kids?

Either way, in your opinion Chara’s much more prepared for the cold climate. They give you an annoyed look but, at your insistence, they put on the clothing. Like you thought the sweater is too big for them, draping halfway down to their knees, and with enough room for them to keep the purple sweater on as well. You’re not against the extra layers, even if they look kind of ridiculous trying to roll up their sleeves only to have them fall down again.

Flowey evidently thinks so too, going by his sniggering. He’s quiet enough that a distracted Chara doesn’t hear him as they roughly pull on their new hat.

Chara throws their arms out, a heavy scowl on their face. “You happy now? I’m all _warm_ and _toasty,_ so can we _leave?!”_

“Yup!” You spin on your heel and head towards the stairs.

“Wha- I thought you said you wanted supplies!” Chara hurries after you, matching your pace in order to glare at you properly. “All you did was get me clothes!”

You give them a confused look. “Yeah. That’s all the supplies we need, right? Unless-” You scratch the back of your head. “Are you going to need food and water, too? I don’t really remember how much kids need to eat and stuff…”

“You sure you’re not forgetting something?” Flowey asks, tilting forwards to meet your gaze. “Or someone?”

“Right.” Your forehead wrinkles in concern. “Do you need anything, Flowey? I wasn’t sure if you felt the cold or not, or if it’s damaging-”     

He rolls his eyes. “I mean _you,_ idiot.”

You blink. “Oh.” You grin widely. “Nah, I’m fine. I’m pretty good with handling temperature extremes after freezing to death a few times. Though, frost bite kind of sucks…and hallucinations aren’t much fun…but it’s not really cold enough to cause that! Besides, if something happens I’ll be brought back as soon as Chara next loads.”

“What if I don’t, huh?” Chara asks cheerily. “Then you’ll just stay dead. No coming back to life for you!”

You give a wistful smile. “That’d be nice, actually. I’d love to die.”

They stare at you.

“What?”

They shake their head and turn their gaze ahead, firmly away from you. You glance questioningly at Flowey but he just lifts his leaves in an approximation of a shrug.

You sigh faintly. Strange kid.

Pushing the purple door open is a familiar motion, though hopefully this will be the last repetition. You instantly spot Sans standing in the middle of the path, watching Chara with a wary expression. At least he looks less exhausted than usual.

“Took you long enough,” he says as you walk closer. “Was starting to think you weren’t gonna show.”

Chara peers at him curiously. “You really aren’t going to attack us?”

“Nope. I’m done with that. Trying something new this time.”

Their lips quirk upwards. “Even after _all_ the times I killed poor Papyrus? Killed Toriel, and Undyne, and Mettaton, and-”

His eyes narrow on them. “Yeah. Even then.”

They give a laugh of delight, clapping their hands together and spinning to face you. “I don’t know what you said to him, but it must’ve been something _special._ Or maybe…” They smile at Sans. “You really did give up?”

They skip towards him. “Aww, was killing the poor human too much for you? Did it eat at your resolve, breaking them like that, time after time? Or did you enjoy it?” They tilt their head, grin widening. “Did that _scare_ you, how much fun you had?”      

He would seem unaffected by Chara’s taunts in not for the clenching of his fists. You decide to speak up before he decides this is more trouble than it’s worth.

“Well, _I_ had fun, at least.” You move past Chara and slightly in front of them so that Sans focuses on you. You beam at him. “We’ll have to do that again sometime. Maybe I’ll actually win for once!”

He considers you for a few seconds before he grins. “Dying for a rematch, are ya?”

“My track record would agree with you, yes,” you say with a nod and a sheepish smile.

He shrugs. “Maybe. Guess we’ll see.”

“Great!” Chara exclaims sarcastically. “Glad that’s sorted. Can we go now?”

Go? You look down the path behind Sans and a wide grin breaks across your face. How could you have gotten distracted from the fact that this is a _new place._ You’ve only seen the small area around the Ruins door, nothing past that. There could be so much stuff!

You turn to Chara, your excitement making you bounce slightly. “Yes, yes, YES we can go! C’mon!” You grab their hand, keeping your grip loose so they can pull away if they want to, and start down the path at a pace just short of a jog.

(Their nails bite into your hand for a moment before they relax, small fingers grabbing yours tightly.

You don’t give any indication of noticing)

Disappointingly, there’s just a lot of trees. Don’t get you wrong – you like trees and all. You’d have a go at climbing these ones if the branches weren’t too thin to support your weight (and might try even then). And they look pretty cool in that dark, creepy way, towering high above you and creating an atmosphere of claustrophobia despite how open the area is.

But they’re not, well, all that interesting.

Chara notices your disappointed slump. They sigh gustily. “Hey, Sans. Did you chase away every entertaining thing around here? Usually I would’ve stumbled across a few monsters by now.”

“Everyone’s keeping to themselves today.” You start at his sudden appearance at your side, hands in his pockets and shoulders tense. “Figured you didn’t need the temptation.”

“But that’s _boring!”_ they whine, swinging your hand. “And it’s not like I can kill anyone when the human still has my knife.”

There’s a slight stutter in his stride. The white pinpricks of his eyes flick to you. “You had a weapon all this time, huh?”

You blink at him. “Well, yeah. Chara tried to stab me with it so I took it away. Getting stabbed isn’t fun.” Especially the stomach. It took you a while to bleed out from that one.

He looks surprised for a moment before he smirks at Chara. “They took away your knife? What’re you, a misbehaving kid?”

They glare at him. “I can get it back whenever I want!”

He snorts. “Sure thing.”

“I can!”

“This is so weird,” Flowey mutters.

“What is?” you ask, tuning out Chara’s protests and Sans’ disbelieving remarks.

He waves a leaf. _“This._ Seeing them act…almost like a normal kid. I haven’t seen them like that since, well, before they possessed Frisk.”

“They’re…possessing someone?” You heard the name ‘Frisk’ before when Flowey was insulting you for not being able to get past the monsters in the Ruins, but you haven’t given them much thought. You’ve been a bit too busy for that. “Like a ghost?”

“More of a demon,” he answers quietly. “Chara was dead. They took over Frisk’s body a while ago. I don’t…I don’t know if Frisk is even still there.”

“Is there any way to find out?”

“You could just ask me.” Chara pulls their hand out of yours and increases the distance between the two of you. Their face is wiped of emotion.

“Okay.” You shrug. “Is Frisk still there? Yoohoo, Frisk!” You wave a hand at Chara, before placing it above your eyes to shadow them as you peer into baffled red eyes. “You playing co-pilot in there? Or are you more of the backseat driver type?”

A giggle escapes them, which they hastily stop. They put on a scowl. “Stop being such an idiot.”

You straighten up and give a forlorn sigh. “I’m afraid I can’t, it’s just who I am - and I must be true to myself.”

“You could bear to be a little _less_ true to yourself,” Flowey grumbles. “Give us all a break.”  

Sans side-eyes you. “You always this weird?”

You cover your face dramatically. “Nooo don’t gang up on me! That’s so unfair! Why isn’t there anyone in _my_ corner? I need someone to defend me from you bullies!”

“SANS!”

You jolt at the loud voice, dropping your hands and looking around for the source. “Who-”

Whilst you weren’t paying attention, another skeleton-monster had run up the path towards your little party. He’s a lot taller than Sans, and is about as anatomically correct as the other skeleton you’ve met, though his proportions are much thinner and longer. The red scarf (which is more like a cape on him) is the same material as Sans’, and he also wears red boots and gloves. The blue briefs with a golden belt along with black sleeves on his arms, legs and…spinal column, earn an eyebrow raise. That’s quite a sense of style there.  

“Sup, bro?” Sans gives an idle wave, despite the way he’s just about shaking with tension.

You glance at an irritate-looking Chara. Oh. So this is the brother Chara thought would be the cause of Sans’ selfishness. He’s Gaster’s brother too, isn’t he? Well, they certainly share each other’s height.

You nudge Sans’ shoulder with your arm, feeling him jump and sensing his gaze on you. You flash a grin his way before focusing on the other skeleton. Papyrus, isn’t it?

“You know what ‘sup’, brother!” he exclaims angrily. “It’s been eight days and you still haven’t-” He stops. Though you can’t see any pupils like Sans has, you can tell he’s looking from you to Chara and back again. It’s odd, similar to how you can understand Gaster’s expressions, but not quite as apparent.

“Sans,” he begins hesitantly, before he erupts with excitement. “Is that a human?!” he asks, pointing at Chara.

“Yeah. Sure is,” Sans says resignedly.

“Wowie!” He cups his cheeks, eyes all but glittering. “Even without puzzles of the calibre of my own you managed to capture a human! I am very proud! If, also, rather confused. Ah,” Papyrus nods wisely. “I understand. Your change in outfit must have resulted in a similar change in attitude!”

Sans smiles fondly. “That’s gotta be it.”

“Then! We should alert Undyne and bring her the human, so that they can be taken to the Capital! Where! Something will happen, I guess.”

That doesn’t sound good. You don’t know what monsters would want with a human, but you kind of need this specific one. Glancing at Chara’s impatient expression you doubt they’d go along peacefully, either, knife or no.

“You capture humans with puzzles?” You ask quickly.

“Of course, strange monster who I have never encountered before!” Papyrus says, hands on his hips. “How else would we defeat our opponents than with finely crafted puzzles?”

“In that case.” You grin broadly and step forward, lifting one arm up. A distraction and some fun all in one. “Hey there. I’m Avery, the most human-y human of them all.”

His eyes widen. “Sans! You managed to capture _two_ humans?!”

You raise an eyebrow. “Do I look captured to you?”

Papyrus seems to frown, his eye sockets narrowing and his own perpetual grin shrinking slightly. “Well, I suppose not, human. I must rectify this!” He points at you dramatically. “Prepare yourself! For you shall soon face masterful puzzles! Bemusing japery! All concocted by the Great Papyrus, soon to be Royal Guard!” he declares, cape fluttering.

Then he spins around and bolts. “Nyeh heh heh heh!”

You turn to Chara and ask incredulously, “How could you ever hurt _him?”_

“What?” Chara draws back, looking shocked.

You throw your arms out. “He’s adorable! What, do you throw bags of kittens into rivers in your spare time, too? C’mon, Chara.” You shake your head. “You’re better than that.”

Chara flinches like you just hit them. “I’m not, and you’re an idiot if you think so.”

You look at them in confusion. “For thinking…you’re better? Of course you’re better. Everyone can be better than the person they are now. You just have to try.”

Then you blink. “Flowey, why are you hiding behind me?”

Flowey slowly emerges from his place hanging on your back, casting nervous glances over at Sans. “J-just keeping a promise.”

“Damn right,” Sans mutters.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm I'm pretty unsure about this chapter. Kind of feel like the characterisation is a bit off. I might come back later and edit it.
> 
> Still! We have now officially left the Ruins, and won't be seeing it again for a while! I might try doing a short bit from other characters' POVs than Avery's, if I think I can do them justice and if it fits well. 
> 
> Let me know what you guys think of the chapter!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of walking and talking. 
> 
> S'about it.

You look between the two of them. Flowey avoids your gaze whilst Sans grins back. “That was weird.” You glance at Chara. “That was weird, right?”

They ignore you. You guess they didn’t like your comments on their behaviour much. That’s fine. You were just being honest. You do think anyone can be better if they set their mind to it. What else can you think when you’ve seen both the worst and the best people can be, with so little prompting?

Never mind what _you_ can do. Then again, were you ever a particularly good person in the first place? It’s hard to remember that far back, and you guess it doesn’t matter all that much. All that counts is the person you are now.

“Let me down,” Flowey abruptly demands, looking uncomfortable.

“Sure.” You crouch down near the trees and watch as he sinks into the snow. Sans and Chara are just out of earshot when you lower your voice. “Any reason why?”

He scowls at you. “I got fed up of your shoulder. It’s too…uh, high.” He cringes.

You smile bemusedly. “Okay. I’ll try to work on that. You’ll be alright in the snow?”

“I’ll be fine!” he exclaims, crossing his leaves. Then he smiles cheerily. “Have fun babysitting Chara and that trash bag. I’m sure _nothing_ will go wrong.”

You shrug, scratching your cheek. “Yeah, I guess it’s pretty likely something bad will happen. But at least it’ll be interesting.”

“I’m keeping my distance either way.” He shudders. “Those two…let’s just say I don’t envy you.”

“Huh?” You glance back at the two behind you. They’re staring at each other with matching fixed grins. You chuckle. “Looks like one hell of a party to me.”

He snorts. “Of course it would. I’ll check in later to see if you’re still alive.”

“Aww, thanks!” You beam.

Flowey rolls his eyes and disappears into the ground.

You stand up, brushing a hand through your hair. You guess that this is the delay you were hoping for. A chance to learn more about the Determination Extraction Machine from Sans, and hopefully keep Chara interested enough that they don’t reset. You don’t think they will – not now that they’ve finally made it past Sans – but you can’t be sure. It’s not like you know the kid particularly well.

Maybe you should rectify that.

“Hey, Chara,” you say as you head back over to them. They don’t say anything or look at you, even if they match your pace when you begin walking down the path again. You sigh.

“Mind telling me why you’re messing with my bro?”

You think blue is your favourite colour nowadays. The cyan shade is glowing at your threateningly from Sans’ eye, and he’s taken one hand out of his pockets so that you can see the wisps of magic twisting around his fingers. It’s a cool effect, you have to say. A good way to remind you of how much he can hurt you. It’s just too bad for him that you don’t really feel fear, or care about pain.

You smile. “I’m not. Messing with him, that is.”

“Right.” The blue fades, leaving behind a flat blackness. His grin twitches wider. “You’re just gonna do all his puzzles for fun, huh?”

“Well, yeah. I like puzzles,” you say, unperturbed. “Is Papyrus good at them?” You hope so.

He blinks. White pinpricks study you. “’course he is.”

“Awesome. The ones is the Ruins were a bit too easy, y’know?” You pout. “Plus I missed a tonne of them thanks to Flowey.” You never did get a chance to go back, did you? If everything goes well you never will, either. You guess it’s an acceptable loss.

“You didn’t miss much,” Chara pipes up. They’re staring resolutely ahead, voice dull. Still, at least they’re talking.

“Yeah? Any favourites?”

They shrug slightly. “The ones in Hotland are okay.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Hotland?”

A small smile flickers across their face. “The king isn’t very imaginative.”

The three of you cross a short bridge, easily passing through the widely spaced bars set on it. You wonder why they’re there in the first place since they’re so ineffective. Maybe they’re meant for something larger than you.

On the other side of the bridge is more snow and trees, the pathway continuing on. You briefly examine an oddly shaped lamp as you pass it, and a small wooden station. Is it like a kind of ranger’s tower, keeping an eye out for lost monsters? Or maybe for humans wandering out from the Ruins, since Papyrus seems so keen on capturing  them.  

“What’s this place called then? Coldland?” you propose.

So there’s a king, huh? You’ve seen so few monsters that it’s odd to think that there’s an entire civilisation here. You don’t even know how far away Alphys’ lab is. Instead, you have to rely on Sans to guide you there, unless you can find out some other way.

You consider asking around. You’d have to get away from Chara for a while in order to do that, but maybe you can distract them with something. You’d rather they didn’t kill anyone, of course. Still, if that’s the only way…

“Nothing as silly as that,” Sans says. You glance at him questioningly. His grin widens. “S’called Snowdin.”

You laugh, containing your giggles enough to say, “That’s amazing - I love this place.”

“It’s pretty cool, I guess.” Sans looks up at the clouds. “Nothing compared to the surface though, right kid?”

Chara tenses and crosses their arms. They paste a wide smile on their face. “Yep! The surface is like _nothing you’ve ever seen._ Oh, wait.” They giggle. “You never will!”

You stare at Chara. “Wow. Way to go for the throat, Chara.”

They beam at you. “Interesting comparison. Maybe if you gave me my knife back I could do it _literally.”_

You roll your eyes. “Fine.” You reach into your pocket and pull out the toy knife, before holding it out, handle-first, to a gaping Chara. “Take it if you want it so much.”

“You sure ‘bout that?” Sans asks warily.

“Yep.” You jiggle the knife. “Here you go.”

They examine you. “Why are you giving it back? You know I’ll just kill someone.”

“Or, you could, you know – _not._ Just a thought.”

What is with this kid and killing people? Maybe they just haven’t been around long enough for it to lose its fun factor. They’ll get bored of it eventually, if they haven’t already. They have to realise that, right?

Slowly taking the knife from you, Chara frowns. “You won’t be able to stop me.”

You’re pretty sure you could. You’re physically stronger than them, faster too, and you doubt Sans will be leaving Chara alone any time soon either. Their time powers don’t matter when they’ll just be trapped in the Ruins. If they did manage to get past Sans then that leaves the rest of the Underground for you to explore, and one human to hunt down.

If you ever die and aren’t brought back, well.

It’s win win, really.

You shrug. “I know. But that’s got to be boring by now; killing the same people over and over again. Surely their reactions don’t change that much?”

“…not really,” they admit.

“Then try something different.” You wave a hand. “Make friends with everyone. Solve all their problems. Learn to solve their problems better. Care so much it hurts. Then…start over again.”

“That what you did?”

You tilt your head at Sans. “At first. I started to run out of new people to help. Besides, it can be kind of hard to relate to people when you’re over a hundred years older than they are. Or, something like that, anyway.” You chuckle bashfully. “I kind of lost track a while back. How long’s it been for you guys?”

He scrutinises you carefully. You smile back.

“Sixty-five resets, don’t know how many reloads,” Sans replies idly. “Only started remembering since the fifty-sixth, so I might be a bit off. Can’t say it has much on you, huh?”

Only sixty-five. Oh. You thought it would be more than that.

(You cried a lot during your sixty-fifth loop, you think.

Or maybe you killed a lot.

Probably both)

“So what’s remembering like?” you ask happily.

His smile strains. “Wouldn’t recommend it.”

“Why can you remember, anyway?” Chara frowns at him as they tap their knife against their thigh. “You could never recall what happened before I created this world. And now suddenly you know about every reset in all timelines.” They peer at him. “What did you _do?”_

“Absolutely nothing. S’what I’m best at, right?” He winks at them.

“Maybe it’s the same reason I’m here,” you offer casually. “Or maybe reality is unravelling. Who knows?” You shrug in an exaggerated motion.

You’re distracted from Chara’s suspicious look by the sheet of ice you spot ahead. It makes you think of an incredibly hazardous round-a-bout; there’s three paths leading off from it, not including your own, with a patch of snow and a wooden sign in the centre. You waste no time in flinging yourself at it with a gleeful grin.

Somehow you keep your balance, skidding along the ice with your arms out until you trip and face plant onto the snowy middle. Feeling two stares on your back, you raise your arm and give a thumbs up. “M’okay!”

You push yourself up, brushing off as much snow as you can. That was fun. It’s probably not a good idea to let yourself get so distracted all the time, but you can’t help it. It’s the only reason you’ve survived all these years without going completely insane, after all.

If you start thinking too much…well, that never ends well for anyone.

When you spin around only Chara is standing there. Your eyebrows furrow. “Where’d Sans go?”

Chara raises their shoulders nonchalantly as they step onto the ice. They take practised, steady steps across it to you. “He didn’t say. He’s probably gone to make sure there’s no monsters around.” They smile flatly. “I’m surprised he let his brother so close to me. I’d have thought he would be more cautious than that.”

“Well, you didn’t kill Papyrus.” You peer down at the sign. It indicates that Snowdin Town is to the east, whilst – you chuckle – there’s just “ice” in every other direction. Obligingly, you slide off to the east, flailing slightly to keep your balance. “Why would you want to kill the guy, anyway?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” They grin at you. “Killing is so much fun.”

“Gonna have to disagree with you on that one. It gets old after a while.”

“You said…” You look at their hesitant expression. “You said you’ve been resetting for over a hundred years. Did no one else remember?”

You stuff your hands in your pockets. “Nope. Just me.” You laugh quietly. “I guess I’m kind of jealous of you, Chara.”

“Jealous? Of _me?”_ they say incredulously. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“I’m not.” You keep your eyes on the snow and trees ahead. “You get to control it _and_ you have people who remember. I’d…I’d have given a lot for that, when I was younger.”

“…and now?”

You pull your lips into a wide smile. “Now I’m just trying to have some fun. This place should keep me going for a while.”

They let out a huff of air. “It gets old faster than you’d think.”

“Yeah? Maybe you just need to see things from another perspective.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You grin. “Figure it out. You’re a smart kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *flails tiredly* Here, have a chapter. I'm gonna go hibernate for a while.
> 
> Hope everyone's in character as much as I can manage. Bit of a slow chap, but there's information and character dynamic and stuuuuuff I need to get across. Oh, and I might change how long the resets have been going on for, later. 
> 
> Uhh think that's about it. If you have any questions feel free to ask, and I love to hear what you guys think. It's really motivating :) Thank you for all the feedback and kudos so far. I'm glad it seems you guys are liking Avery, I get kinda worried that they come off as a bit of a Mary Sue. 
> 
> *shrugs* Welp, I'll try to update as soon as I can.


	14. Chara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chara doesn't know what to think of the human.
> 
> (Frisk thinks they're funny)

This knife isn’t the one you want.

It’s so weak in your hands – you can bend it under a little pressure, the plastic giving way beneath your meagre strength. When you press it to the skin of your forearm nothing much happens. A red line forms on your arm, blood seeping sluggishly from the sound, but that’s it. It’s hard to believe such a feeble weapon can cause so much damage to the monsters of the Underground.

They’re so weak, really. You have nowhere near the amount of LV as you do typically when you reach Asgore, yet you can take them down with ease. Here, you’re strong.

But not strong enough. You grimace at the door before you, tightening your grip on the knife. You don’t know how it happened – how could you not _know?_ – but Sans’ behaviour has changed. He started acting odd a few resets ago; he never greets you at Snowdin, he's not at his stands, and for a couple of resets he didn’t even show up at the Judgement Hall. Then, when he did…you couldn’t beat him.

You don’t know why. He’s strong, yes, but you can beat _anyone_ given enough tries. You loaded again and again and _again,_ all in an effort to memorise his attack patterns – attacks you thought you’d memorised long ago. But they kept changing. He seems to adapt to your attacks at the same pace as you did to his, and you lost count of the number of times he killed you. He has the advantage of distance, whereas you have to get close to even put a scratch on him. And you always miss.  

It’s no longer predictable and neat; dependent on your ability to dodge at the correct time and strike when his guard falls. It’s no longer a fun _game._

And now you’re trapped in the endless monotony of the Ruins. He doesn’t even let you out anymore, fighting you the second you step outside. You hate it. You hate this place, how you know every inch of it and have killed every monster.

Killing Toriel is a chore. You don’t even bother speaking to her – you just cut her down on your way to the basement. Her expression of shock never changes. How many loads ago did that occur? You’re losing track.

With a steadying breath you push the door open. Your body shivers in reaction to the cold as your eyes dart over the treeline. His first attack is almost always the same. You step out onto the snow, and your – _it’s yours now_ – soul forms before you.

You dodge the blast fired at you, as well as the two following. You adjust the knife so it sits more comfortably in your hand, bending your knees in preparation. You’re fast – not as fast as you would be if you’d had chance to collect more EXP, but fast enough to escape at least several waves of Sans’ attacks.

Your lips twist into a wild grin as you search for him. He likes to look you in the eye when he kills you, you’ve found, so you doubt he’ll stay hidden for long.

Sure enough, as a row of bones spike from the ground you catch sight of him on the path ahead. It’s the red scarf around his neck which makes you think he remembers more than the vague recollections he had before. He never gives you the standard script or even talks to you anymore. You would be excited by the changes if he weren’t trapping you here.

“Just let me pass, Sans,” you say as you dart out of the way of another blue beam. It ruffles your hair. “You’ve given up, remember? What do you care if I hurt a few monsters?”

You run towards him, twisting around the bones shot your way and knocking aside those you can’t dodge. “Maybe this time I’ll even be good. It’s been a while since I didn’t kill everyone in my way.”

“Not taking that chance, Chara.”

You jolt at the sound of your name, eyes locking on his. The blue light in his eye socket glares back at you. You gape. “How do you-”

You scream when a bone spears through your side. It sends you flying back, and you land heavily on the ground. Tears gather in the corners of your eyes as pain lances through you, but you force yourself upright again. You still have your knife.

Sans trudges over to you, his hands in his pockets. It irritates you that he doesn’t see you as a threat.

“Lucky shot,” you comment snidely, blood gathering in your mouth. You spit it into the snow. Then you lunge at him, a wide grin stretched across your face.

He watches you listlessly as he sidesteps your swing. “Try again.”

You register the blaster forming just in front of you a split second before it fires.

 

You yell in frustration, kicking at the door. It hurts – _obviously_ – and you glare furiously at the ground. You can’t get past him. It was a lucky shot, sure, but you’ve tried and _tried_ and you just _can’t._

You clench your fists. You’ll reset. Kill all the monsters, and come back. It’ll make you feel better.

_Will it?_

You flinch at the faint voice. “Shut up, Frisk.”

_You can’t keep hurting everyone. Please._

You punch the wall. The pain flickers through to Frisk, and you sense them cringe. They’ve been getting louder, more aware lately – that’ll teach them what a bad idea that is.

“You handed over the reins to me, remember? You don’t get to tell me what to do,” you say harshly. This soul and body is _yours,_ now. You can do what you want.

_…I know. But, it’s not making you happy either, is it?_

Your eyes widen. Then, you give a short hysterical laugh. “What are you talking about?” You throw your arms out. “I’m having the time of my life!”

You reset.

 

The first plate smashes satisfyingly against the wall. You keep throwing them until there’s none left. Then you move onto the book shelf, grabbing books and tearing their pages from them. You like the sound they make, and crumple up some of the pieces into little balls. The rest you just drop, letting them float gently to the ground.

You make your way through most of them before you get bored. The idle destruction helped to soak up your rage, but frustration still buzzes through you. You’re sick and tired of trying to get past this _dumb skeleton._

Wasn’t he getting fed up with the same routine? Why not let you past, let you have a play around? It’s not like it counts, anyway. You’ll just reset, and he’ll have his precious brother and friends back, all perfectly unharmed!

_Sans won’t hurt the people he loves. It’s…it’s not something you’re supposed to do. It’s wrong._

You burst into laughter. “Really, Frisk? Can you get any more hypocritical?” You grin sharply. “Don’t forget who woke me up. If you hadn’t gotten _all_ that LV, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything! You’re the one who caused all this!”

_I know. I know I did, and I accept that, but I can’t let you keep hurting them! Please, stop Chara! Just- just stop!_

“Why would I stop?” You storm down the corridor, scowling at the bright walls. “And what do you mean _let me?_ You sold your soul to me – it’s mine now!”

You halt abruptly. You can’t move. Your breathing speeds up as you strain against the force keeping you still. It takes a moment for you to realise it’s _Frisk_ holding you in place.

“Stop that,” you demand, voice shaking. “You can’t do that. You can’t!”

Your body turns so that you’re looking at your reflection. But it’s not your reflection, is it? It’s Frisk’s.

_P-please, Chara. You can change too, I know it! You just have to try._

Your eyes are red. They’re a darker shade than _your_ eyes, but they’re close. They’re enough.

You seize control back from Frisk, shoving them to the back of your head. You can’t hurt them, but you can hurt yourself.

Your fist smashes into the mirror, shattering the glass. Frisk cries out from the pain and you grin viciously. You look into your eyes. There’s only you there now.

“It’s me,” you say firmly. “It’s still me. It’s me-”

“Hello, Chara.”

 

The human is…weird.

They’re the first human you’ve seen since you were on the surface, apart from Frisk. Your memories of the humans in your village are hazy, but you know they were nothing like this one.

You rest against the wall of the Ruins, watching as they fight against Sans. Only it’s not really a fight, is it? The human refuses to hurt him. They don’t even try, simply dodging his attacks with a joyful grin that never falters, even when the attacks make contact. They barely seem to notice. They’re _enjoying_ it.

You thought you understood, at first. You like fighting the tougher monsters; it makes victory all the sweeter. But the human is fighting without any intent of injuring Sans – and they’re having fun. They talk to him as well as you and Flowey, making dumb comments about clouds and snowball fights. They never get frustrated or angry; the closest you’ve seen them to that is when you first met them.

You shiver slightly. You hate how powerless they made you feel in that moment, quickly disarming you and lifting you so easily. You felt like they could do whatever they wanted to you, even though you _knew_ you could always reset and escape them.

You’ve watched for any hint of that sort of anger since. There’s been nothing. They apologised to you, looking genuine as far as you could tell. You didn’t trust it. They’re probably just pretending to be a nice person.

_Why would they pretend?_

You shift. So they can hurt you again, obviously.

_Maybe they don’t want to hurt you?_

Don’t be so naïve, Frisk. They’re a human – of course they want to hurt others. It’s in their nature.

_Then why do they refuse to attack Sans? They’re really strong, aren’t they? It’d be easy for them._

This brings you up short. _Why_ won’t they kill Sans? You know they said something about not liking killing, but that can’t be it. There has to be more.

_I…I don’t think there is, Chara._

“Who asked you?” you mutter quietly.

The human manages to do a kind of stumbling cartwheel out of the way of some bones, and they give a delighted laugh. You fight down the smile twitching across you face.

You hear Frisk giggle. _They’re kind of funny, aren’t they?_

You vehemently disagree.

 

You watch the sleeping human. They’re slumped on the floor against the wall, breathing slowly. You’re sure it must be uncomfortable but they seem happy enough to just lie there. They fell asleep within seconds even though you’re only a few metres away. You can’t think of anyone else who’d feel safe enough in your presence to do that.

Well, not just your presence. Asriel is looking at you warily, and after a long moment he climbs out of the earth in exchange for the human’s lap. You laugh.

“Are you going to protect the human from the big, bad Chara?”

“I know you’re scared of them, and I’m scared of _you_ – seems to me that this is the best place I can be,” he says simply. You’d buy his act if not for the way he’s trembling.

You ignore the guilt that surges through you, smothering it with familiar anger. It’s Asriel’s fault he’s a soulless flower and you’re dead, not yours. If he’d just followed the plan, everything would’ve gone fine. All the monsters would’ve been on the surface and the humans would be dead.

“You don’t forgive me for killing you all those times? Oh, I’m _sorry_ Asriel. I’m just so stressed these days.” You smile sweetly. “I’m sure you understand.”

“I do. I get it, really. Hurting your best friend makes total sense.” He hums thoughtfully. “Didn’t you hunt me down specifically these past few times? I’m honoured.”

You look away. “You should be.” You don’t want to talk about that. “So, why are you following this human around anyway?”

Asriel gives you a sceptical look, but doesn’t draw attention to the abrupt change in subject. “They’re the first new thing to happen to the Underground in a long time. Of course I’m gonna stay with them.”

“I don’t get what’s so great about them,” you mumble. Then you wince at how pathetic that sounded.

Asriel shrugs. “They’re interesting. Hard to predict. It’s better than just watching you kill everyone.”

“Did they tell you anything about these ‘loops’?”

His eyes flicker over your curious expression. He begins hesitantly, “I thought…I thought you were causing them at first.” He grimaces. “I guess that’s why they weren’t too happy to see you.”

You give a stiff smile. “That makes sense.” You remember the sharp anger in the human’s eyes as they easily held you up, how they barely react to physical pain and were so numb to the idea of dying. Just…how insane were they? Had resetting so many times really broken them that much?

_Is that how we’ll be?_

“It must be more fun up on the surface,” you say idly. “So many more people to kill!”

His eyes drift to the side. “Chara…don’t you think you’d get bored of it after a while?” Before you can answer he shakes himself. “Ha ha, what am I saying? Of course you wouldn’t.”

You plaster on a grin. “You know me too well.”

 

The froggit collapses into dust. You had to hit it a lot with a stick you found, but it eventually did the job. You really need to get your knife back.

_How…how long have they been resetting?_

You don’t know. How are you supposed to know? Frisk should keep their stupid questions to themselves.

_Sorry. It’s just- they’ve killed people. Like us. And they stopped-_

You snort. That’s what Frisk took from that? “They’re a murderer. We should be scared.” You keep walking through the Ruins, hoping to come across another monster. You killed a lot on your way through but you’re sure there are a few remaining.

_If they were going to hurt us, I think they would’ve done it already._

How are they so sure? The human could just be playing with you. Dragging it out so they can hurt you when you least expect it.

You get the impression that Frisk shakes their head. _They said they’re our knight._

You laugh faintly. You’re certain that was a joke, if anything. Besides, since when were humans dependable or loyal, or whatever knights are supposed to be?

The human might be good entertainment for a while, though. You’ll let them keep fighting Sans, however futile the effort is, and you’ll find out what you can about them. Then, when you get bored, you’ll see how much fun killing them yourself is.

Just how nonchalant will they be about a knife carving up their insides?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I had a go at a Chara POV chapter after watching a really cool AMV based on a Genocide run. Not sure about how it turned out, but I hope you liked it anyways! I'll likely end up doing a Flowey and a Sans POV at some point, too. 
> 
> Also, can I just apologise for how I somehow managed to turn the two major antagonists into tsunderes? It really wasn't my intention...god damn it Avery. I'm blaming you for this. 
> 
> I love reading your comments, and thank you for all the kudos! So close to 200 now, ahh.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You do a puzzle. Sans goes a little crazy. 
> 
> Chara is a brat.

Once again you’re saved by a distraction, this time in the form of two skeleton brothers.

When Chara abruptly stops you do too, even though there’s a relatively large area left between you and the monsters. You peer at the snow, wondering if there’s something underneath it. You don’t really want to step on a mine again. Getting your legs blown off wasn’t pleasant.

“Humans!”

You look up at Papyrus and wave. “Hi.”

“Hello to you, as well, human!” He waves a hand to the area between you, holding a glass ball in the other. “In order to stop you, my brother and I have created some puzzles! I think you’ll find this one…” He beams. “Quite shocking! For you see, before you is the invisible electricity maze! When you touch the walls of this maze- what are you doing?!”

Chara shoots Papyrus a glare as they walk around what you guess is the edge of the maze, keeping far to the right. Then a sweet smile forms on their face. “I’m already captured, remember?”

Papyrus straightens in realisation. “Yes! I almost forgot, smaller human, thank you for reminding me! Now!” He turns and points at you. “In order to pass you will need to navigate this dastardly maze! Should you touch the walls this orb will administer a hearty zap, which will hurt, quite a bit! Or so I am told, anyway.”

You shrug. “I’m game. Trial and error, huh?”

“Exactly!” His grin widens. “Okay, you can go ahead now.”

You blink, then gesture at the orb in his hand. “Uh, you still have the zappy orb. I thought I was supposed to hold that?” You hear a disappointed sight from Chara.

Surprise flickers across Papyrus’ face, and for a moment he looks lost in thought before he wipes it away with a smile. “Oh! Of course, that is correct.” He heads towards the edge of the maze then pauses, bone brows lowering. “If I throw the orb will you be able to catch it, human? I assure you my throwing skills are nearly as great as my puzzle skills!”

You prepare yourself, lifting your hands. “Sure thing.”

He throws the orb to you and you barely catch it, raising up onto your tiptoes to grab it out of the air. It hums faintly. You tuck it under your arm and give him a thumbs up. After a moment of hesitation he returns the thumbs up enthusiastically.

“Okay, try now!”

You’ve been electrocuted to death before. It was one of the deaths you tried out of curiosity – after all the safety videos in school cautioning you about the dangers of electricity, how could you not?

It wasn’t a very fun death. You felt nothing at first, and then all of a sudden pain rushed through every nerve, spiking through your chest and sending your heart stuttering. Your senses cut out – you couldn’t see or hear or feel anything except that agony.

The voltage wasn’t high enough to kill you instantly, so you were frozen in place, suffering, for who knows how long. It took you a good few loops to consider repeating that experiment.

When you step forwards and encounter the wall, it’s nothing like that. A momentary jolt runs through your body, leaving behind a tingling sensation, and that’s it. It makes you give a surprised laugh.

“You okay there?”

You wave off Sans’ concern. “I’m fine! Just, figuring it out.”

You don’t think that Papyrus is the kind of guy who’d make an impossible puzzle. So there has to be some trick to this. There’s no indication in the snow as to the right path, and even though you could take Chara’s route that’d just be cheating.

Shuffling a little to the left, you start forwards, tensing in preparation for the shock. Nothing happens. It seems you found the correct path through sheer luck. You’re alright for another two steps before the orb electrocutes you.

Okay, so what’s different about the right way and the wrong way? You can’t see where the walls are, so how are you-

You face palm. “Wow, I’m dumb.”

“Human? Why are you injuring yourself? Please, if the puzzle is too much for you to handle, do not take your frustration out on yourself!”

“I’m good, Papyrus.” Just stupid.

You close your eyes. When you actually listen for it, you can hear the orb giving off a faint buzzing sound. As you turn on the spot the sound gets louder- then quieter, until it’s almost silent. You move in the direction of the quiet, your steps becoming more confident as you go longer without being shocked.

You open your eyes when you hear slow, sarcastic clapping. Chara is looking at you, unimpressed. “You finally finished. Yay.”

“There is indeed a cause for celebration!” Papyrus declares. He gives you a proud look. “Although it took you some time to solve the puzzle, you managed it in the end! Hmm, I would like to reward you with spaghetti- smaller human, do you have a knife I could use?” He watches Chara with an unexpectedly serious gaze.

Chara gapes at him. “…a knife? Why would-”

“Never mind!” He grins widely. “Of course a fork is far superior to a knife, in any situation, really! But now is not the time for spaghetti. No, you have many more puzzles to face, taller human! And the next puzzle will not be so easy!”

“You can just-” He runs off. You slump. “-call me Avery. But taller human is fine too. Very accurate.” You blink down at the orb before looking over at Sans. “So, do I keep this or will he be wanting it back?”

“I’ll take it.”

You hand it over and he puts it in his pocket. Somehow, it manages to fit. Wait, where did it come from in the first place? You didn’t think Papyrus has any pockets on him…

Oh, right. Magic.

Sans shifts uncomfortably. “Uh, thanks, by the way. For doin’ these puzzles. I’d…I’d kinda forgotten how excited he gets about them.”

You grin. “No need to thank me. I haven’t seen anything like this before, and those shocks weren’t even fatal!”

His brows lift. “’course they weren’t. He doesn’t wanna kill ya.”

“What about Undyne? And whoever’s at the Capital?”

He shrugs, smile shrinking. “They’re a bit less friendly than my brother, ‘specially Undyne. I’d stay outa her way if I was you.”

“Okay. That’s not very reassuring.”

So this Undyne was going to be an obstacle. She’s one of the monsters Chara mentioned killing, right? If it comes down to it hopefully they’ll be able to do so again, or you’ll just have to break your no-killing streak.

You have all the time in the world to figure out ways past her, but you don’t know if you’ll be able to keep Chara interested long enough to get them to the lab. You’d just tell them about it if you didn’t think they’d be too suspicious to go with you. They can’t know what’s going to happen – they’d just load or reset. Maybe you could knock them out when you get near, but you have no idea what that would do. It could automatically cause a reset, or they might wake up at the worst moment, or it could even kill them.

For now, you’re happy to go along at this pace. Chara hasn’t indicated they’re fed up with you yet, and as long as you’re more entertaining than murder things will work out.  

Sans winks, not seeming to notice the calculating look flickering through your eyes. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. I’ll keep an eye socket out for ya.”

Chara trudges over to you, quickly wiping off their impatient expression in favour of a happy smile. “It’s been a while since I bothered with doing those puzzles, hasn’t it?” They blink up at the two of you innocently. “Frisk might like them, but _I_ think they’re just a waste of time. What’s the point of putting off killing Papyrus? It doesn’t make any difference whether he’s _happy_ before he dies, or not.”

You play with a stray thread as you see Sans’ eyes go dark. Why does Chara always have to taunt him? You understand that seeing what reactions you can get out of people is fun, but you’ve found that being nice to them always has the best results.

You don’t feel any sort of compulsion to be a good person, and it can be hard to figure out the right thing to do – still, you’ve noticed that you tend to be happier when other people are happy. So maybe it’s selfish. That’s fine. It works for you.

Sans takes a step towards Chara. “Want to keep enjoyin’ the fresh air? Don’t threaten my brother.”

“Why do you even care?” they ask curiously. “You never used to do anything before I got to the Judgement Hall, and even then you’d only fight me if I killed enough monsters.” They sway from one foot to the other. “You act like you care _so much_ about Papyrus, but do you really? You don’t get to act like the noble big brother. Not when you’ve let him die countless times. Not- _ack!”_

Chara jerks into the air a few feet above the ground. Sans’ arm is extended as he glares coldly at them, one eye shimmering with the same blue that wraps around Chara’s red soul. Pain flickers across Chara’s face as they struggle.  

“You really wanna know?” he asks softly. “Maybe I could ignore it when it was just nightmares and flashes of another timeline. Didn’t feel real, y’know?” He gives an empty chuckle. “And then, all of a sudden, it _was._ I was every Sans who got left in the dark, who saw everyone run for their lives only to be slaughtered, who died time and time again trying to stop _you.”_  

He grins darkly. “Kinda has an effect on a guy.”

You stare. God damn it Sans, you’re supposed to be the sane one.

You clap your hands loudly, gaining the attention of both monster and child. You smile brightly. “Why don’t you put Chara down, huh? I think you’ve made your point.”

He snorts. “Give it a rest, pal. You can’t stop ‘em from killing everyone from here to the Throne Room - they’ll just figure a way ‘round you, if not through ya. Least my way I can contain the damage. It’s the best anyone can do.”

Your smile doesn’t falter. “Shut the fuck up, Sans.”

You walk over to Chara, placing an arm under the back of their knees and another around their shoulders so that you’re supporting most of their weight. Their startled gaze meets your own.

“You can let Chara go now, Sans.” You look into his wide eyes. “I’ve got them. Trust me a little, okay?”

For a long moment he doesn’t do anything. You wonder what he’s thinking – if he’s considering just killing Chara and sending you both back to the Ruins. You’d just keep on fighting him until you broke past him, alive or not. In a contest of will, you know you’ll win. You’re practically moulded for patience, after all.  

He sighs heavily. “Hope you know what you’re doing.”

Chara drops slightly into your arms, and they quickly grasp your sweater when you shift in place, adjusting your hold. They don’t weigh much at all, really.

You grin at Sans. “I never know what I’m doing. It’d be no fun if I did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over 200 kudos! Yaaay! *gives hugs to anyone who wants one* 
> 
> These chapters are pretty slow, but eh, hopefully you guys like them. The Chara POV seemed to go down well so I'll probably do another, from someone else's POV, soon. It's interesting seeing things from someone else's eyes. Avery rarely takes anything seriously, or for long, so it's different to see what other characters think.
> 
> Here's to hoping they're all in character and I haven't messed them up beyond all recognition! X)


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You give Chara a piggy-back ride and manage to freak them out.
> 
> It was only a matter of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: discussion of murder-y things

In the space of a blink Sans disappears, leaving behind a pair of footprints in the snow. You’re surprised he listened to you. He must be as desperate to stop the resets as you are, if he's actually trusting you to stop Chara from hurting anyone. Or maybe that doesn't matter to him as much as ending the resets does. 

Chara grumbles at you to let them down. You quickly do so, carefully setting them down. They brush away the crumples in their sweater and refuse to meet your gaze.

“You alright?” you ask. Their soul has returned to their chest and they don’t seem injured, but you’ve got an idea of how much being held up like that hurts.  

“I’m fine,” they say shortly. They glance at you from the corner of their eyes. “Amazing, even.”

You give a surprised laugh. “Well, that’s good!” You straighten up, before frowning slightly. “Is taunting him like that really worth it? He could’ve killed you.”

They shrug. “I’d just load again. Anyway, it’s the best way to get information out of someone. Make them angry and they let things slip.”

You tilt your head. “Really? I’ve found that being nice to people works much better. Maybe that’s just me, heh.”

“Guess it is,” they say flatly.

You examine their dull expression before coming to a decision. You spin around and drop into a crouch. “Okay, it’s piggy back time!”

“…what?!”

You peak over your shoulder at Chara’s baffled face. You awkwardly hold your arms out behind you. “I was pretty clear there. Piggy back rides always made me feel better when I was a kid.”

They cross their arms. “I don’t want one. And I’m not a kid!”

You snort. “Yeah, you are. Come on, you’ll get to be taller than people for once!” you cajole.

They seem to be arguing with themselves, expressions flickering rapidly across their face. They take a half-step forward, before they give a resigned look. “Okay, okay! Stop it,” they mutter, almost too quietly for you to hear. You raise an eyebrow but don’t say anything. Could they have been talking to Frisk? You don’t know how this whole possession thing works.

They shuffle closer to you. “So what do I do?”

“Just wrap your arms around my neck-” you wait until they do so, leaning against your back in order to reach “-and I’ll take care of the rest!” You hook your arms under their legs and lift, standing up as you do so.

Chara yelps, grasp tightening until they’re almost strangling you. “I’m gonna fall!” they wail. “You’re gonna drop me!”

“I-I’ve got you.” You wheeze for breath. “You’re not going to fall.” You squeeze their legs gently. “See?”

You wait several seconds. Slowly, their grip loosens. “Oh.”

You chuckle. “You alright up there?”

“Yes,” they say quickly. You feel a weight on the top of your head. Is that their chin? You don’t think your skull is very comfortable, but whatever floats their boat.

“Onwards!” you proclaim to give Chara some warning as you start off. You feel their fingers pull at your sweater slightly. Other than that, they’re doing good. A bit light, though. Have they not been eating enough? Or maybe it’s just how their body is? You wish there was a doctor or something you could ask – you’re not exactly an expert in this sort of thing.

You look around. The treeline has retreated to form another open area, snow rising in small hills and making it a bit more difficult for you to trudge through it. You’re glad you decided to give Chara a lift; if it’s tough for you, it’d be much harder for the shorty.   

“Do you really just kill everyone?” you ask curiously.

“Yes. Why?” they ask lightly. “You’ve killed more than your fair share of humans.”

“Well, yeah, but I stopped when it didn’t serve a purpose anymore. When it wasn’t- fun, I guess.” You chew your lip. Describing how you felt when you realised the loops weren’t ending…it’s not easy. Hurting others was just another thing to keep you occupied, after a while. “There’s only so many reactions you can get. I guess you haven’t gone through them all yet, huh?”

They shift. “I…maybe. I don’t know. I thought I had; that’s why I destroyed the previous world completely. Then, Frisk-” Chara cuts themselves off. After a few seconds they continue, “This new world is different.”

“Yeah? How?”

One of their feet lightly kicks your side. “Well, you’re here. Another human is a big change in script,” they say teasingly. “Then there’s the fact that Sans remembers. And, I think other monsters do too. If only a little bit.”

“Really?” you say, intrigued. “That’s cool. I’ve never had anyone remember the things I do. Like, I once murdered this guy’s entire family, cut off their faces, and strung them up outside his house. I was getting revenge for how he cut me to pieces this one time, man, that sucked. Still, handy way to learn that there was a serial killer in the neighbourhood.

“Anyway, it was pretty hilarious how he broke down completely on his lawn! You wouldn’t expect a guy like that to care so much about his family, but he must’ve. It’s hard to fake crying that well. Then, next loop I got paid to babysit his kids, and they gave me a bit extra because I played a bunch of board games with them.” You smile. “Nice kids. The girl – Jenny, I think her name is – totally _owned_ Monopoly.”

Chara is very quiet.

“You okay?”

 _“Still think they’re funny?”_ they whisper frantically. They twist your sweater tightly between their fingers.

You blink. “Um, what?”

“Nothing! Nothing at all, ha ha!”

Frowning slightly, you try to get a look at their face. When you see their shaky grin you put on a warm smile. “Hey, you can calm down. I told you I don’t kill people anymore, remember? Besides, you haven’t even given me a reason to kill you!”

“That’s…that’s not very reassuring.”

“It isn’t?” You chuckle. “Ah, sorry. I didn’t think you’d be bothered by things like that.”

They scowl at you. “I’m not bothered. I- I’ve done worse.”

“Really?” You grin. “Same!”

Chara gives you a blank look. “What is _wrong_ with you?”

You hum thoughtfully, trudging through a deeper section of snow. “A lot of things. I never got around to being properly diagnosed – I figure it doesn’t count if the psychiatrists don’t know the loops are real.”

“Psychiatrists?”

“People who diagnose and treat mental illnesses. I’ve seen _lots_ of those whenever I stick around my family; I’m not very good at keeping up the act for long, and eventually something leaks through. It can be kind of nice to just spill everything to a random stranger. But,” You shrug. “I don’t think they’re really up to dealing with my level of issues. I could be wrong. Still, I like being outside where I can actually interact with new people.”

You make your way up a hill and spot Papyrus sitting on the ground, scribbling furiously on a piece of paper. Sans stands nearby, looking like he’s barely holding in laughter.

He sees you first, and raises a brow. “You get tired or something?”

“Piggy back rides make you feel better. Apparently,” Chara says sullenly, and you feel their cheek against your head as they turn away slightly.

“He’s just jealous you’re much taller than he is,” you say, grinning at Sans. “Isn’t that right?”

“In a test of height there could only be one winner!” Papyrus jumps up, standing as straight as possible. “It would be me, of course! Now, human, I am afraid that the puzzle crafted by my brother is far too difficult for you to handle.” He flourishes the piece of paper. “Even I, the Great Papyrus, have some trouble with this most mind-boggling of puzzles! But fear not, it shall not best me for long! Nyeh heh heh!”

Chara snorts. “It’s just a dumb word search.”

You brighten. “Ooh, I love word searches! Can I see?”

He considers you. “Hmm, I suppose there’s no harm in getting another opinion.” He goes to hand it over when he realises you can’t take it unless you want to drop Chara. Instead he holds the word search in front of your face so that you can read it.

You’re briefly surprised that it’s a kid’s puzzle, before you start trying to solve it. A few of the words have already been circled in red and crossed out. There's a doodle of Papyrus standing proudly in the corner, his cape twirling behind him, wearing a shirt that says "Royal Guard". The sight of it makes you grin before you focus on the word search again. 

It doesn’t take you long to realise that the puzzle _can’t_ be solved.

You give Sans a flat look. “Really? An impossible puzzle?”

He shrugs at you, grin widening. “If it’s too much for ya don’t _letter_ get you down.”

“Weak,” Chara comments.

“I thought it was pretty humorous,” you disagree. Then you blink. “Wait, no, _humerus._ It was pretty humerus. Which…you probably would’ve assumed I meant if I hadn’t corrected myself.” You hang your head and sigh. "I am my own downfall."

Chara squawks in protest at the movement. You hurriedly lift your head up again. “Sorry.”

“Sans! Is what the taller human says true?” Somehow, Papyrus manages puppy eyes despite having only a pair of eye sockets to work with. It’s quite impressive. “Is this puzzle really unsolvable?”

Sans looks away, sweat forming on his skull (is it sweat? Can skeletons sweat?). “Uh, ‘course not, Pap. Wouldn’t be a puzzle if you can’t solve it, right? Must’ve printed out wrong or something, that’s all.”

“In that case, this puzzle is most definitely not suitable for capturing the human!” Papyrus scratches his chin. Through a glove, to a chin made of bone. Wait, can they feel with their bones the same way you can with your skin?

You nudge Papyrus’ leg with your foot. “Can you feel that?” you ask him.

He blinks at you. “Well, yes. Of course I can.”

“Interesting.” Does their magic allow them to do so? It’s probably what’s holding them together, after all. Then again, it’s not like they’re actual skeletons – if someone compared human bone to theirs it wouldn’t have the same composition. You think.

Wait. No. Bad Avery. You had your scientist phase, remember? And did that end well? No.

“I promise not to experiment on you,” you tell Papyrus solemnly. “Well, not without consent,” you add in a mutter.

“Um. Okay?” Papyrus gives you a confused look. “I’m glad to hear it?”

“You have more puzzles to set up, right bro?” Sans says quickly, pointedly stepping closer so that he’s slightly in front of Papyrus.

“Right! I shall see you at the next puzzle, humans!”

Sans waits until his brother is out of earshot before shooting you a dour look. “What the hell was that?”

You smile innocently. “Nothing. Nothing _at all._ I’m completely normal.”

Chara knocks the side of your head. “You’re a terrible liar.”

You laugh. “Guess so.” You shrug at Sans. “I’m not going to do anything to Papyrus. Cool your jets, brother complex.”

Chara starts snickering whilst Sans gapes at you. “I don’t- I _don’t_ have a brother complex.”

You shrug as you start walking again. “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

There’s a growl behind you and an irritated, “What does that even _mean?”_

“Inappropriate use of literature to make a point.” You click your tongue. “Get with the times, Sans. It’s all the rage these days.”

When you don’t hear anything in response you assume he’s teleported away. You’re proven both wrong and right when he flickers into existence at your side, making you jump and almost drop Chara, who isn’t too pleased with you. Their tighter grip makes you wince momentarily.

You return Sans’ smug glance with an eye roll. “You’re a dick, Sans,” you inform him plainly.

“So’re you.”

You concede to that point. “True.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you forgot that Avery wasn't a morally good person :D 
> 
> I can't pun but I'm trying? Hopefully dark humour will make up for it. This fic is more than full of it, after all. 
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! Seriously, they're ridiculously motivating, and really make me consider where to take the story. I hope I'm portraying all canon characters okay :) 
> 
> Have an awesome day! (however much of a day you have left when you read this haha)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're good at making things awkward, aren't you?
> 
> (stop being creepy darn it)

“You sticking around again, then?” You ask when Sans shows no signs of leaving.

He raises his shoulders casually. “Got nowhere else to be. ‘sides, I figure you might like some help watching the kid.” He smirks. “Seems you’ve got it handled, though.”

“This is surprisingly comfortable, okay?!” Chara protests. They fold their arms on top of your head and, judging by the extra pressure, flump their chin down.

Sans sends them an incredulous look. “Didja hit your head, or something?”

“No. Shut up.”

“Is that..?” You peer ahead, spotting two tables with a microwave on top of one and a plate of spaghetti on the other. The spaghetti has frozen over; it must’ve been here for a while. And, well, you can’t exactly heat it up with a microwave that isn’t connected to a power source. Unless it’s powered by magic, but even in that instance the plate is stuck to the table.

“This didn’t change, at least,” Chara says. They sound almost relieved.

You see a note left on the table with the spaghetti and lean over in order to read it.

_‘Human!! Please enjoy this spaghetti._

_(little do you know, this spaghetti is a trap…designed to entice you!!!_

_You’ll be so busy eating it that you won’t realise that you aren’t progressing!!_

_Thoroughly japed again by the Great Papyrus!!!)_

_Nyeh-heh-heh,_

_Papyrus’_

Standing upright, you can’t help the grin spreading across your face. “That’s adorable. I’ve never seen anything written on a piece of paper that was so adorable. Sans, if I wasn’t planning on dying I would steal your brother. Fair warning.”

Sans blinks at you. “Uh.”

“Planning on dying?” Chara says sharply. “What does _that_ mean?”

You start moving again, feeling a bit disappointed that you can’t eat the pasta. Maybe you could ask Papyrus for some non-frozen spaghetti later? If he didn’t succeed in capturing you with puzzles. Since, you know, you’d just be dying (temporarily, sadly) in that scenario.

“I want to die,” you say simply. “But I can’t because of your resets and, previously, my loops.”

“Why would you want to die? You can do anything!”

“I already _did._ That’s the problem.”

“But- but you said you wanted to explore the Underground, right?” Chara gives a half-hearted laugh. “It would be a bit hard to do that if you were dead.”

“That’s what I’m doing. It doesn’t mean I want to die any less.”

Chara doesn’t seem to know what to say to that, whilst Sans shoots you a few looks but keeps quiet. You idly hum to disrupt the silence.

Okay. So you managed to make things awkward. Oops. You're usually better at the whole, social interaction thing. Then again, you normally lied your way through the vast majority of conversations so that people didn't pick up on just how messed up you are.

You haven't really bothered with that down here. You like being honest. It feels...cleaner, you guess. Everything that happens here is suddenly permanent; even if the majority will forget what you do or say, at least four won’t. The thought makes you feel giddy and the ache of loneliness lessens a little.  

The tree line falls away until you're in an area where the ground just drops down into steep cliffs on either side. When you peer over the edge, hanging back more for Chara's sake than your own, you just see more forest and snow. The view doesn't go on for very far thanks to the way the ground rises up into a hill, whilst on the other side you make out the dark purple of the cave wall.

It gives you a bit of an idea of the size of this place, and you wonder how on earth this is all underground.

The wind sends you hair flying about your face. You feel Chara shiver. “Oh jeez, sorry for taking so long! You must be getting cold.”

“’m fine,” they say, voice muffled.

“Do you want my sweater? It’s not much, but it might help a bit.”

“No. Just hurry up.”

You frown slightly. “Okay, if you’re sure…”

“The kid’s chilled to the bone, huh?” Sans observes. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t sound like he cares much.

You eye him curiously. “What about you? Can you feel the cold?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. Goes right through me.”

You laugh. “I bet it does. Us poor humans don’t cope so well with extreme temperatures, right Chara?”

“You seem fine,” they say grudgingly.

You twitch your fingers. They’re stiff and barely have any feeling to them, but it’s not cold enough to worry about frost bite. You haven’t been out here even nearly long enough to be seriously affected by the cold. The benefit of experience and a good immune system.

Chara, on the other hand, is a lot younger and weaker than you. You don’t doubt that they’ve managed the trip to Snowdin plenty of times before, without the extra clothes and your body heat too, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for them. Maybe you could get them some monster food; it made you feel a lot better earlier.

You wonder how Flowey is dealing with the cold. You haven’t caught any glimpses of him as you go along. He could be taking a look around the Underground; you got the impression he stuck near Chara usually, so he might not’ve seen it in a while.

It isn’t a difficult leap to make that his ‘promise’ was about keeping away from Papyrus, so maybe you won’t see him again until you’ve done all the puzzles. You miss him. He was the first person you met who remembered, and you like talking to him. Hopefully he’ll show up soon.

“I’m always fine,” you say with a grin. Then you look at Sans. “Do you know how far off Papyrus is? Getting out of the cold is probably a good idea.”

His eyes flick from Chara and back to you. Then he sighs faintly. “I’ve got a short cut that’ll take us right to him.”

“No need to look so grim,” you say, smile widening when Sans snickers. You wonder how much of human culture had filtered down here over the centuries, or if things like the Grim Reaper have been around long enough that it was part of the culture monsters shared with humans at one point. You’re really going to have to interrogate Sans at some point and get your answers.

“So, how does this shortcut business of yours-” Your current scenery flickers out of existence in favour of another large snowy area “-work,” you finish weakly.

“Kinda like that,” he says, and you catch a flash of cyan in his eye.

“Magic is fucking awesome,” you state. “I am incredibly jelly. Oh,” You wince. “Never using that word again. Not that I wouldn’t make an incredible gelatinous dessert, but it doesn’t quite convey my level of envy.

“Sorry to say, Chara, but bending time and space to your will doesn’t quite match up to teleporting.” You pat Chara’s leg pityingly. They kick you in return.

When you actually pay attention to your surroundings, you see Papyrus blinking at your little gang. “I was not expecting you to arrive so quickly, human! You must be eager for more fantastic puzzles! But first, I must ask, how did you manage to escape my trap?”

You shrug. “Well, the spaghetti was frozen to the table so I wasn’t able to eat any…” At Papyrus’ devastated look, you continue, “Do you think you could make some more, later? I’d love to try it.”

He beams at you. “Why of course, human! It would be far too cruel of me to not share my culinary prowess, especially with someone who came so close to such a tantalising meal, yet was denied it by the elements and bodily limitations!”

“You’re going to regret that,” Chara says mockingly. “Papyrus is a _terrible_ cook.” Their voice is soft enough that Papyrus doesn’t hear, though judging by Sans glare he definitely does.  

You grin sheepishly. “He can’t be any worse than me. I’ve lost count of the number of kitchens I’ve set on fire. Anything more complicated than a microwave meal always ends in disaster.”

Cooking was an activity that never really held your interest. You tried to get better at it for the sake of something new to do and master, but you invariably failed at whatever dish you attempted. After a short while you started testing just how badly you could mess up instead. That period of the loops was responsible for more burns and cuts than you can count.

“What’ve you got lined up next?” you ask Papyrus curiously. There’s a lot of snow gathered oddly around the area, and large blue X’s placed randomly on the ground around the snow piles. Blocking off the pathway ahead is a row of spikes. Is this like the puzzles in the Ruins?

“You were taking a while, so I decided to improve this puzzle by making it look more like my face!” he declares, adding in a mutter, “Though you did arrive before I could finish…Anyway, the snow froze to the ground and changed the solution! But, fear not, human! For I, the Great Papyrus, will solve this conundrum!” His cape billows magnificently in the sudden well-timed breeze. You would clap if your hands were free.

“We could work together, if you like?” you offer. “It’d be more fun that way.”

“Good idea, human!” He turns to his brother. “Sans! Perhaps you and the smaller human could also provide aid? Or, you could just. Stand around. Like usual,” he says, his words belied by his fond tone.

Sans wipes away his confused look in favour of a wider iteration of his usual grin. “Sounds like fun, bro.” His eyes narrow on Chara. “What d’you think, kid? Up for some puzzle-solving?”

“It’s not even that complicated,” Chara grumbles. “I don’t get why- okay, fine. Stop begging, it’s pathetic.”

They must be talking to Frisk. Well, at least you definitely have confirmation that Frisk is still around. What must it be like, to have someone else controlling your body? You imagine it’d be pretty unpleasant, though you guess they would’ve gotten used to it after so long. Can Frisk even still move their body, or is it all Chara now?

You twist your head in order to give Chara a grin, though they can only see one side of it. “Do you want to stick up there and direct me around?”

Chara snorts. “Sure.”

“Okay. Where to, boss?” You pause and look at Papyrus. “How does this puzzle work, anyways?”

“You must step on all the X’s so that they turn into circles! Like so.” He stomps on an X and it changes into a red O. “However!” He raises a finger. “You cannot step on it more than once! So, for the puzzle to be solved, all the X’s must be stepped on in a certain order! It is quite ingenious, if I do say so myself!”

He points dramatically at Sans. “You may have the first try!”

Sans shrugs. “Sure thing.” He walks over two X’s before turning around and walking back over them. They switch to green triangles. He meets Papyrus’ exasperated look with a sheepish raise of his hands. “Guess I’m too much of a bonehead to figure it out.”

Papyrus groans, though he seems a bit relieved. “Just when I began to hope you had given up on your puns, they make a return! Even though I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard that one…”

“I’m empathising with Papyrus,” Chara says, their voice flat. “Could today get any worse?”

“You could be watching your intestines get picked on by crows whilst you slowly bleed to death after being impaled on an iron bar?” you offer. Not the most fun death. You really felt like you should’ve died more quickly, but somehow you hung on to life despite _really_ wanting to die. “Never underestimate the resilience of the human body,” you impart your wise advice with a solemn nod.

“That…that would be worse,” Chara says faintly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, just copying dialogue isn't fun. I tried to switch it up a bit in these chapters, but I figure I have to keep to some of it. Hopefully it's still entertaining!
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More dastardly puzzles.
> 
> Chara taunts Sans a lot. How adorable.

After resetting the puzzle, Papyrus directs you to have the next go. The way it's set up makes it difficult for you to know where to step without ending up with at least one triangle. You could do it easily if you just step _over_ the piles of snow, but that doesn’t seem to be solving the puzzle very fairly.

When you inform Chara of this they just sigh at you. “Fine, we’ll do it the _proper_ way.” Unlike Flowey, they don’t tug at your hair to give directions, though when they think you’re moving too slowly they do kick your sides. It’s more amusing than annoying.

You’re surprised by the fact that Chara manages to get you to turn all the X’s into O’s on their first try. “For someone who doesn’t like puzzles, you’re pretty good at them,” you say as you come to the last couple of X’s.

“I better be. Do you know how many times I’ve watched Frisk do this?” You practically hear their eye roll. “I don’t know why they bothered.”

“Fun?” You glance at Papyrus’ wide smile. “To make him happy?”

“Those are dumb reasons.”

“Why?”

“Because-” Chara struggles. “They just are.”

You chuckle. “Not the strongest argument there. So, I just step on this tile, right?” You do and the spikes sink into the ground.

“Wowie!” Papyrus exclaims. “You solved it, and you didn’t even need my help! I’m very impressed with the two of you! You must love puzzles as much as I do!”

“I think you have us beat on enthusiasm, but yeah, puzzles are pretty awesome,” you say.

“Pretty awesome? I assure you, they are fully awesome!” he insists. “I’m sure you’ll love the next puzzle too. It might even be too easy for you!”

You bow your head with a lopsided grin. “That’s high praise. We’re flattered, aren’t we Chara?”

“Sure are. I’ve never heard a finer compliment!” they exclaim sarcastically.

Papyrus either doesn’t pick up on their tone or decides to ignore it. “You are very welcome, humans! I shall go ready the next puzzle!” He hurries over the spikes and out of sight, thanks to the way the ground slopes downwards. You guess that Sans has teleported ahead to join him since he’s no longer nearby.

It doesn’t take you long to catch up to the two skeletons; they didn’t exactly go very far. Between you is a platform of squares in various grey shades, from almost-white to nearly as dark as the blackness on either side of the snowy path.

You raise an eyebrow. “Does this puzzle involve dancing? Because I’m terrible at dancing. I’m a very proficient sway-er, but that’s it.”

“Of course not! Although, a dancing puzzle does sound intriguing,” Papyrus says musingly. Then he points to the machine next to him, which looks like a metal box with buttons on it. Not the most streamline of technology. “This puzzle was designed by the great Dr Alphys!”

You jolt at the name, barely paying attention as he explains how this puzzle works. Dr Alphys. Owner of Alphys’ lab, you’re presuming? If Papyrus knows them, you should be able to get the location of the lab out of him. Maybe you could even ask him to introduce you to Alphys, who would be able to tell you how the Determination Extraction Machine works, since Sans and Gaster evidently weren’t filling you in on everything.

Of course, you could just _ask_ Sans. But it doesn’t hurt to have a backup plan.

“…finally, pink tiles! They don’t do anything. How's that?! Understand?”

You blink at him. “Um.”

“Yes! Yes, we understand,” Chara insists.

“Great! Then there’s one last thing. This puzzle,” he pauses dramatically. “Is entirely random! When I pull this switch it will make a puzzle that has never been seen before! Not even I will know the solution! Nyeh heh heh! Get ready!”

He pulls a lever on the machine, and the grey tiles start flickering a variety of colours. Which, ow, your eyes are not prepared for - especially when they speed up. You close your eyes to spare them from the flashy nightmare.  

When they stop you’re relieved, slowly lifting your eyelids just in case the puzzle isn’t done randomising yet. You raise an eyebrow at the wide pink line, bordered by red. Pink is the colour that doesn’t do anything, right? That’s…suspiciously lucky.

Papyrus droops with a heavy sigh. “I don’t know what I expected…” He shakes his head and pops upright again with a determined smile. “No matter! There is still one more challenge you have yet to face, human!”

You’re getting used to him speeding off after making a declaration. It’s certainly one way to make an exit.

When you reach the other side of the platform Sans is waiting for you.

“Got a question for ya,” he says, moving into step beside you.

“Shoot.”

“You’re doing all these puzzles…what happens when they’re over?” His eyes meet yours, grin widening. “’cause, welp. If you’re planning on fighting my brother.” The white lights go out. “Don’t.”

You huff in exasperation. “What did I do to earn such a terrible reputation?” You continue more seriously, “I made a promise not to kill people anymore, and that extends to monsters too.” You don’t break promises. If there’s one thing you’ll stick to, that’s it.

Sans shrugs. “Can’t blame me for worrying. You’ve got a pretty intimidating soul, there.”

You give a short laugh. “Says the guy who’s murdered me a few dozen times. I’m the one who should be scared, really.” You frown slightly. “At least, I think that’s how it works.”

“You’re not scared, though, are ya?”

“Nope. I don’t feel fear all that much anymore. The worst you could do is kill me and, ha, we’ve already done that song and dance.”

He considers you. “What about pain?”

You tilt your head. “Hmm, nah, I’m good with pain too. I won’t seek it out or anything, but it doesn’t bother me much.” Is he trying to figure out your weakness? That’s cool, you’ve never had anyone do that before. He’s not very subtle though. Still, you try to think up something for him.

“I’d hate to be completely alone,” you say musingly. “Cut off from everything, nothing but the silence to keep me company. That’d suck. Screaming only helps so much, y’know?”

He seems unnerved by your words, gaze darting away from yours. “Better than you’d think.”

You watch him curiously. In one of those timelines he remembered, had he been left alive whilst everyone else was killed? You’re about to ask when Chara speaks up.

“What are you going to do when Papyrus attacks you?” they ask, poking the side of your head. When did they become comfortable enough that they weren’t half-strangling you? “You won’t have any choice but to fight back.”

“Frisk managed to talk him out of it plenty of times,” Sans says lightly. “Too difficult for you to manage, Chara?”

“Too _boring,”_ they spit. They continue cheerfully, “It’s so much more fun to watch as he keeps believing I could be _good_ right up to the moment when I cut him in half!” They giggle. “And even after that! He has to be the most pathetic monster I’ve ever met, to not even put up a fight!”

“Well!” you say brightly before Sans can respond (or conjure a Gaster blaster, as he seems likely to do judging by his dark eye sockets). “We won’t be doing any killing today. Friendship bracelets and high fives all around!”

“Do you have to be so dull?” Chara complains.

“Hey.” You pout. “Friendship bracelets are awesome. They last for years _and_ they’re super stylish. I’ll teach you how to make one, if you like.”

They scoff. “That’s pointless. Who would I even give it to?” They seem to regret saying that, going by their hurried, “Not that it even matters. I wouldn’t want to anyway.”

You shrug. “Okay. I’ll just have to make enough so you can have one from me, and give some to whoever you want.” You glance at Sans. “Do you think Papyrus would like one?”

He eyes you before nodding. “Yeah. Sounds like the kinda thing he might like. So long as you’re not stringing him along on being his friend.”

You beam. “Of course not. I love making friends.” You look to the sky (well, ceiling) in thought. “I’ve got a few different types of thread in my pocket – should have some red, definitely green and purple. I might have to buy some from…somewhere.”

You tend to keep a bunch of thread on you so that you have something to play with if you get stuck. Like the time you managed to 127 hours yourself, and without your switchblade to boot. That got boring fast, and jeez, you’ve never had a worse headache. The hallucinations were a relief at that point.

“Sounds like a waste of time,” Chara mutters.

“But a fun waste!” you say brightly.

“I don’t-”

The snowy path ahead of your abruptly switches to another, much thinner path; it’s barely a few metres wide, leaving your right side rather close to the drop off point. Chara’s opinion on this change is apparent in the way it’s suddenly a bit more difficult to breath.

 _“Why did you do that?!”_ they hiss.

“Didn’t mean to cut you short, kid,” Sans replies with a wink. “I didn’t manage to clear everyone out this far, and I’m not risking having you around them. You’re a bit of a safety hazard.”

“But you’ll risk your brother?” Chara says scornfully.

“Never seems to work out when I try keeping him away. Least this time, I’m here too.” He grins at them. “You wanna try hurting him? I’ll be happy to send ya right back to the Ruins.”

“Oh look another puzzle we wouldn’t want to keep Papyrus waiting let's hurry!” You stride towards the long rope bridge, where Papyrus stands on the other side.

It sways unsteadily beneath your feet, and you can’t grab the hand rail thanks to Chara. Thankfully, you have a good enough balance that you don’t topple over the edge. On the other hand, you poor sweater is being put through the wringer by Chara’s grip.

The bridge creaks warningly as you walk. You spare a moment to hope it won’t collapse beneath you. Hopefully Chara’s made a save point since the two of your left the Ruins – you don’t really want to return to repetition. The fights with Sans were never truly tedious when each time you died in a different way, lasting long and learning how to better dodge his attacks. Whilst you like Papyrus, hearing the same words over again would make him a lot duller.

“Don’t you dare fall,” Chara commands.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Okay, now you’re a bit tempted just for the sake of seeing their reaction. You exercise a great deal of restraint by not plunging headfirst of the bridge. Chara should be very grateful.

“Human!” Papyrus shouts when you near him. Sans has evidently taken another short cut to his side. “This is your final and most dangerous challenge! Behold! The Gauntlet of Deadly Terror!” 

A variety of contraptions appear. A cannon and two spears point threateningly at you, whilst a flame-thrower already billows with fire. Above you is a spiked ball on a chain, and a…dog hanging form a rope? It looks happy enough.

“When I say the word, it will fully activate! Cannons will fire! Spikes will swing! Blades will slice! Each part will swing violently up and down! Only the tiniest chance of victory will remain! Are you ready?!”

You shift on your feet, feeling the bridge sway beneath you. “Uh, could I drop Chara – also known as smaller human – off first?”

“Of course, taller human! Go ahead!”

You hurry to his end of the bridge and crouch down, feeling Chara drop off your back. When you turn to them they’re giving you a disbelieving look. “You’re not actually going to attempt it, are you?”

You shrug. “Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because it will most likely _kill you?”_ says Chara, exasperated.

“Hmm. That is a good point.” You scratch your cheek. “It’s a good thing I’m so used to dying, then.”

Before they can say anything you spin around and jog back onto the bridge, stopping at the start of the ‘Gauntlet’. The flamethrower warms your side as you pass. You give Papyrus a thumbs up and an eager grin. “Ready!”

“Good! Because! I! Am! About! To do it!”

You wait patiently. Does it take a little while to set up, or something? Or maybe it’s psychological. Trying to get to you with the tension.

Then you catch sight of Papyrus’ conflicted expression. You call out in worry, “Are you okay?”

That only seems to make it worse, unfortunately. His gaze darts from you to the contraptions, and he frowns. You wonder what he’s seeing. Can't he sense your LV like everyone you’ve met so far? If he did, he wouldn’t hesitate, right? It doesn’t matter if you get hurt.

“Well? What’s the holdup?” Sans prompts.

Papyrus shakes his head. “Holdup? What holdup? I’m…I’m about to activate it now!”

Nothing happens.

“That, uh, doesn’t look very activated.”

“Well! This challenge, it seems, may be too…easy! Yes, it may be too easy for the human!” He plants his mittens on his hips. “Nyeh heh heh! It’s hardly even a puzzle, after all! We can’t use this one! I am a skeleton with standards! My puzzles are very fair! And my traps are expertly cooked! But this method is too direct! No class at all! Away it goes!”

You straighten up, feeling a bit disappointed. It looked like it’d be a lot of fun, even if you’d most likely die a few times trying to pass it. On the other hand, the two skeletons and human display varying levels of relief.

Were they actually…worried about you? Your insides twist at the thought.  

“Phew!” Papyrus exclaims nervously. “What are you looking at?!”

You try to quell your amusement but don’t quite manage it. “You’re a really great guy, Papyrus, y’know that?”

Against all laws of biology, you make a skeleton blush orange. “O-of course I know that, human! But, I thank you for noticing anyway!” His cape starts to billow. “This was yet another decisive victory for Papyrus!” He sprints off before you can get a word in.  

Heading back along the bridge again, you ask, “Are there any more puzzles?”

“No. That was the last one before…he’ll try fighting you,” Sans says hesitantly.

You blink. “Fighting me? Oh.” You laugh. “The gauntlet thing makes sense now. Although, it wasn’t exactly thrown, was it? And since he didn’t activate it, wasn’t it technically retracted?” You eye him curiously. “Does that make you his second, and Chara mine? Or,” you add musingly. “Maybe Flowey would be a better second, since he doesn’t seem to loathe my entire being.”

He examines you for a few seconds. You feel obliged to wave. He snorts and says, “Say, you wanna get something to eat before you head out to face Papyrus? Lemme make it up to you for killing ya.”

Chara scoffs and gives him a mocking smile. “Is Avery’s life really that cheap to you? Wow, I suppose now we know your opinion of humans, huh? Or maybe it’s just _this_ human. You’ve killed them so many times, after all, and they didn’t even put a scratch on you!” They lean closer to him. “Why not let them get a little retribution? I think that’d be a better way to make it up to them.”

You blink. “Um. No, food is good,” you say, startling the two out of their staring match. Jeez. When are they going to get that you don’t like killing? It’s not that hard a concept to understand, is it?

“Great.” Sans gives Chara a flat look. “You’re not invited.”

They glance at you. Hopefully they’re assuming Sans wants to speak to you about removing Chara’s ability to reset, believing that you’ll just make something up. Meanwhile, you _would_ actually be discussing how to do so. That’s the only reason you’d imagine Sans would dare leave Chara to their own devices, at least.

Chara crosses their arms. “Are you certain you want to set me on poor, defenceless Snowdin?”

He smirks. “You wanna be sent right back to the Ruins? S’fine by me.”

They scowl. “One day, I will kill you again. It won’t be a quick death.”

“Looking forward to it, kiddo.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we're almost at the end of the first arc. This story is gonna get LONG, jeez. I might split it up into a series instead, what do you guys think? If it continues as it is I'll end up with three or four times the length as it is now (about 40k). 
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! Heh, I'm glad you guys are liking my iteration of Chara - I want to do them justice, but at the same time I'm a sucker for redeemable villains that keep much of their darker character traits. With a protagonist like Avery, I guess that's not much of a surprise. 
> 
> Oh, and I'm considering eventually making a tumblr blog with updates on the story, prompts/bits of plot I don't fit into the main story, maybe some character sketches. Would anyone be interested in that?


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You flirt with a fire monster and scheme with a skeleton.
> 
> (Chara interrupts)

Sans doesn’t give Chara a chance to respond.

The sudden warmth makes you suck in a startled breath. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to his teleporting. The sudden switch in surroundings is worse this time, too, as you’re swapping a snowy landscape for the cosy indoors.

You look around curiously. Monster bars aren’t all that the different from the human ones you’ve occasionally checked out, if they’re all like this one. There’s who you assume to be a bartender behind the counter, serving customers. But in this case, the bartender happens to be a humanoid monster made entirely out of flame - discounting their clothing and glasses – and their customers consist of two bird-like monsters by the counter, several dogs in sets of armour sitting around at tables, and a couple of other monsters in booths. Interesting bunch.

A chorus of greetings meet Sans when they notice him. You watch as he returns them, following him as he makes his way to a seat in one of the booths. Popular guy. You wonder if these are all the monsters that he kept out of the forest so that they didn’t encounter Chara. In previous runs, did he just watch them die?

They don’t even question your presence after he tells them you’re just an odd-looking monster. “They’re real sensitive ‘bout, so if you don’t mind..?” Somehow a creature consisting mostly of teeth manages to look sheepish.

He sits down in one of the booths and you settle down across from him. He wipes some sweat from his brow, eye sockets shadowed with exhaustion.

“Something wrong?”

“Nah. That last short cut just took it outa me a bit. Shouldn’t really be using so much magic at once.”

“Does teleporting use more magic than fighting?” you ask. Whilst towards your last fights he seemed to be getting worn down a bit, you’ve never seen him this tired.

“Yep. ‘specially when I’ve got a couple of passengers.” He shifts in his seat. “So, whaddya think of Grillby’s?”

“Hm?” That must be the name of the bar. “Oh, nice place here,” you say absently. “It’s got a warm atmosphere.”

Sans snorts. You raise your eyebrows in confusion before your eyes flick to the monster behind the bar. A laugh escapes you. “Not what I meant, but, accurate all the same.”

“Welp, you’re right on both accounts. The fire guy?” He hooks a thumb over his shoulder. “He’s Grillby, owner of this joint. Not someone you wanna mess with,” he adds idly. “If I can’t take you down, he can.”

You huff. His wariness is understandable, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t boring you. “Is threatening me your kink or something? That’s a-okay, no kink shaming here, but I’m not really up for it. More of the cuddle-and-snuggle type, myself.”

Huh. Mark that three out of three on blushing skeletons. The faint blue dusting his face matches his - more familiar - angry magic eye. Currently those eyes are wide and vaguely embarrassed.

“I don’t-ugh.” He pressed a hand to his face. “I won’t threaten you anymore, ‘kay? Just. You could do a lotta damage, and I can’t keep _letting_ that happen.”

You lean forwards, eyebrows pinched together. “I get it.” You smile and raise a hand. “I do solemnly swear to never harm any monster in the Underground. Does that work for you?”

He sighs. “It’ll have to, won’t it?”

Sans twists in his seat to face the bar. “Hey Grillby. Could we get a burger and my usual?”

Grillby nods in reply. He heads out a side door with a fire exit sign above it, prompting a grin from you.

You occupy yourself with studying the monsters in the room. The dogs in armour aren’t actual dogs, of course. They’re bipedal, for one, and you faintly hear the two in executioner outfits chatting amongst themselves. The huge axes they have set against their table earn an impressed one-over.

A few years back you got really into historical weaponry, and through sheer stubbornness managed to get your hands on several types of weapon. You wouldn’t say you were anywhere near the right sort of person to own them. You bled to death a few times in your attempts to use them, and it took far too long for you to just go _learn_ how from people who knew. They had clubs for it and everything. 

Wooden swords were never quite the same as the fancy longsword you stole during several loops, but at least you didn’t lose a limb the safe way. Besides, as soon as you felt you’d learnt all you could it was back to good ol’ steel, and you were much less likely to accidentally die. Result!

The other dog-like monsters seem a lot less dangerous than Mister and Missus Axe. There’s one in a full set of armour playing cards with…itself, and a similar-looking, if much larger, version sits with the executioners. You kind of want to pet their ears. They look absurdly soft.

A plate is set down in front of you. Your stomach grumbles at the smell of food as you eye the burger hungrily. Those doughnuts don’t seem to have filled you up for long.

“Thanks! This looks delicious.” you say with a bright grin.

Grillby nods to you. Despite being entirely made of fire you can see a faint curve of a smile on his face. Are his glasses and clothes made from some special material so they don’t burn? Or can he control what he- maybe he doesn’t even burn things. He could just _appear_ to be made of fire.

“Your glasses are very cool,” you tell him solemnly. You could never pull off wearing glasses. One loop you wore some just for the sake of it, only to get constantly distracted by the edges of the frames in your vision. Poor glasses ended up thrown over the side of a speedboat.

Grillby’s flames lighten slightly as he adjusts his glasses. You hear a low, “Thank you.”

You wink and say playfully, “Just telling the truth, hotstuff.” Oh, wow. The white flames look super pretty against the orange and yellow.

Sans gives you an exasperated look. “You’re worse than Frisk,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Sorry ‘bout them, Grillby.”

You raise your hands in surrender as Grillby walks away. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you compliments are good for the soul?”

“Can’t say I’ve heard that one.”

You shrug. “You probably wouldn’t have, since I just made it up on the spot. Still! It’s good advice for life.”

You dig into your burger, letting out a pleased moan at the taste. It has the same edge of strangeness as the doughnuts, but it’s otherwise the same as any other burger – though a high quality one. Knocks you favourite diner right out of its top spot.

“You don’t want any ketchup?” Sans shakes the bottle at you.

Swallowing, you shake your head.

“Great. More for me.” He pops off the lid and starts chugging it, keeping an eye on you. You raise an eyebrow before returning to your burger. Despite being a skeleton he somehow manages a pout. “Usually that gets a reaction. ‘m kinda disappointed, tibia’hest.”

You snicker. “Hey, I’m not gonna judge you for your beverage decisions.” You wave a hand to him. “Drink away, you tomato connoisseur, you.”

He winks. “Will do.”

You finish your burger in a couple more bites, whilst Sans drinks his ketchup. When you’re both done you say, “Well, now we’ve got the pleasantries out of the way, let’s discuss our evil plan!”

He raises a brow. “Wouldn’t exactly call it evil.”

You wave a hand. “It’s all a matter of perspective. So, where’s this Determination Extractor? How am I getting there? Scheme with me.”

“Sure thing.” He drops all amusement in favour of a serious tone. “You need to get Chara through Waterfall and to the Hotlands, where Alphys’ place is. I’ll handle running the DT Extractor.”

“How does it work? What will it do, exactly?”

Sans eyes you warily. “It’ll take away Chara’s Determination. Not all of it. You humans produce a bunch of it naturally, so the machine can only siphon most of it away. Alphys used it on the past coupla human souls and they recovered afterwards, far as I can tell.”

“Have you ever used it before?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. I haven’t worked in the labs for a long time. When I was there we'd only finished up the outer structure. But I read Alphys’ notes – I know how to work it. I’ll need to make a few adjustments since this soul has a body and is conscious, though,” he says, frowning. “Alphys…she might help, once I explain things.”

You tap your fingers against the table. “Won’t Chara just be able to reset when their Determination levels rise, or whatever?”

His eyes shift away from yours. “Uh, that shouldn’t happen. Far as I can tell, the extractor will destroy the ability in the process of draining away their Determination, since it’s intrinsically linked to it.”

You examine his nervous expression. “You certain about that, Sans?”

The white pinpricks lock onto you. “Yep.”

Leaning back, you put on a smile. “Okay, then. Seems we’ve got ourselves a plan. Do you mind keeping me updated on how adjusting the extractor is going?”

His grin has a touch of relief to it. “No problem. Just, keep Chara from resetting, will ya? Starting all over again would be a pain.”

You salute. “Will do, partner.”

He lets out sigh, closing his eye sockets. “Hard to believe things might actually change. That the resets might end. Seems too good to be true.”

“We’ll make it true,” you say resolutely. Then you give a lopsided grin. “We’ve got the time, after all.”

“Heh. You’re not wrong there. Uh, could you…do you…ugh.” He grimaces. “Gaster. How- how is he?”

You prop your head up on your palm. “Not terrible. He seems to be handling his non-existence relatively well – he’s much saner than I am, for a point of reference. I don’t know him anywhere as well as you, but I think it’s a good sign that he’s actively trying to prevent the destruction of this timeline.” 

He gapes at you. “…destruction of the timeline?”

You smile sheepishly. “Did I not mention? Apparently, Chara fucked up when they made this world, so it’s all glitch-y and unstable. If Chara doesn’t quit resetting sometime soon, everything goes poof!”

Sans slumps back in his seat. “Welp. That’s, uh, some pressure there.”

You shrug. “Have a little faith. We can do it.” And if you can’t, well. It’s death either way. You just- you don't want the monsters and Chara to die. They deserve better than that. 

He chuckles humourlessly. “Wish I had your confidence, pal.”

“Believe in the me who believes in you!” you enthuse with your best grin and thumbs up. You wish you had your Kamina shades on you. 

He gives you a bemused look. Then he sighs slightly and smirks in amusement. “Will do.”

A phone starts to ring. Sans startles and digs his cell out of his pocket, frowning down at it before he answers. “Paps? What’s up?”

You hear a familiar giggle.

_“Hiya, Sans! It’s me, Chara! How’s your date going?”_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, we've almost wrapped up part 1. As you can probably tell I plan on this being a pretty long story, so congrats if you've stuck around for this long. All the comments and kudos are incredibly motivating, so thank you! 
> 
> I've seen a couple of comments with ideas for scenes that I just couldn't fit into the main story (Avery having a go at the Gauntlet, for example). If any of you have prompts for stuff you'd like to see happen, I might be able to write the up on the side. 
> 
> I'll probably end up writing bits from Avery's loops to give some insight into their character (they were not meant to be this complicated and contradictory, jeez. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one who should ask them questions about why they're so...them. They'd be a weird ass character to try to RP with). So, in the vein of morbid humour so prevalent in this story, if you've got any ideas for deaths or other such adventures, for example, I'm all ears.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go off in the deep end. It happens. 
> 
> (Chara has feels and doesn't like it very much)

“What did you do?” Sans teeth are gritted together as he glares at some point over your shoulder. His hands shake and magic sparks in his eye socket.

 _“Oh, not much. Nothing new, anyway. Come find me!”_ They end the call.

He surges to his feet. “C’mon,” he urges you. “They might not’ve- if we hurry, we can stop ‘em.”

The doubt in his voice convinces you otherwise. Chara…they really have the worst timing.

Still, you nod and stand. A second later you’re no longer in the bar, but instead once again outside, snow falling gently around you. Sans grunts and pressed a hand to his left eye, swaying slightly. You hold his shoulder to help steady him, brows furrowed in concern, but he brushes you off and starts looking around frantically.

“S’usually here,” he says. “They always kill him here.”

“Ring them,” you suggest. “Chara wants you to find them, right?” It’s always much more fun with an audience.

He tries calling and you hear the faint sound of a ringtone. Sans immediately darts in the direction it came from, desperation flashing across his face. You follow him, trudging through the thick layer of snow at a slower pace than the skeleton.

You know how this ends. It’s all a game, one you played often around a century ago, maybe longer if your memory is wrong. Take the person your victim cares about most, lure them in with the hope of saving them, and crush it. Watch the devastation that floods through them, see how their hope dies and grief overwhelms them.

And then, anger. They try to hurt you, to get revenge. As if doing so would bring back the one they loved. Sometimes you let them. Other times, you helped them feel other kinds of pain.

Shaking your thoughts away, you break into a run. Sans isn’t that far ahead of you and you easily catch up, the ringtone getting louder with every step.

Then you spot Chara. They have a wide, satisfied smile on their face as they twirl the knife in their hand. When they notice the two of you they beam in delight. “Glad you could make it!”

“Papyrus..?”

You follow Sans’ gaze to the pile of dust at Chara’s feet, a vibrant red scarf laying on top of it. The rest of Papyrus’ clothes are scattered nearby.

Your fists clench.

“Not again,” Sans murmurs emptily. His eye sockets are wide, the white lights almost dull. “Please, not again.”

Chara flicks their knife with a snicker. “Sorry, Sans! Seems you’re just a little too late, as always! Oh, hello Avery,” they say, as if just noticing you. “Hope you’re enjoying the show!”

You take in a deep breath. Then, you laugh quietly. It builds in your chest until you’re holding your stomach and gasping for breath. This kid-

You straighten. “You think you’re scary, don’t you?” you say bemusedly. “You really do.”

Confusion flashes across their face. “What-”

“You think that THIS is, haha, _scary?”_ Your grin splits your face and you take a step forward. They take one back. “You’re just a kid who can’t stop _breaking_ their toys.”

People are too easy to break. They have so many fragile organs to play with, so many ways to cause pain and bring them to the edge of death – and hang there, no matter how much they don’t want to.

You got really good at making them last longer.

Chara scowls. “I’m not a kid!”

You chuckle at their affront. “Come _on,_ Chara. Let’s be honest here. One mass murderer to another, ey?” You slip your hand into your pocket. “You didn’t do this for fun.”

“I didn’t?” They smirk. “Then why did I enjoy it _so_ much?”

You shake your head. “Nope. It’s all about the shock factor, the reaction. Killing itself loses its intrigue after a while, don’t it? When it comes down to it, it’s not like any of it even matters.” You wave your hand. “Kill them, let them live – who cares? You’re not having any impact on the world.”

“I think you’re projecting,” they say mockingly. “ _I_ can have as much impact as I want. I control this world.”

You throw your head back and laugh. “That’s – ahahaha! – that’s a good one!” Mouth twisting into a pitying smile, you take another step. “You think you have control? If you have so much control, Chara…why do you keep repeating yourself?”

Their eyes narrow. “Wh-what? What’s that supposed to mean?!”

You throw your arms up. “Come _ooon,_ Chara! Get with the programme!”

They flinch back at your yell.

“Kill, hurt, destroy. That’s all you do, right? Again and again and again! And it feels good – _man_ does it feel good – but what the fuck are you changing?” You giggle helplessly. “It’s so fucking pointless! And the best part is, you don’t even get it! Hahahaha!”

You abruptly sober, examining their scared expression with curious eyes. “If you keep killing everyone, who’s gonna care about what happens to poor, little, _Chara?”_

They point their knife at you, clutching it with both hands. “Don’t come near me, you freak!”

You frown. “Hey, now. That’s not very nice of you. I was just trying to teach you something useful. You need to learn it sooner or later. I’m a part of this world for however long you’ll have me, and seeing everyone die over and over again isn’t on my bucket list. I scratched that one off a while ago.”

“Avery.”

You look over your shoulder curiously. Sans is standing up again, Papyrus’ scarf wrapped around his fingers. He’s watching you cautiously, a worn grief lingering in his expression, but none of the shock you’re used to seeing in your own victims. This must be far from the first time he’s seen Papyrus dead. How long until he gets used to it? Until it doesn’t even effect him?  

You give a friendly smile. “What’s up, Sans? Oh.” Your eyebrows pull together in sadness. “I’m so sorry about your brother. On the bright side, he won’t stay dead for long.” Winking, you say, “Just leave it to me.”

You pull out your switchblade, releasing the knife and holding it up so Chara can see it. “I’ve had this for a _loooong_ time. Stuck with me through thick and thin, it has.” You chuckle. “If blades could talk, _wow_ it’d have some stories to tell!” A sheepish look crosses your face. “Not all of them very flattering.”

Chara glares at you. “I thought it’d be Sans I would need to fight. If you try to hurt me, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

You blink at them in confusion. “What are you talking about? I would never hurt _you.”_

Their brows furrow. “Then, what-”

You plunge the knife into your throat.

The immediate spike of pain is easily ignored as you pull out the blade, choking on blood when you try to breathe in. It falls in thick rivets from the wound, dripping onto the snow at your feet, and you grimace. Not deep enough. Must’ve missed.

Chara shakes off their shock in order to take a hesitant step forwards – far from quick enough to stop the next slash. The spray splatters their face and shirt as they stand there, hand outstretched towards you.

The knife falls from your fingers and your legs fold, sending you tumbling to the ground. Each staggering breath is harder than the last, and you’re already starting to lose feeling in your limbs. Much better.

You look up at the clouds with a contented smile as your eyesight begins to blur. You think you’ve made your point. Heh. Point. Like a knife, see? You’ll have to tell Sans that one, since he likes puns so much.

You don’t have much hope that Chara will just let you die. Even if they wanted you dead, they’d still reset all over again, bringing you back with them. You hope that they care enough that they’ll load immediately. It’d be nice, you know? To have someone care about you.

Sans interrupts your view as he scrambles to stop the bleeding, pressing his hands to your throat. The bone is as warm as you remember; warmer, even, when you feel so cold. They’re not as hard as you might expect, either, seeming to give slightly where human bone wouldn’t. It’s pretty fascinating. Maybe he’ll explain it all, sometime when you’re not bleeding out and his brother is alive.

“Fuck, I- why did you _do_ that?!”

You laugh wetly. That’s a nice gesture and all, but there’s not much he can do for you now. You’re too good at killing yourself for that. You try to tell him that but end up gurgling. Right. Your throat is currently in tatters.

He gives up. Bony fingers touch the side of your face and he looks down at you with conflicted eyes. “Why’d ya do that, huh? I would’ve just killed Chara and they’d load their last save. No need to…to do this.”

No. You’re their knight in shining armour, remember? You’re the dispensable one. You get hurt, not other people.

Not anymore.

Your eyes slide shut just as the world begins to fragment.

 

Their blood is warm.

You can feel it drip down your face as Avery falls like a puppet with its strings cut. You pull your hand back, eyes riveted on the dark red covering your skin.

You’ve seen Avery die dozens of times. The last time was worse than this, wasn’t it? When they could barely hold themselves upright with how broken their body was. But this…

This is your fault.

You start to shake. You wanted- you don’t know what you wanted. To shock them, to see how’d they react to you killing Papyrus when they obviously liked him. You’ve done it to Sans, trying out different scenarios to see how he’d respond to his brother’s death. After a while it got boring, like all your games did.

You thought it would be more interesting with Avery. They’d killed and hurt others, just like you. Would they get angry at you for it or would they find it fun? They always went on about how they didn’t like killing, but they must have at some point to have such a high amount of LV. You thought they were probably lying, instead.

_They weren’t._

Shut up, Frisk! They _were_ lying, they have to be lying. They’re just trying to trick you. This- this is all just an act to get your guard down. It has to be. Because, otherwise…

_That piggy back ride was a lot of fun, wasn’t it? And they were worried about us. Remember? They got us some warmer clothes, and asked if we needed to bring anything, and they made sure we were out of the way before-_

Stop it! They don’t care about you, they don’t! They’re a _human!_ Humans don’t care about anyone except themselves. They’re all liars – even Avery said so!

_But why would they lie?_

Because- just because they can! Why would they ever care about _you,_ anyway? They wouldn’t gain anything from it. You’ll just keep hurting them, finding more interesting ways every time, until eventually you get bored. That’s what happens.

 _Is it…what you_ want _to happen?_

Of course it is. If it wasn’t why would you keep…keep repeating yourself?

A choked gurgle makes you flinch. You didn’t even notice Sans approach; he’s on the ground near Avery, trying to stop the bleeding. It’s not working, the blood pouring out too fast for his efforts to mean anything.

You hadn’t expected Papyrus’ death to distract him for all that long. You were planning on trying to fight him, thinking that in his emotional state he might become sloppy and you’d manage the only hit you needed. You weren’t sure if Avery would just stand by and let it happen, or if they’d…help you.

Now it doesn’t matter. They did something you hadn’t predicted. You should feel excited. This is an outcome you haven’t seen yet, a rewrite of a familiar scenario. The new player in your endless game changed the rules on you, and now you get to figure out your counter.

But you’re trapped. You can let them stay dead until the next time you reset, or you can do so straight away. You’d choose the first option just because you thought it might make them angry, but you don’t want to.

You want to hear their strange and horrifying stories of their own resets. You want to see their delighted excitement whenever they spot a new part of the Underground, the way it almost makes you feel like you’re seeing it again for the first time. You want to see their total lack of disgust whenever you talk about killing monsters, their lack of judgement, even if they don’t agree with your actions.

You don’t want to feel their blood on your face. You don’t want to see the way their skin gets paler with every second that passes, or the glazed look overtaking their eyes. You want those eyes to look at you with that fond amusement again, instead of half-crazed disappointment.

_Chara…_

You want to reset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentally stable characters? Haha, what's that?
> 
> Tada, dramatic ending to the first section of Glitch. Now we start onto the next part, with time shenanigans abound and even more feels! 
> 
> I'm a bit unsure of how IC Chara is, but I figure that with the amount of time they've been possessing Frisk, their emotions have started to leak through and cause Chara to feel their own again. It's a bit overwhelming to the poor demon child. Also, I can always use the "this is an AU" excuse *shrug*. 
> 
> As always, I love reading your comments, and thank you for the kudos!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You realise something. It hurts, but, it's also kind of nice.

Y O U

W A K E

U P

You think you’ll call this place the Void. It fits the endless darkness well, in your opinion.

Gaster is already in front of you this time. His head is tilted, hands clasped together. You give him a tired smile and wave. “Hey there, Gaster.”

 _“Hello,”_ he says after a pause.

You sigh and brush a hand through your hair. “Heh, that was…Guess I lost it a bit. Damn.”

Scaring people is something you’ve tried to avoid. You ended up spending most of your first century or so wreaking as much havoc as you could, hurting people in as many ways as you could think of.

Then you turned your destructive tendencies on yourself.

It was only over the past sixty years or so that you decided to stop. To be as good a person as you could manage. Breaking down like that…usually you didn’t have to worry about the fallout. Consequences stopped existing for you a while ago.

Now it’s different. Now there are people who remember. You don’t…you don’t want them to be scared of you. You can survive on your own, you know that.

But…it’d be nice if you didn’t have to anymore.

“Chara, did they, uh. Did they at least kill him quickly?” You feel bad for having to ask Gaster this, but you need to know. Papyrus is one of the few truly good people you’ve come across. You might not have known him for long, but you know he didn’t deserve to die.

Gaster’s eyes close for a moment. _“Yes. The fallen child did not draw it out. Papyrus wasn’t the target of their attack, after all.”_

“What’s the deal with Chara? They’re not- they’re not just some unfeeling murderer,” you say, frustrated. “I know that. What’re they trying to prove?”

 _“I don’t know.”_ He hesitates before saying reluctantly, _“They…they were not always like this. When they were still alive they were a source of hope for the Underground. I did not know them well, but they never exercised a capacity for this sort of cruelty during that time.”_

“What changed? Was it the loops- I mean, resets?”

 _“Partially. They died in an attempt to destroy humanity, prevented from fulfilling their goal by the monster they cared for most. I believe that this…_ betrayal _set them on their current course.”_

You put the pieces together. “Flowey was that monster, huh? He doesn’t seem the type to want to save humanity.”

_“The fallen child is not the only one who has changed.”_

You smile ruefully. “Yeah. I’d know a thing or two about how people change.”

You shake your head and force a cheery grin. “Well. As soon as I wake up, I’ll try to repair the damage. I won’t let Chara hurt anyone this time. It was dumb of me to leave them alone – I guess I thought Sans’ threat would be enough to hold them in check.”

Gaster’s eye lights look away. _“If you could…tell Sans that I am fine. He shouldn’t worry about me.”_

You frown. “He cares about you; of course he’s going to worry. I’ll tell him you said hi. That you believe he can stop the resets. You’re proud of him for trying despite how hard it is, and he shouldn’t give up.” You scrutinize his hunched form. “That okay?”

_“…that is okay.”_

“Awesome.” You glance around but, of course, there’s nothing here but the two of you. “How are you, Gaster?”

He starts. _“How am I?”_

“Yeah.” You bite you lip. “I can’t imagine, I mean.” Fuck. You are so bad at this. Awkwardly holding your arms out, you say, “Do you want a hug? Hugs make people feel better, right?”

He lets out a startled laugh, the sound twisted oddly by the Void. _“I believe so. Thank you for the offer, but I assure you that I am well.”_

You drop your arms. “Oh, alright. Fist bump of victory?” you offer, raising a fist hopefully.

Despite his exasperated amusement, he knocks his fist gently against your own. You mimic an explosion as you pull away, wiggling your fingers with a “Pshooo” – until they start to flicker out of existence.

You twist your hand in front of your face, watching as the static crawls up your arm. “I guess I’m off. See you around, Gaster.”

_“Good luck.”_

You have a feeling you’ll need it.

 

For the first time in a while, you wake up on a bed of golden flowers. You take in a deep breath and look up at the hole in the ceiling. The sky above isn’t visible; you can only see the bright light which illuminates the area around you.

You hadn’t realised how much you missed seeing the sky. It was something you never gave much thought to, since it was so easily accessible. Until now, anyway. You wonder if any of the monsters are old enough to remember the sky.  

Something moves near you. You twist your head and catch sight of the child kneeling beside you, a bright smile on their face.

“Cha-” You stop. The way they’re holding themselves is nothing like Chara. They’re keeping their arms close to their chest, shoulders hunched slightly so they seem even smaller than they are. Their eyes are squinted to slivers; you can barely make out the red of their irises as their gaze fails to meet you own, remaining focussed on the lower portion of your face.

“…Frisk?” you try hesitantly as you sit up.

They nod excitedly, hand forming a fist which they move up and down. Then they tap their open hand to the side of forehead, palm facing you, and lift it away.

Your brows furrow for a second. “That’s, uh, that’s sign language, right?” You'd loved learning new languages, spending years getting as fluent as you could with limited resources and finding people who spoke it if you could. ASL is one of the more recent ones, so you remember it better than earlier languages like Russian and Polish.  

Their smile drops a bit and they twist the ends of their sleeves between their fingers. You just manage to catch a soft, “Sorry.”

You wave your hands frantically. “There’s no need to apologise, really! I, uh, it’s just been a while since I learnt ASL, that’s all.” You give them a grin. “You’ll just need to be a bit patient with me until it all comes back, okay?”

Their smile returns, eyes flicking to yours for a moment. They quickly curve their hand into a circle shape, and then lift their forefinger whilst pointing their index finger at an angle. “Okay.”

You beam. “Great. Well, it’s nice to meet you, Frisk! I’m Avery- I guess you already knew that?”

They nod. The next signs they make you ask them to repeat, which they do so at a slower pace. You mentally translate it, filling in the gaps for punctuation and words they skip or simplify. “Yes. I can see and feel everything Chara does.”

“Ah.” You scratch the back of your head, wincing when you think of your break down earlier. You hang you head. “I’m sorry I lost it on the two of you. I was…I don’t know, I was frustrated and,” you pause, trying to figure out what to say. “I was sad.”

Your eyes widen slightly. You felt sad because Papyrus died, and because Chara was the one who killed him. You were disappointed in them.

You care about them.

Oh.

You shake your head and force yourself to look at Frisk. You don’t like the way shame curls uncomfortably in your gut as you see their anxious expression. “A-anyway, that doesn’t give me the right to scare you. So, I’m sorry. To both of you.”

Turn it off. That’s what you usually do, isn’t it? Just, turn off those feelings until they go away. Caring about people isn’t something you can afford to do, and feeling bad for you actions? Why should you? Even- even if they don’t forget it now, they’ll forget you eventually. Everyone always does.

You had your parents every loop, but whenever you tried to explain what was happening, they thought you were crazy. That, or lying. You suppose it’s your own fault, really. You used to tell so many lies all the time, didn’t you? Most of your memories before the loops have a haze to them, but you remember that.

You remember having to pretend to feel more than you actually did, just to appease the people around you. You knew there was something wrong with you and you had to hide it. You faked so much of your life that you weren’t sure where the line between the real you, and the one you presented to the world, even was anymore.

Sometimes…you weren’t sure if there _was_ a real you behind the mask.

Frisk grabs your hand and you jolt. They’re biting their lip, looking at you in worry.

You blink slowly. “Uh, did I space out?” You paste on a smile. “Haha, sorry. I haven’t done that in a while.”

They look at you in concern, letting go of your hand in order to shift theirs in a shrugging motion before tapping their hand to their chin, thumb and pinky extended with the rest tucked in. “What’s wrong?”

“Bad thoughts, that’s all.”

Frisk frowns at you but doesn’t push.

“Get up to anything fun when I was out?” you ask cheerily. Did they go on to slaughter everyone in the Underground? Or, did Sans kill them before they could?

They shake their head and start to sign. “Chara reset. They feel bad. Everyone is alive now.” They looks at you hopefully. “You feel better?”

You stare at them for a moment before a more genuine smile turns up your lips. “Yeah. That makes me a feel a lot better. Thank you, Chara. You too, Frisk.”

They shuffle on their knees, seeming to be debating something, before suddenly launching themselves at you. You let out a surprised breath as you stare down at the mop of brown hair, Frisk’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

Your hands hover in front of you. You don’t know where to put them. How do you hug? You’ve seen this happen before but you don’t remember the last time you actually experienced one yourself (in retrospect, you’re kind of glad Gaster refused your offer if you were just going to freeze up like this). It’s ridiculous to feel so odd about having someone this close to you – Chara was on your back not that long ago, remember? – but you can’t help tensing.

Hesitantly, you wrap your arms loosely around their shoulders. With the way you’re sitting they’re half in your lap, head buried in your sweater. You feel the way they flinch before relaxing with a heavy sigh.

“’m sorry,” they say, voice muffled but strong. Chara. “I wanted to…You weren’t supposed to do that.” They pulled back in order to glare at you, not quite letting go. “Don’t do it again.”

You chuckle. “I won’t, so long as you don’t kill anyone. Have we got a deal?” You offer your pinky finger.

They give you a look of utter scorn, before reluctantly hooking their finger on yours with a huff. “Deal.”

“Will Frisk be sticking around?” you ask.

They shrink back. “Why?” They scowl at you. “Oh, I get it. You don’t want me here, do you?”

You ruffle their hair, letting your hand rest there as you say brightly, “Of course I want you here! I don’t think I could ever get tired of you, Chara. But I’d like to talk to Frisk too sometimes, if that’s alright with the both of you.”

When their doubtful look remains you lean in and whisper conspiratorially, “Don’t tell anyone, but I am incredibly greedy when it comes to making friends. I just can’t get enough of them. It’s a terrible vice, I know, but I can’t help how amazing all of you are.”

They try to fight down an amused smirk before giving up and snickering freely. “You’re so weird. How can you say that with a straight face?”

You shrug. “Because I mean it. I’d love to be your friend, and Frisk’s too, if you’ll have me.”

They consider you for a long moment, expressions flickering across their face in a way that makes you think they’re talking with Frisk. Finally, they give a slow nod.

You beam at them. “Awesome! You’re stuck with me now, by the way. I’m like gum on the bottom of your shoe, but less unsanitary and gooey. Just as stubborn, though. You’ll need a crowbar to get rid of me.”

“Or I could just stab you,” Chara says nonchalantly. The cautious look in their eyes betrays them.

“Nah. That wouldn’t keep me away.”

Their small smile is more genuine than anything you’ve seen them express before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did...I just write fluff? Huh. Mark that on the author check list.
> 
> And Frisk finally makes an appearance outside of Chara's head! Yay! I have no idea how to sign, by the way, I'm just going from looking up specific phrases online, so if any of it is inaccurate please let me know! There probably won't be too many mentions of specific signs. 
> 
> Next chapter is probably going to be a looong Sans POV. It's very odd to write compared to my usual - very, I don't know, tired I guess. Dude needs a hug. 
> 
> Thanks for all the awesome comments! I was kinda nervous about the last chapter since it was so...*waves hands*. Glad you guys seem to be liking the story! And thanks for the kudos too, of course :D


	22. Sans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't follow the script any more. Keeping Chara at the Ruins is the best option you have.
> 
> Welp. Until another human shows up. 
> 
> Hell of a game-changer there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Long-ass heavily introspective OOC Sans chapter ahead. Have fun.

The light shining through the large windows bathe the Judgement Hall in a warm yellow glow. You stand in the shadows formed by one of the pillars, staring at the entrance at the far end of the hall.

You’ve been here before. ‘course you have. You’ve known for while that this short segment of your life was on endless repeat; you managed to get the readings necessary to realise that much before you abandoned the labs.

It was only after the kid entered the Underground that actually you put it all together. Karma, you guess, for ignoring it after Gaster died (at least, he may as well have). The nightmares and flashes of other timelines quickly clued you in to what was happening. Back then you didn’t remember everything, but you saw enough to realise how massively time had been distorted. All by one kid.

You chuckle. Not exactly a kid, where they?

Frisk was good, once. When you managed to sort out the memories packed haphazardly into your head you knew this wasn’t the same child you were once friends with. Or, well, you thought you might be friends with. Could be.

It was an old future, anyway.

When the kid killed your brother for the first time – _they're in tears_ _as they stare up at you, begging for forgiveness. Your magic buzzes in your skull and you want nothing more than to crush their soul between your fingers. Why? Why did they hurt him? He never did anything, he didn’t deserve to die!_ – it kinda put a damper on any sort of friendship that could form.

And it _i_ _s_ Frisk who did that. Chara might be calling the shots now, but you won’t ever forget what Frisk did. What they’re capable of when they get _bored._

Soft footsteps echo around the hall, steadily getting louder as they approach you. You stare out of the window, unable to look at them for a moment. This is the part where they kill you, isn’t it? They’ve – _a knife slashes towards you and you dodge it, feeling smug. “Heh. Didja really think you would be ab-” You don’t anticipate the second strike –_ done it so many times that each death almost blurs into one. A big old montage of dying.

They’ve killed you in slightly different ways, too; just to spice things up a bit, you guess. They always use that knife, though. The only time they let go of the thing is when you manage to kill them, and even then you can’t enjoy the victory for very long.

Soon enough the world would disintegrate around you and you’re back to staring down the hall, waiting for the next time they arrive to kill you. Other times they reset and you go through the motions of greeting them in Snowdin, only vaguely aware of what’s happened before.

You kinda wish you could go back to those days. Used to be simpler. They weren’t fun by any means, but they were more bearable than this.

You can feel the knowledge of what they did eating away at you. Before you remembered, you’d resigned yourself to it. There wasn’t anything you could do, anyway. You couldn’t bring yourself to care when you knew your efforts would just be erased. Written out of existence by an almost-child who grew more twisted by each reset.

But now…you don’t know if you can keep pretending everything is okay. You _– put on a smile, stretching your mouth wide. It still doesn’t look genuine. You hold your hand out to the kid, doing your best to ignore the dust covering their clothes, suppressing the magic that wants to lash out at them._

 _The Toriel of the other timelines, earlier ones, begged you to watch over the kid, but you think you’d be justified in breaking your promise these days. They’d just reverse time though. For all you know you_ have _killed them in a previous timeline –_ do your best for Papyrus, trying to act like nothing’s changed, but you know he sees right through you. He just doesn’t know how to help.

You hate hurting him like that, but telling him the truth would be worse. You won’t burden him like that. If anyone has to suffer, better it be you.

“Hello, Sans.”

Your eyes turn slowly to the not-child. It’s a familiar sight by now. Striped shirt, tan skin, short brown hair – and those red eyes watching you with amusement. That particular wide grin spread across their face is a trait unique to Chara.

You’ve gotten good at telling them apart ever since Chara revealed themselves to you during one timeline, though you’d had your suspicious that something wasn’t quite right before. It’s always Chara in control lately; Frisk hasn’t been around for a while. You wonder if they’re even still in there.

You don’t say anything in reply. This is where you’re supposed to give your speech on LV and EXP, isn’t it? Lecture them like it’ll ever make a difference. You didn’t even show up the last reset. Didn’t do much, really. Just stayed in bed when you couldn’t work up the energy to get up.

Sleeping was easier, even if you were inevitably woken up by nightmares. At least you don’t have to think when you’re asleep.

Chara plays with their knife. Hard to believe they used to be the hope of the Underground. You knew the story of what happened to Toriel’s kids, every monster did, but Gaster’s notes are what gave you the hint on how they’d come back. He’d tested his first Determination extractors on them, thinking he could use it to break the barrier. They volunteered for it and everything, so they must’ve been alright once. It’s not much of a consolation.

The experiments he did on their soul weren’t supposed to effect Chara. They didn’t, as far as Gaster knew. You’re not sure if they’re what gave Chara the ability to reset, but you won’t count it out as a possibility. Eventually, Gaster gave up on them, using the Determination he’d siphoned off in a desperate gamble. At least, that’s how you view it.

Too bad it didn’t turn out so well for him.

You remember that now. All sorts of thing you’ve forgotten about the man who created yon have returned, along with the memories of other timelines. Waking up in that lab, confused and sparking with magic. The Determination experiments. Learning to make your short cuts and summon Gaster blasters. They used to be so vague before, half-remembered and blurred, but now they couldn’t be clearer. You can’t say you appreciate the change.

Chara’s eyes narrow, irritation creeping into their expression. Heh. That’s a better look on them.

“I’ve missed you recently,” they say sweetly. “What could you be up to that’s so much more important than me?”

You snort. “Bit conceited, don’t ya think? I’m a busy guy.” That’s a blatant lie. Good job you have plenty of practise. Maybe one day you’ll even be able to convince yourself.

You don’t like the curiosity that flashes across their face, or the way their smile grows. You’re not here to entertain them. That sure as hell isn’t in your job description.

You reach for your magic and tear a blaster into existence behind you, sensing it loom over your shoulder. Took you a while to get a hang of that; you picked up short cuts much faster. You’re glad you took the time to learn it, now. They’re pretty useful.

Chara barely avoids the first shot, and you have another lined up for them the second they stop moving.

They know your attacks – that’s what’s always given them the advantages in your previous fights. They just load every time you win until eventually they wear you down, having learnt every possible pattern you could throw at them.

Not today. This time, you’re the one with all that handy knowledge. Let’s have a go at actually using it, huh?

 

Chara chokes on the blood filling their mouth, a low whine of pain leaving them. You’re not effected by the sound. Whatever pain they feel is nothing compared to what they’ve dealt out. You’re almost glad you killed them this way – two long bones speared through their chest, leaving them to hang in the air as they bleed out – instead of something quicker. Call it a small dose of payback.

You stuff your hands into your pockets and wait for Chara to die. You probably got at least one lung so it should take only a couple of minutes. You smile flatly. Never thought you’d get murder down to a science, but here you are.

You’ve killed them a few dozen times now, finding some enjoyment in their growing frustration and confusion. They occasionally got close to taking you out, but you’re familiar enough with their style that you came out as the winner each time.

No more thinking you’d be strong enough to keep their soul in place, letting your guard down like an idiot. Throwing it around isn’t even all that easy when their LV gets this high, their Determination struggling against the hold of your magic. More effective to bombard them with bones and blasters until they were the ones worn ragged, never giving them time to regroup. It's a good strategy – seems to be working for you, anyway.

Their eyes fall shut, gasping breaths stuttering to a halt. This way, with their face free of that taunting expression, they look a lot more like Frisk. How did they end up getting possessed? Chara boasted once about how easy they were to take over after Frisk started killing - _They giggle in delight as they deflect a bone, skipping out of the way of a blaster as if they knew it was going to fire right at that moment._

_“Your human friend never existed!” They yell at you gleefully. “You’re just a toy to them, like everyone else! Like Papyrus!”_

_Rage sends your eye flashing cyan and yellow, and you take them out in a hail of blaster beams. Victory does nothing for the grief that sends your chest heaving, shudders racking your body –_ and how they’d all but erased the kid. You might not be able to forgive Frisk, but you didn’t want them dead. Either way, you have to say you prefer them over Chara. At least Frisk never tried to draw it out. 

The world around you starts to disintegrate. It’s a jarring process; pieces of wall and floor swallowed up by darkness, pulled apart in uneven chunks. The red glow of Chara’s stolen soul brightens until you’re almost blind with it.

A moment later the darkness consumes you.  

 

You lean against a tree, eyelids sliding shut. Damn, you’re tired. You’re always tired. If it was up to you, you’d just stay here. Block out the world around you and try to just…sleep forever. But you’ve got a job to do.

With an exhausted sigh you straighten, locking your gaze on the door to the Ruins. Chara’s taking a while longer than they usually do, but they haven’t reset. That’s one good thing, you guess. They looked real angry last time. You grin briefly.

The door opens and you straighten, alert. They shouldn’t be able to see you, but relaxing isn’t something you can afford to do. That’s how they ended up killing you all those times. You get overconfident, you die. It doesn’t matter that you’re pretty well versed in fighting Chara. They could figure out a way to kill you, a way to surprise you and get passed, and you can’t let that happen.

You snort faintly. Not that anything much surprises you these days-

An adult human walks out.

You gape at them. You’ve never seen a human older than the kid in anything other than text books. They have to be an adult – they’re taller than you, proportions matching an adult humans. You peer closer, taking in the short messy hair and grey eyes that look around the area curiously. You flinch back when those eyes pass over you, even though you know they can’t see you.

Another human. How can that be possible? You frantically search through your memories for anything similar, for once purposely delving into your knowledge - but there’s nothing. This is the first time another human entered the Underground after Frisk, the first adult you know of since the monsters were sealed down here.

It’s a change in the timeline. For the first time in a while, you feel…hopeful.

 

They won’t stay down.

You keep killing them. They die so easily their first few tries, often more because of their own clumsiness than any actual effort on your part. You try to make it quick. It’s not the human you have a problem with, it’s what they’re protecting.

But they won’t just _step aside – like you do every time, letting Chara kill all those monsters while you pretend nothing is wrong. You smile and make your jokes and wish Papyrus didn’t know you as well as he does. There’s no point trying to stop them, they’ll just kill you too. They_ have _killed you too._

_Or, worse, they leave you alone amongst the dust and the silence. You scream and scream but nobody came. There’s no one left. You’re alone. And, for the second time, you’re grateful for the resets._

_It means it’ll be over soon.  You’ll wake up in bed, Papyrus shouting downstairs, and you’ll start the whole thing all over again with the memories of this timeline faded and quiet. For a while. But it’s better than_ this, _than being left in the dark with nothing but the echoes of the dead._

_It has to be better than this._

You shake your head, flicking a wave of bones the human’s way. They roll under it, popping back up onto their feet with a proud grin.

They look at you with bright eyes and exclaim, “Did you see that?! I totally nailed it! Whoo!” They fist pump excitedly, barely managing to dodge a blaster beam. They examine their singed hair with a pout that quickly turns into a snicker. “If you’re jealous of my hair you could’ve just _said_ so. I don’t see why; you’re rocking the bald look!” The human gives you a thumbs up. 

You suppress the grin trying to spread across you face. You shouldn’t find them funny. This is the same human who admitted to murder, who’s LV is as high as Chara’s ever gets. They’re just as bad as the kid.

Except, they never hurt anyone you loved. No one you even knew. Hell, they haven’t once tried to kill you in all the times you’ve fought. They just dodge as well as they can – _Frisk ducks around the spears, deflecting the ones that come too close with a stick. The spears shatter like glass when they come into contact with the wood, but Frisk isn't always quick enough._

 _You watch the fight, worry churning in your chest every time the kid gets cut, tracking the blood on their arms and legs. Undyne keeps trying to goad them into attacking, but they never do. They just keep showing mercy –_ and last a bit longer each time.

You thought they might give up after dying a few times. They couldn’t be that invested in getting passed you that they’d keep on killing themselves over it, right?

But they do. They meet every attack you throw at them with enthusiasm, laughing and chatting with you as if you haven’t murdered them countless times. As if the wounds you’re giving them don’t hurt.

Damn it. You’re actually starting to like them. Sure doesn’t help the guilt from repeatedly killing them, even if they don’t seem to be holding a grudge.

 

_“You can kill me all you like. I’m not giving up. I might be pretty good at dying, but I’m even better at coming back.”_

You’re shaking. You didn’t- you didn’t mean to hurt them that much. You’re supposed to kill them quickly, painlessly. Not pick them up and toss them around until the only thing keeping them upright is their soul.

They’re smiling at you as they die - after they _ask_ you to kill them because you hurt them so badly. And they look grateful. Nothing about their smiles ever seem fake or forced, nothing like yours usually are. The look happy to talk to you, happy to dodge your attacks (you can’t really say they fight you, not when they never once try to harm you).

The most you’ve seen them distressed is when you grab your skull in pain as memories of _– Frisk sobbing in your arms. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m-”_

_Bones pierce through their small body and their face contorts into shock. You grin maliciously. “Get du-_

_-you drop to your knees, eyes wide and dark. All you can see is the dust littering the snow, Papyrus’ scarf so bright against it. He’s dead. He- he’s really dead._

_They killed him._

_No, no, no! He can’t be dead! He’s Papyrus, he can’t die! Not him, not ever him!_

_Why did the kid kill him? Papyrus was only ever kind to them, befriending them and helping them as much as he could. He never tried to take their soul or harm them. He just wanted to be their friend. That’s all Papyrus ever wants: to help people. He’s so_ good _and they just- they just killed him._

_Why?! Why the hell did they-_

_-they kill every monster they come across, that empty smile rarely leaving their face. They don’t move like the kid. They hold their knife confidently as they bring it down on monster after monster, never letting up._

_You watch from a distance, horror sending shivers down your spine. They scare you. It’s more than the fact they’re a killer – it’s that they do it so easily. Enjoy it, even._

_And they’re heading straight for your brother._

_Suddenly, your nightmares are looking a whole lot more real. No, not nightmares. Mem-_

-death flash through your mind, one after the other. You can barely separate the world around you from the ones in your head.

It’s their voice that gives you something to focus on. They’re looking at you, eyebrows scrunched together and a small frown forming on their face. It’s covered in scratches, some so deep that you can see the bone under their skin, and they’re swaying slightly, legs trembling. But they’re not even reacting to the pain that must be wracking their body. Don’t seem to notice it until they try getting you some painkillers.

You broke them and they worried about _you._

You grimace and try to shove down the guilt threatening to overwhelm you. Instead, you focus on Chara. They’re staring at the human’s – you don’t even know their name, do you? Don’t even know the name of your victim – body, face eerily blank.

You wonder why they didn’t take advantage of your distracted state to kill you (at this point, you might’ve even appreciated it). Would’ve been real easy for them.

They jolt, eyes darting to you and narrowing in a glare. You look back impassively. If they wanna fight you they can go ahead. You’re not sure you’re up for fighting back right now.

Abruptly, the world dissolves.

 

They still haven’t come out.

You’re only a few feet away from the door, watching it nervously. Why are they taking so long? Usually they come out immediately, cheerfully greeting you before you start attacking them. Were they okay?

You laugh humourlessly. Great question, there. You’re the one who keeps hurting them, and you want to know if they’re _okay?_ You can’t have it both ways.

Shoulders dropping, you walk closer to the door and plant yourself on the snow, leaning back against it. Maybe you’ll be able to hear them through it, if they’re still around. You might not be able to get into the Ruins, but you could listen.

Your eyes widen when you hear Chara’s voice. They’re…they’re complaining about the Ruins. Heh. You can’t help feeling a bit pleased by that.

The human speaks then, making you start. They sound like they’re right behind you. Might even be leant up against the door in the same way.

_“No need to be such a pessimist. I’ve got this. Trust me.”_

You listen as they talk about the humans they killed, your curiosity rising. Their LV never seemed to match up with the way they behaved, maybe you’d finally be able to understand.

_“I mostly killed the same people over and over again.”_

_“Who?”_

_“My parents.”_

You tense.

_“Oh…was it…for revenge?”_

There’s a dull _thunk_ against the door and you flinch, feeling weirdly like you’d been caught doing something you shouldn’t. You shake the feeling off.

 _“No._ _They were- are, good parents, really. Couldn’t hope for better. I was just.”_ A laugh, nothing like the delighted ones you’ve gotten used to. _“I was a difficult kid to deal with. Always getting myself into trouble, running head first into danger. They did the best they could; I can’t ask for more than that.”_  

 _“Then why would you kill them?”_ Flowey, it sounds like, asks. “ _They’re your parents. Don’t you care about them?”_ A pause. _“Love them?”_

You strain to hear their reply, even though their voice is as clear as ever.

_“I…I don’t know. They loved me, so, I should’ve, right? I must’ve. How…how do you tell if you love someone?”_

Grimacing, you shove away the pity you feel forming. They just sound so _lost._ Like something as basic as the concept of love confuses them, is unfamiliar to them. Really pulled at a guy’s heartstrings; metaphorical as yours might be.

You sigh and rest you head on your raised knees. This isn’t supposed to happen. You’re not supposed to feel _bad_ for them. They’re protecting Chara – why would they do that if they’re in any way a good person? Doesn’t matter that they’re friendly and never raise a hand against you. They’re still trying to set Chara loose on the Underground.

You listen to them talk to Flowey. Never thought you’d see the flower interact with anyone without threatening them every other second, spinning lies the rest of the time. Instead, the human is the one doing the threatening, and on _behalf_ of Flowey. Crazy times you live in, huh?

Teaches you a bit more about the human too. Protective, and it doesn’t sound like they’re all that fond of Chara.

_“Chara hurt you. So I’ll hurt them. Don’t worry, I’m pretty good at it.”_

You shiver. Yep. Not fond at all.

Better not get on their bad side yourself. If, well, you aren't already on it. Hard to imagine you can do much worse at this stage. 

 

You don’t mean to fall asleep.

You sit there, waiting for the human to come out, but they don’t. They’ve either moved away and you didn’t hear it, or they decided to sit around in silence. Maybe have a nap. You planned to just wait it out, idly scanning the tree line, but somehow you managed to drift off yourself.

You wake up to a snow tail and a beaming human. It’s easier than it should be to talk to them, joking around as if you haven’t repeatedly murdered them. They’re good at making you feel guilty, even if it’s completely unintentional. Then they try to make you feel better about it. You’ve never heard the blasters be called ‘laser dragons’ of all things.

The human is pretty funny, really. They even manage to get you to lighten up a bit. It’s probably the longest conversation you’ve had for dozens of resets. Your social skills are gonna get rusty.

Then they drop the proverbial bomb; they’ve spoken to Gaster. It should be impossible – the guy was erased, torn from everyone’s memories - but they’re not lying. How else would they know his name? It’s not exactly common knowledge.

And suddenly, you’ve got a plan. An unlikely, bullshit, out of nowhere plan that just might work.

Worth a shot. What’ve you got to lose? A never-ending future of confining Chara to the Ruins, knowing that they’ll spend each reset slaughtering the monsters you can’t save? Wishing you could just stop caring, stop wanting to do what little you can?

You’ll take whatever chance you can to get out of this purgatory. Even if you have to bet on an insane human who doesn’t even seem to be taking this seriously. They probably don’t care about the lives Chara will keep on taking, the monsters Chara is all too happy to kill.

You don’t know what their angle is, and it frustrates you. The best you can come up with is that they want to end the resets so that they can explore the Underground. That much, they'd told you. After that, what will they do? Adult humans are far more dangerous than kids, even ones like Chara, and you can’t quantify the amount of damage the human could be capable of if they put their mind to it. Something like a conscience isn’t going to hold them back, and you don’t know if you’re strong enough to stop them if they actually fought you seriously.

It has to be better than this, though. Anyone would be better than Chara.

Right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huh. This wasn't really supposed to be so long, and it isn't even up to date on current events in the Glitchverse. *shrugs* Ah, hopefully it was entertaining and gave some insight into what Sans is thinking. 
> 
> Your comments are so much fun to read! I usually reply to all of them, in case you leave one and want to know what I said. I'm glad you guys liked the drama and fluff of the last two chapters - they were fun to write :D


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The murder buddies are back together.
> 
> (things are getting weird...er)

“Isn’t this _sweet?”_

Chara jumps back from you and glares over at Flowey. He smiles at them innocently.

“Finally decided to show up?" they say sharply. "I was beginning to think the skeleton had scared you off.”

You wave at Flowey with a bright grin. “Nice to see you again! Get up to anything fun?”

He raises his leaves in a shrug. “Nope. Nothing compared to the two of you, anyway.”

You shift awkwardly. “Yeah, that was…that sure was something. Well!” You push yourself to your feet. “No use in sitting around here.”

Chara accepts the hand you offer them, letting you pull them upright. You’re surprised when they don’t let go, avoiding your questioning look. You glance at Flowey and see the shock that flickers across his face. Chara’s really acting differently, huh?

“How come you were hanging around here, anyway?” you ask. Frisk fell before you, didn’t they?

“We waited for you. Frisk said,” they pause, eyebrows furrowing. They give an exasperated huff and pull their hand away, posture shifting abruptly to one you’re starting to associate with Frisk.

“I don’t like waking up alone,” they sign. “It’s scary. This time you had us. And we needed to tell you that we’re not going to hurt anyone again. You don’t need to-” Their hands tremble slightly, making it more difficult for you to translate. “You don’t need to hurt yourself. We understand. We won’t do it again. Promise.”

You crouch down in front of them so that you’re on level with their anxious face. “Hey, I believe you,” you assure them.  And you mean it. You don’t think that Chara suddenly had a change of heart and realised that killing is wrong.

 _You_ never did, not really. They’ve decided to stop for another reason. In your case it was a yearning for something new, figuring out how much better things would be if you didn’t hurt other people. For Chara, they seem to have decided that your life is worth more than the deaths of the monsters they encounter. You’re not sure _why_ they value you even slightly, but it makes you…happy. To know that they care about you.

“Piggy back ride?” you offer with a raised brow and a grin.

Their face instantly brightens and they raise their arms expectantly. You chuckle and turn around, feeling them clamber onto your back without hesitation. You hold onto their legs as you stand up, and make sure they’re secure.

“Comfy?”

Frisk lets go of your neck with one hand in order to make a thumbs up in front of your face, brushing against your nose.   

You peer down at Flowey who’s watching the two of you with a blank expression. You scratch your cheek. “Uh, I’m guessing you’d like an update? In case you didn’t see everything? Well, we did Papyus’ puzzles – fun guy, very good at making puzzles, _fantastic_ fashion sense – and I think I was in Snowdin for a while? Nice burgers. I’ll have to get another next time we pass through, maybe actually pay this time. Anyway, Chara killed Papyrus so I stabbed myself and, uh,” you shrug, “here we are.”

Flowey gawks at you. “What- you’re a disaster. A complete, utter disaster. I can’t leave you alone for a couple of minutes without someone _dying._ Usually _you.”_

You smile sheepishly. “At least I killed myself this time?”

“That doesn’t make it better!”

You hear a quiet giggle from Frisk. You have to cross your eyes in order to see the signs they make. “Were you worried about them Flowey? It sounds like you were.”

Flowey scowls. “I wasn’t _worried-_ wait.” He frowns. “Frisk? How are you conscious?”

“Chara let me.”

He just looks more confused. You step over to him and offer an arm. “Want a ride? I figure we should try leaving the Ruins again.” You wince. “I’m not sure how happy Sans will be to see us, though.”

Flowey hesitates before beginning to remove his roots from the ground. “Sure. You know that Toriel will be alive again, don’t you?” He puts on a mocking grin as he climbs up to your shoulder, leaving as much space as he can between him and Frisk. “Your last meeting with her didn’t go so well, did it? Try not to get the both of us fried.”

You salute. “Will do. I’ll just avoid-”

“Toriel _killed_ you?!” Chara exclaims, their arms tightening around your neck. “Why did she do that?!”

You start walking, adjusting to the slight weight as you think. “She wanted to know why I was down here and I said I was looking for you, and she got upset. Told me to go back. And since I couldn’t exactly do that, she, uh, burned me to death.”

“…burned you to death.”

“Yup. One of my quicker fire-related deaths, to be honest. She makes really hot flames, doesn’t she? Much better than the time I got caught in that forest fire, or when that house burnt down, or the fire tornado, or-”

Flowey’s vines squeeze your arm. “They get it.”

You blink at him. “Oh, uh, okay. Anyway, I’ll just make sure not to bring you up this time. Wait. Does she like human kids? She’s not going to attack you, is she?”

You feel Chara rest their head on top of yours. “No. She doesn’t…she only fights us if we try to leave. And even then she doesn’t want to hurt us.”

You step into the first of the purple rooms, deciding to walk slowly up the steps this time so you don’t jolt either of your passengers. “That’s good, I guess. But what do you mean about only fighting when you leave?”

They sigh. “Toriel doesn’t want to see any more kids die.”

“More kids?”

They snicker. “You really are clueless, huh? There’s been six children before Frisk that fell into the Underground. Each of them had their souls either taken by, or taken _to_ King Asgore. He needs seven of them to break the barrier.”

“Lucky number,” you murmur. Things just keep getting more dramatic, don’t they? “I’m guessing you just load whenever he catches you, then?”

They scoff. “No one’s come _close_ to taking our soul in ages.”

“What about Sans?”

“He’s not interested in getting our soul. He just wants to trap us here. Well,” they continue brightly. “Until you came along. You really switched things up around here – it’s a lot more interesting now!”

“Glad to be of service.”

You pause in front of the puzzle door after stepping on the tiles. Toriel probably won’t be on the other side, but you’re going to stumble across her sooner or later. Probably sooner. You sigh faintly. You’ll just have to start pretending a little again, that’s all. You can do that.

“Hold on tight,” you instruct Chara, waiting until they do so before letting go of one leg. You pull the lever and push open the door.

No Toriel. You relax and start walking again. The path is familiar after the couple of times you strolled through here, and you don’t rush as much as you did last time. Getting Chara to the extractor is still your end goal but…there’s no harm in enjoying the journey, is there?

When you get to the rock puzzle Frisk (going by the lack of talking) taps your shoulder excitedly. You chuckle and say, “You wanna have a go, Frisk?”

The put their fist in front of your eyes and move it up and down. Your smile widens. “Okay, I’ll just set you down here.” You crouch and feel them slide down with a giggle.

They jog over to the rocks and begin pushing the two inanimate ones onto the tiles, huffing in effort. Their persistence makes you snicker. “Want some help?”

They shake their head, making a pincer-like movement with one hand by putting their index and middle finger to their thumb. “No. I can do it!”

You raise your hands in surrender. “Sure thing.”

Frisk manages to get the first rock onto the tile, spinning around to beam at you proudly. You give them a thumbs up. They hurry on to the next one.

“You really didn’t get up to anything?” you ask Flowey softly.

He starts, petals brushing against your cheek. “Heh. Guess you’re smarter than you look.”

You hum. “I’m just good at noticing evasion.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. “I went to Alphys’ lab to-”

The room flickers. You jolt, eyes wide as you take in the way the air shimmers, fading in and out like a bad signal. Frisk runs over to you and grabs your hand, a look of panic on their face. You pull them closer to you when the area in front of you starts to dissolve.

“What’s happening?!” Flowey cries.

“Not a clue,” you say, taking a step back from the empty blackness only to hit the wall. Guess you’re not going anywhere after all.

“I didn’t reset!” Chara’s eyes are frantic as they dart from you to the darkness. “This shouldn’t be happening!”

There’s a rush of air and you’re no longer in the Underground. The three of you are standing in the middle of a grassy field, the sun setting on the horizon and turning the sky a vibrant orange.

“We’re…outside?” Flowey says, his voice soft with awe.  

“I-I think so,” murmurs Chara. They let go of your hand to take a step forward, kneeling down and pulling out some grass. They examine it curiously. 

You raise your eyes from them in order to look around properly – and that’s when you spot it. Dotted across the field are dozens, no, _hundreds_ of holes dug into the ground, placed without any obvious pattern, dirt piled up near them. You swallow as you realise where you are.

“What’s with all the holes?” Chara asks.

You open your mouth – to answer? You don’t really know – when there’s a yell of frustration. You freeze, even as Chara and Flowey turn to see what caused the noise.  You hear their sharp intakes of breath.

You roll your shoulders and look to your right. A little ways down the slight incline is a panting human, a grimace stretching across their face as they try to keep their hold on a shovel despite their shaking arms. Sweat pours down their face, their shirt soaked with it, and dirt covers their body. Blood slides down the handle of the shovel from cuts on their hands. They adjust their grip and stubbornly push the shovel into the earth, stamping down on in to make it go further in, heaving with the effort.

“Isn’t that…you?” Chara says, confusion clouding their voice. 

You plaster on a smile. “Yep. One of my earlier loops by the looks of it. I barely remember this place.”

The other you doesn’t react to your words, even though they should be able to hear it. So, you haven’t actually managed to travel to a loop. You’re just seeing what happened, somehow. Is this part of the whole, universe-falling-apart thing that Gaster mentioned? The loops were always separate from Chara’s resets – maybe they’re aligning?

Or things could just be so fucked up that time and space don’t make any sense whatsoever. That’s possible too.

Chara walks closer to the other you, and you follow reluctantly. They go to poke the human’s shoulder only for their hand to pass through. They jump back. “Weird,” they say. “What are you doing, anyway? Why all the holes?”

The other you is hunched over, the hole up to their waist, and they continue chucking dirt over the side. They pause for a moment to wipe away the sweat dripping into their eyes, muttering, “Not deep enough.”

You look around. There’s a road a ten minute walk away, where there’ll be a stolen car abandoned by the side. This place is in the middle of nowhere, really; the nearest town doesn’t even have a school. You don’t know why the field is left as it is. Maybe it’s used for grazing animals at some other point in the year.

“Avery?”

“They’re graves.”

Chara spins around to look at you. “Graves? Why-why are you digging _graves?”_ They give a half-hearted attempt at a laugh. “Did you really kill this many people?” they ask, gesturing at the couple hundred holes. 

You close your eyes, taking in the smell of dirt and sweat. You didn’t like to remember this day – _days,_ really, you were out here for a long time before you collapsed from exhaustion – all that much.

“They’re for me. I wanted to…I wanted to feel like my deaths meant something. Like they were real. There's always funerals and graves for people that matter, so I thought…why not make my own? I’d never get to actually have either, after all.”

You smile. “One for every death. That was the goal. I didn’t manage it, though.” You shrug nonchalantly, glancing tiredly at the graves littering the field. “I passed out before I got close, and I woke up in a new loop. Ruined all my hard work.”

Chara shudders, wrapping their arms around their body and looking at the ground. “I don’t like it here. It…it’ll stop soon, won’t it?”

“No idea. This has never happened to me before.”

“We’re not gonna get stuck here, are we?” Flowey asks nervously.

“Hopefully not,” you say cheerily. “It’s not very entertaining, is it?” You look at Chara, expecting them to agree with you, maybe make a snide commend about how pathetic you are.

Instead they’re shaking slightly, lips tugged into a frown. You blink, before flopping down on the grass and patting the ground next to you. “Want to sit it out instead, Chara? You’ll get tired just standing around like that.”

Quietly, they walk over to you and take a seat. The sound of dirt shifting and exhausted huffs fill the air. The silence from both Flowey and Chara feels strange to you.

“Hey, Flowey,” you start. “I’m going to lie down; do you mind shifting a bit?”

He bobs his head and moves out of the way so that you can recline without squishing him. You peer up at the two of them as they eye you curiously. You grin. “What’s with all the staring? Don’t you know there’s better things to be looking at?” You point up at the sky with the arm that Flowey isn’t on. “I bet it’s been a long time since either of you saw the sky. We may as well enjoy it while we’re here, right?”

Flowey turns his face upwards and you see him relax. You give Chara a hopeful look, and they scoff at you. “I don’t care about the sky. It’s not very interesting.”

“Come ooon, give it a try,” you cajole, dropping your hand back onto the grass. “You might be surprised.”

They manage to resist for a few more seconds before giving in, shuffling around and flumping onto their back, head cushioned on your arm. When you get over your surprise you shift it into a more comfortable position for them.

The sky is almost clear apart from the wispy clouds trailing across it, each of them lit up by the glow of the sun. Shades of orange and yellow paint the sky in broad strokes, and the first few stars are just becoming visible as the sun sinks lower.  

“It looks nice,” Chara admits grudgingly.

You chuckle. “Yeah. It does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, I'm not completely happy with this chapter. May have to come back and edit it properly later.
> 
> Thus marks the start of time shenanigans. It's only gonna get trippier from here on out. 
> 
> Oh, I'm considering a Sans/Avery pairing in the future - as in, it'll probably be another 50k or more before it progresses from more than a close friendship. Shall be the slowest of burns. So, yeah, any of you interested in that? If it felt unnatural when I was writing it I'd stop, though; fair warning. And it wouldn't become the main focus of the story - I have waaay too much plot coming up for that, although developing relationships throughout the story is important to me (as in, friendships too). 
> 
> Ah, and I made a tumblr blog at http://nythtak.tumblr.com/ At the moment it's just got a couple of random sketches of Avery (not the best artist but hey, I had a go), and if I have time I'll add more stuff like any prompts/shorts, plus news about updates, or anything that comes to mind really. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask.


	24. Chara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You share control with Frisk. It's...different.

Between one blink and the next the Ruins flash back into existence, leaving you lying on the hard rock floor, only Avery’s arm separating you from it. You blink up at the ceiling that abruptly replaced an orange sky. It feels like it’s been centuries since either of you have seen a sky like that – it _has_ been for you, if you don’t count Frisk’s memories. Reluctantly, you admit that it was nice to see it again, even if the circumstances weren’t exactly ideal.

Avery stands up, gently pulling you with them. You’ve noticed that a lot; they’re always really careful when touching anyone, as if they expect you to push them away at the slightest contact. Or that you’ll break. It goes against how carefree they always act.

You think you’re getting better at seeing through it, though. That field with all the graves…it was obvious that Avery was bothered by it, their smile barely held together. Frisk shivers and you shove away your own unease. You’re glad the – whatever it was, ended quickly.

“Well! As fun as that side trip was, we should really get going, shouldn’t we?” Avery strolls over to the third rock – the one that can talk - and says, “Hi there, would you mind sitting on that tile until we’ve crossed over the spikes?”

Your eyes narrow. They’re just going to pretend nothing happened? That you didn’t just see a younger version of them digging their own grave?

_How did that even happen? Their loops are separate from the resets, aren’t they?_

You frown. You were able to touch some things; you pulled grass from the ground and felt it bend beneath you when you were laying down. But your hand just passed through the other Avery, as if you were a ghost. It was like you were simultaneously there and not there. It didn’t make sense!

Crossing your arms, you glare at Avery. “You’re kidding, right? You’re not actually going to ignore what just happened?”

They scratch the back of their neck, lips turning up into their customary light-hearted smile. “I’m not ignoring it. There just isn’t really anything I can do about it, so I figure, why worry about what you can’t change? We may as well get a move on.”

You gape at them. They’re just- just accepting it?! “But it- that wasn’t _normal._ First Sans remembers every previous timeline, then you fall down here, and now _this."_ You throw your arms up to emphasise your point. “Why is it happening? What’s the cause?”

“You really expect them to know?” Asriel smirks at you from his perch on Avery’s shoulder. You glower at him. “They aren’t exactly the brightest crayon in the box.”

Avery snickers. “I’d take offence to that if it wasn’t true. I’m no genius. I might’ve read a lot but none of it covers-” they wiggle their fingers “-super special magical time anomalies, or whatever that was. I guess we’ll have to deal with them as they come.”

Frustrated, you glare at the floor. They’re right. You don’t know what’s going on, and you can’t think of a way to figure it out other than to just wait and see.

_Maybe Sans will know? He has those machines that monitor timelines, or something like that, doesn’t he?_

You snort. Yeah, like he’d tell you anything.

_He…he might. We’re not going to hurt anyone, so maybe-_

He’ll still hate the both of you. He’s not just going to forget the way you killed his friends, his _brother,_ Frisk. It's only because Avery lied to him that you even got out of the Ruins.

_They can ask him. They got along okay with Sans, didn’t they?_

You guess. He did threaten them a lot, though.

Frisk giggles. _So do you._

You scowl. Shut up.

“Oh, my.”

Your head snaps up. Toriel is standing just inside the room, her eyes wide with shock as she stares at Avery.

They quickly get over their own surprise. Their shoulders slump and they subtly turn their palms towards Toriel as they give her a warm smile, head ducked down a little. “Hi! I’m Avery; it’s nice to meet you.”

“Hello,” Toriel says faintly, looking baffled. Then, wariness begins to creep into her expression. 

_Avery said that Toriel killed them before!_

Frisk seizes control of your body, and after a moment of hesitation you back off. It’s an odd feeling, sliding to the back of your shared mind and feeling your body move without being the one to make it do so. Uncomfortable, but not horrible.

Frisk darts forwards to Avery’s side, positioning themselves slightly in front of them. Toriel focuses on the two of you instead, her gaze softening.

“Hello! I’m Frisk. You’re very pretty,” Frisk signs with a bright grin. You snicker mentally. You’d forgotten how much of a flirt Frisk is.

It comes in handy now, anyway. Toriel smiles at you, “Thank you, my child. That is kind of you to say.” She glances at Avery. “How is it that the two of you came to be down here? Are there…are there any other humans?”

She’s scared, you realise. Avery makes her feel threatened. You don’t blame her. Toriel is a strong enough monster that she can probably sense Avery’s soul, so she knows how dangerous they are.

_Could be. They’re not going to hurt anyone._

How can you be so sure, Frisk?

_I…I’ve decided to. I want to trust them. So, I’m going to._

It’s not that easy.

_It is._

“We fell,” Frisk signs. “It’s just us.”

Toriel lets out a relieved sigh. Some of the sharpness leaches from her expression when she looks at Avery this time. “I apologise for my poor manners. My name is Toriel, and I am the caretaker of these Ruins. It is a pleasure to meet you both.”

“Ah, it’s fine,” Avery says casually. “Not the first time I’ve-” They stop themselves, smile faltering for a moment before it returns. “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking, why are you so, uh, worried about humans?”

Toriel frowns and clasps her paws in front of her. “Humans have not been kind to monsters in the past, and I was unsure about how to address an adult.” Her expression hardens slightly. “Do you mean any harm to those who live in the Underground?”

It’s kind of funny. She’s so cautious of what Avery might do, when _you’re_ the one who’s murdered her dozens of times. You’re the bigger danger here, and she doesn’t even realise it. Technically, Avery is even protecting her from you with that little deal you made.

It’s a good thing you’re not the one currently controlling your body; you might not be able to stop laughing. 

“Nope,” Avery says, “I’m harmless, me. Once I got-” they cut themselves off again, this time barely reacting. “Never mind. Not really relevant.”

Toriel still looks mildly dubious, but she lets it go. “Then I welcome the two of you to the Underground.”

“Thank you.” Frisk points at Asriel. You’re surprised he kept quiet for so long. “This is Flowey. He told us about the Underground.”

You snicker. A hail of bullets is definitely one way to ‘tell’ someone about the Underground. You weren’t even conscious back then, but from Frisk’s memories you know that event made them scared of the other monsters in the Underground. Toriel attacking them only made it worse.

Frisk flinches, pressing closer to Avery as the sensation of burning flashes through your shared mind. After a moment a hand settles on your shoulder. The warmth of their palm sinks through your sweater. It makes the both of your feel…better.

Toriel peers at Asriel. “I do not believe I have seen you around the Ruins before.”

Asriel gives her a friendly smile. “I like to keep to myself.”

“Introverts unite!” Avery grins, losing their hunched posture as they offer Asriel a fist bump. They wiggle their hand until, with a put-upon sigh, Asriel taps a leaf against it. You watch, feeling oddly numb.  

Toriel chuckles, drawing both yours and Avery’s attention. “Perhaps…If you like, you may rest at my home? It has…it has been a while since I last had any guests,” she says, loneliness creeping into her voice.

“Yes! Please,” Frisk signs quickly. You feel the guilt radiating from them and give them a mental shove. Toriel’s alive now, why feel bad about it? She doesn’t even remember.

_But I remember._

Get over it, then. You can’t change it.

_I can do better._

Frisk grabs Avery’s hand – no more hesitating, huh? How bold – and drags them towards Toriel. They go along with a chuckle, returning the grip. You feel a thrum of happiness from Frisk and try to stay unaffected. It doesn’t work.

The journey through the Ruins is boring after so many resets and being trapped here. You guess that’s why you tune out of Toriel’s explanation of how the puzzles work, and how to fight monsters by sparing them. You hate listening to the same spiel over and over again. You practically have it memorised by now.

It _is_ interesting to see how Avery reacts.

They delight in pulling all the levers on the wall, even the ones that aren’t marked, glancing over their shoulder to catch Toriel’s exasperated reaction. The teasing grin they send you makes Frisk giggle, whilst you roll your eyes.

Then Toriel leads them to the dummy. They blink at it. “I’m supposed to fight an inanimate object? At least I can’t lose. I hope,” they add in a mutter.

Toriel shakes her head. “No, you do not need to fight the monsters who may attack you. Instead, why not try talking to them? Stall for time, and I shall soon arrive to aid you.”

“That’s nice of you, and all, but what happens if you’re not around?”

Toriel gives them a confused look. “It is unlikely I will ever be far; the Ruins are not a large place, after all.”

“And…outside of the Ruins?”

She smiles. “Let us focus on the dummy for now. Please, go ahead.”

Avery examines Toriel, brows scrunched together, before their easy-going smile returns. “Okey-dokey.” They walk over to the dummy, pausing for a moment. Then they dip into an elaborate bow. “It is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance, fair dummy.” They look up, mouth tilted in a charming grin. “Might you honour me with your words?”

The dummy doesn’t reply. Frisk laughs quietly, their amusement mingling with your own. Such a weirdo.

Avery straightens and looks over at Toriel. “How’d I do?”

“Very good,” she replies. She doesn’t look nearly as tense as she did earlier. Avery is good at that, you realise. Getting people to drop their guards. Are they manipulating you the same way?

Avery fist pumps. “Awesome!”

Toriel doesn’t leave you behind like she usually does. Instead she takes you straight to her house, using short cuts you know by heart. Avery peppers her with questions – Why are there so many puzzles? What’s that monster called? Are there types of monsters? How long have you been here? What’s your favourite colour? – the entire way there, but she doesn’t get annoyed, even answering most of them.

You like the changes to your usual runs. At first you enjoyed the fact that you knew what was going to happen before it did, that you could predict every action and consequence. You experimented with the possibilities when you took control from Frisk. They hadn’t shied away from killing in order to find something new, but they didn’t find it fun like you. They even felt _guilty,_ even though they knew that everyone would be brought back by the time of the next reset.

But you eventually ran out of choices. It was the same game over and over again, with so little variation left for you to explore. You got bored. You had the most fun messing with Sans since he knew about the resets, but even he couldn’t entertain you forever.

_Keeping us down here…we deserved it._

You shrug inwardly. It didn’t matter if you _deserved_ it. You’re not going to be stuck down here anymore, and Avery is your ticket out.

_Is that all they are?_

You ignore Frisk.

The sight of Toriel’s house brings a wave of discomfort. You don’t like being here. Too many memories. You hastily shove them down before Frisk can see, pushing forward to take control of your body. Frisk protests but you tune them out. They’ve had control for long enough, anyway. It’s your turn.

“Perhaps you would like to rest? I can prepare food for you after you get some sleep, if you like,” Toriel offers as she opens the front door.

“That’d be great, thank you!” Avery enthuses. 

She smiles. “You are very welcome.”

You let yourself be led to the familiar bedroom. You remember staying here when you fell, lying in that bed until you recovered. You weren’t hurt nearly as badly as you should’ve been, but you wouldn’t have left the bed anyway. Messing up killing yourself didn’t exactly leave you in high spirits. If it wasn’t for Asriel constantly bugging you…

Shaking off those thoughts, you sit down on the end of the bed. It still feels the same.

“I am sorry that I cannot accommodate the both of you,” Toriel says from the doorway.

You hear Avery pad into the room. “No problem. I’m young and spy – my back’s practically made for lying on floors!”

As if to prove their point they flop down, lying spread-eagled on the ground. You see Asriel sink into the floor and settle by the dresser, keeping Avery between the two of you. Still such a scaredy cat, huh.  

Avery catches your eye and beams. You snort and lie down on your side as Toriel leaves with a soft, “Sleep well.”

“I’m not giving you a pillow,” you tell them.

“That’s fine. I’ve slept in way worse conditions than this.”

“Like what?”

“Hmm, there was that time I stowed away in the cargo hold of a ship. It was absolutely freezing and, ah, there weren’t exactly any toilets around. Combine that with sea sickness and I was pretty miserable.”

“Gross.”

They laugh. “Yeah, sure was.”

“Why were you on a ship in the first place?” Asriel asks. You're surprised he decided to speak up. 

“No idea. I’d never been on one, I think? And going to some faraway place sounded like fun.”

You wonder how much Avery’s done on the Surface. They’ve been up there for a long time with all their loops. There has to be more options there than in the Underground; you doubt they’ve done everything possible. They can’t have.

Avery falls asleep within a couple of minutes. Don’t they realise how vulnerable they are like that? It would be so easy for you to kill them before they could even wake up. How can they trust you like that? You’re a killer.

Quietly, you slide off the bed and kneel by their side. You don’t have your knife with you, but now you know they keep a weapon on them too.

You carefully reach into their pocket, freezing when they shift. Your eyes dart to their face. Still asleep. Your fingers wrap around the knife and you slowly take it out.

_What are you doing?!_

You find the small button and press down on it, starting when the blade flicks out.

You’re doing what you should’ve done in the beginning. Everyone around you dies; that’s how it’s supposed to be. You can’t keep pretending it isn't.

_Chara, don’t!_

You clench your fist around the knife and aim it at Avery’s chest. Your hand is trembling.

You need to do this! They’re using you, they have to be! Letting them live is a mistake! It doesn’t matter if you _want_ them around. They probably made you feel that way. They’re just going to hurt you, sooner or later.

Frisk batters against you mind as they try to gain control over your body. The most they can do is hold you in place. You grit your teeth and try to fight them off, straining against them. Let go, Frisk! This is _your_ body now, remember? Not Frisk's. 

_Please, Chara! Don’t do this!_

“You might wanna adjust your aim a bit there, kiddo.”

You jolt back. Avery grins sleepily at you, stifling a yawn with one hand. What are they going to do? You’re the one with the knife, they can’t do anything to you. They’re defenceless.

“If you’re gonna stab someone, the chest isn’t the best place for it,” they say idly. “You probably won’t get the heart on your first try. Here, lemme show you.”

Gently, their hand closes around your own. They rest the blade against their throat. “This is a pretty good place. Easy to access and see what you’re doing, y’know? Have to make sure you sever the artery though, otherwise I’ll be able to hang on for a bit.” They shrug, causing the knife to scrape their skin. Blood beads around the cut. “Unless that’s what you want. The femoral artery will kill me quickly, if that’s more your style. And remember; it’s up, not across the artery. Bleed out faster that way. 

“If you _are_ going for pain, then I’d recommend a stomach wound.” They move the knife down to rest against their midsection. “It’ll take me a while to die from that. If you really want to mess me up, try to puncture one of my lungs. Not both though – otherwise I’ll pass out and won’t be able to feel anything.”

Your eyes are stuck on the blood at their throat. Frisk stops trying to take control, but you can’t move. It’s only a little blood. Nothing like what happened before. But you could make it more, if you wanted to. And they’d just let you. They wouldn’t even try to fight back.

Avery peers at you curiously. “Well?”

You set down the knife and drop your head to their chest. They let out a huff of air, but a second later a hand settles on your back. They're warm. You noticed that before, when you hugged them and they gave you a piggy back ride. They always seem to be warm. 

“Sorry,” you mutter. You keep saying that lately. Do you really mean it?

“It’s okay. Let’s just…get some sleep, hey?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhh I had so much trouble writing this chapter. Originally it was Avery POV but that just wasn't happening, so I switched to Chara's and it went a bit better. Still annoyed with it. *sigh* I hope you guys like it anyway.
> 
> So, people are pretty mixed on the possible Sans/Avery. That's fine; it's not something I need to decide now, I just want to get some feedback on it :) We just finished up part one of the fic, and any romance wouldn't start up until like, mid-part three, and there's a bunch of other stuff planned for then as well. Besides, first they actually need to be close friends. So yeah, no need to flee in terror just yet if it ain't your jam. 
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! Oh, and thanks to the people who followed me on tumblr!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a chat with Sans. It goes better than you were expecting.

You wake up before Chara does. They’re lying mostly on you, head tucked under your chin whilst your hand is still on their back. You guess it’s a good thing you’re an easy sleeper, and one who doesn’t tend to move much.  

Carefully, you shift them until you can sit up, before hooking an arm under their knees and lifting them. They shuffle in their sleep but, thankfully, aren’t woken up.

It takes a bit of manoeuvring to move the sheets back and lay them down on the bed. A smile flickers across your face at the sight of their hand gripping your sweater. You loosen their hold one finger at a time, making sure you don’t wake them.

Finally, you manage to tuck them in. They roll over with a deep sigh as you take a step back.

“Why’d you let them do that?” Flowey asks softly.

You jolt and turn around. He’s watching you with a confused frown. You shrug before bending down to pick up your switchblade. “Dying isn’t a big deal to me, remember? Chara can kill me if they really want to.” You stuff your knife into your pocket after flicking the blade back down.

“Wouldn’t you get angry if they did? If they killed you over and over again…how could you forgive that?”

You brush a hand through your hair. “I just do. I can’t bring myself to care about that sort of thing anymore. I know it’s not, healthy or normal. I know I should care more. But I just don’t value my life, and I haven’t for a while.”

Flowey scoffs. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Sure am.” You lift your arms over your head in a stretch, feeling your spine crackle unpleasantly. “I’m gonna go for a wander. Want to come with?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll keep an eye on Chara.”

You raise a brow. “Really?”

His smile widens. “Yep. Don’t worry about me; I’ll be just fine!”

“If you say so. I’ll see you later.”

You head out the room, rolling your shoulders to release some of the tension there. It was odd that Flowey was willingly staying near Chara. What’s changed? Chara might’ve promised not to hurt anyone, but Flowey didn’t strike you as the type who trusted easily.

You considered whether he might be planning on killing them, before dismissing the thought. He wouldn’t gain anything from it; you’d all just be sent back to the start of another reset, and Chara would be happy to return the favour. It’d be pointless.

It’s odd to see the house as clean as it is now, since the last time you were here it was trashed. It’s a nice place, if a bit big for one person.

Your chat with Toriel was…interesting. You could tell she was still wary as the five of you headed to her house, but she gradually relaxed over the course of the journey. She answered most of the questions you posed to her, and you quickly changed the subject if she seemed too uncomfortable. Most of your questions were pretty inane due to that. Still, you feel a little more informed about the Underground than you were before.

You pause at the end of the hallway. You can see Toriel sitting in the living room, engrossed in the book on her lap. You could talk to her some more. You think you’d like to relax for a couple of days, and knowing your host better would be a good idea.

But, you’ll need to move on from here sometime, and to do that you need to have a talk with Sans.

You walk down the staircase to the basement. It’s kind of odd that Toriel’s house is directly above the only entrance to the rest of the Underground. She told you that when the monsters were first forced into the Underground they’d built up a small city here, but soon it became overcrowded, so they’d spread out from the Ruins to populate everywhere else. Snowdin didn’t have many monsters at all compared to places like New Home and Hotland.

The size of the Underground still surprises you. The mountain couldn’t be big enough for it, and so many changes in climate are impossible in such a small space.

You snort. Right, you forgot about magic. The answer to all your questions, it seems like. You’d find it annoying if it wasn’t so cool.  

You’ve lost count of the number of times you’ve opened the purple door. It’s nothing new, but you still examine the Delta rune engraved above it. It’s an interesting design. The fact that there are no traces of it above ground is odd. It’s like humanity completely erased the monsters’ existence as much as they could. There might be a few local legends you hadn’t heard, or something like that, but there’s nothing else as far as you can tell.

It wasn’t enough to lock the monsters away. They had to forget they even existed.

How did humans manage do create the barrier in the first place? Humans might have souls and Determination, but can that really stand a chance against the monster’s magic? A thousand years ago they wouldn’t even have had guns and other modern weaponry to help them. Was it a case of humanity outnumbering the monsters? Or are humans really as dangerous as the monsters seem to think?

You drop your head to the door with a dull _thunk._ You wanted to ask Toriel more about the war since she seemed to have been around for it, but she’d gotten so uncomfortable you stopped.

It’s crazy to think she’s really that old. You guess that’s the human in you talking, though. Technically you’ve lived for way longer than any human should, if your rough calculations are right. Couple of centuries, at least; maybe more. It’s hard to keep track when everything just starts over again after a few months.

There’s a knock on the door.

You pull back from it. It doesn’t take a genius to guess who’s on the other side. Still, you grin a little. “Who’s there?”

After a pause, he says, “Lettuce.”

“Lettuce who?”

“Lettuce in, it’s cold out here.”

You snicker. “Sure thing.” You pull the door open.

Sans blinks up at you. “Uh. Wasn’t actually expecting you to open the door.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” you ask, eyebrow raised.

“Doesn’t matter.” He peers past you, looking down the corridor. “Been wondering what’s taking you so long.” The white dots of his eyes meet yours, his forehead creased in concern. “You doing alright? That last death…well, couldn’t’ve been fun for you.”

“I’m fine,” you say with a grin. When he doesn’t look convinced you continue, “I told you I’ve killed myself a bunch of times. I’m used to it. What about you?” You wince. “I’m, um, I’m sorry about Papyrus. I didn’t think Chara would do that.”

“Yeah. Me neither,” he says flatly. “Speaking of, where are they?”

“In bed. Things have been a bit hectic so I thought some sleep would be a good idea.”

His eyes dim. “Bit disrespectful, ain’t it? Sleeping in the home of someone you murdered.”

“Murdered? Oh, you mean Toriel!” You wave a hand. “She’s fine. Upstairs reading a book last I saw her.”

Sans gapes at you, shoulders slumping. “She’s alive?”

“Yep. I struck up a deal with Chara; they don’t kill anyone, and I don’t, uh, kill myself.” You scratch your cheek. “Seems to be working out so far.”

He chuckles humourlessly. “That easy, huh?”

“I know! It’s weird, right?” You flail a hand to emphasise your point. “Why would anyone care if I kill myself or not? I was just taking a wild shot in the dark, really. If I was wrong, no biggie. If I was _right_ , well, Papyrus doesn’t stay dead for very long.”   

“Why d’you care if he stays dead?” he asks seriously. “You don’t even know him and- you’re a killer, aren’t you?”

You frown. “Yeah, I’ve killed people. Not for a while now, but it was practically all I did for a long time. I won’t give you a lecture about how I’ve changed.” You shrug. “I’m still a bad person. I’m just…a bad person who’s decided to act good. That’s all.”

You gaze drifts away from his, settling on your arm. The letters might still be cut into your skin. You don’t know how they could last through resets and loads, but you like the permanence of them.

“Taking away Chara’s ability and dying is still my end goal. I just…I guess I just don’t want to leave behind a world without cool people like Papyrus.”

You’re getting picky about the way you die. It’s been an impossibility for so long that it’s difficult for you to give it your full focus. You’re so used to purposely distracting yourself – you’ve been doing it for centuries just to retain some semblance of sanity – that getting caught up in other people’s lives is automatic. It doesn’t help that they’re all so _interesting._

You chuckle sheepishly, looking at Sans. It’s hard to read his expression. “I hope that makes sense.”

Slowly, his permanent smile softens. “Not really. Still, can’t say I’m not grateful you’ve managed to put a leash on the kid. Guess I should have more faith in you.”

“I wouldn’t if I were you. I always seem to disappoint people,” you say lightly. Before he can say anything you continue, “So, are you going to come in, or not?”

He casts a longing look over your shoulder before taking a step back, shaking his head. “Nah. Tori probably wouldn’t react all that well to a monster getting into the Ruins. Besides, s’best I don’t hang around Chara all that much.” He grins sharply. “Wouldn’t end so well for them.”

“Tori?” you repeat. “You know each other?”

He shrugs. “Kinda. We used to talk through the door sometimes, back before the resets. Mostly knock knock jokes and stuff like that. One time the kid convinced her to come with them." Guilt flashes across his face. "Didn't go so great.”

“You don’t want to come see her?”

He hesitates. “I, uh, don’t think it’d be a good idea.”

“Why not? Sure, she might be a bit worried you’ll take Chara’s - Frisk's? - soul, but she’s letting _me_ stick around.” You smirk. “I bet she’d appreciate the back up.”

After a moment he shakes his head decisively. “Gotta get the extractor ready for Chara, remember? ‘sides, Papyrus must be wondering where I am.” He grins. “He gets real rattled if I disappear for too long.”

“Right.” You chew the inside of your cheek. “I don’t really know how long we’ll be sticking around here. Frisk seemed pretty eager to-”

“Frisk?” he interrupts, brows furrowed.

“Oh! Yeah, Chara’s letting Frisk take the wheel sometimes.” You smile. “Nice kid.”

Sans gives a short laugh. “Sheesh, you’re really switching things up around here, huh? Never thought I’d see Frisk in control again. Figured they’d been erased, or something. It’s, uh.” He looks down contemplatively. “’m glad they’re still kicking. Even if…yeah.”

“You can’t forgive them for it?” you ask curiously. “Even though everyone they hurt is okay, now?”

His eyes flick up to meet yours, eye sockets narrowed. “We’ll see about stopping the resets first. Maybe then I’ll consider it.”

You tilt your head. “I guess I’ve just never loved someone so much I’d be bothered by their death. Nothing’s been permanent for so long…I probably wouldn’t know how to react.” You grin slightly. “It’d be interesting to see how I felt.”

He snorts. “You say some creepy shit, y’know that?”

Examining him, you observe, “You seem to be taking it well.”

“Guess I’m getting used to you.” He winks, before starting to turn away. “Welp, I’d best get back since you aren’t leaving any time soon. I’ll check back later.”

“See you.” You go to wave when the air shatters. Colour leeches from your surroundings as a familiar blackness tugs it apart at the seams.

Sans takes a step back towards you, a blue light igniting in his eye socket. “What’s going on? This isn’t a reset.”

You grin awkwardly. “Um. So, I _might_ have forgotten to tell you something.”

His eyes dart to you, smile strained. “How ‘bout you get to doing that, then?”

The darkness lances towards the two of you. You sigh faintly. “Looks like showing will be more effective.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *glares at chapter* Why do you not do what I want you to do? Avery wasn't supposed to open the door, Sans was supposed to be angry instead of mostly resigned, and that flashback loop was meant to happen later! Argh. 
> 
> Well. Hope you guys like it anyway. I'm at the point in the fic where I haven't got much of a plan for the next few chapters, so I have no idea where we're going until we get near the end of part 2 (i.e. extractor time). If you've got any prompts/idea thingies let me know, and I'll see if I can incorporate them into the fic :)
> 
> Oh, by the way, if you comment I'll most likely reply to it, especially if you've asked a question. As always, thank you so much for the kudos and comments! They're incredibly motivating!


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're not a fan of this flashback.

The switch in surrounding isn’t as strange after having already done it once (never mind all of Sans’ shortcuts), but you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut when you see where you are.

It’s your room. Dark blue walls you painted yourself, two packed bookshelves, a desk shoved in the corner; you’re pretty familiar with the place. That’s not what gets to you.

Your other self is curled up on your bed, sobbing heavily into a pillow with their blankets bundled around them. Despite the closed curtains, it’s light enough that you can make out their shaking body, hands gripping the pillow like a life line.

They’re young, then. Very young. This is probably before you’d even killed your parents that first time, right when the situation started to hit you hardest. The idea that you’d never have a future past five or six months, that every relationship you formed would be wiped from the other person’s memory, whilst the ones you already had grew predictable and repetitive.

This was when you realised just how alone you are.

“Where are we?” Sans asks, twisting his head to look around the room. It’s nothing special. There’s a couple of anime posters on the wall that you got from a friend – Fullmetal Alchemist and Tokyo Ghoul; it’s been a while since you watched either of those - and some glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling, but that’s it as far as decoration goes. You’re not big on personalisation.

“In one of my loops,” you say lightly. You try to ignore the other you. Pretend they don't exist. “Verrrry early on. This happened before, when I was with Chara, Frisk and Flowey. The other me can’t hear us as far as I can tell, and we can't interact with this place much, so we’re not _really_ here. It’ll end on its own. Hopefully soon,” you add in a mutter.  

He steps closer to the other you. “So, that’s…you?”

“Uh-huh.” You scratch your head and move towards the door, leaning against the wall. “Barely a few years old, I’d guess.” The other you lets out a particularly loud sob and you wince. “I, ah, wasn’t in the best place. Just, you know, realising the extent of my situation.”

Sans goes to place a hand on the other you’s shoulder, only for it to pass right through. He pulls his hand back and murmurs, “S’like we’re not even here.”

“Yep. Like I said. Have you got any ideas about why it’s happening?” you say, hoping to distract him from the other you. 

(Don't think about it. Don't remember. This was a long time ago. You're not here, not really. It's over-

But it's not, is it? This is one ride you just can't get off)

He shakes his head. “This ain’t like anything I’ve dealt with.” Taking a step back he stuffs his hands in his pockets, frowning. “These loops of yours, they don’t match up with the resets, right?”

You nod and he continues, “Time is already messed up without the loops. Stopping and starting, always getting pulled back to a certain point in time. Then, Chara goes and makes another world. I’ve got no idea how they did it. Anything could’ve gone wrong.”

“I think…I think Gaster said something about that. They placed stress on the timelines, made them unstable. It’s why my loops started in the first place.” You shift uncomfortably. “Do you think the latest reset made everything worse?”

He puts a hand to his skull with a sigh. “Could be. I thought the resets were as bad as it gets, but if things keep deteriorating like this…” He gives a forced grin. “Guess we’ll just have to make sure they don’t reset again.”

“I-”

“Robin?”

You freeze, smile dropping from your face. Mom.

The other you jolts upright, revealing their splotchy pink face and bloodshot eyes. They hurriedly wipe them with their sleeve, scrambling to sit up in bed. “Y-yeah, Mom?” they say, voice hoarse.

The doorknob twists. You back away from the door, bumping into Sans. Your eyes can’t leave your Mom’s face as she enters.

She’s frowning, the expression you’re most familiar with. Her hand reaches out to flick on the light. “Why are you sitting in the dark like this? You’re not still sleeping, are you?” she says disapprovingly. Then she catches sight of your face and her eyebrows lower in discomfort. “Oh. What’s wrong?”

The other you pastes on a bright smile. “I’ve got hay fever, that’s all. It’s making my eyes water.” They sniff convincingly. “Headache, too. Standard fare.”

Mom relaxes. “Alright. Well, you can’t stay in here all day.”

“Uh, I’m not really feeling up to doing anything,” they say weakly. “I was thinking I could just…try to sleep it off?”

Mom’s lips twist into a scowl and she crosses her arms. “Don’t you remember? A couple of my friends from college are gonna be staying over for a week. I need you to help me clean up the guest room, and the living room really needs hovering, and I need you to go get some groceries too, okay?” She sighs. “I can’t believe you forgot.”

“But, I-”

A hurt expression passes over her face. “You’re not going to make me do it all by myself, are you? This is really important to me. I’ve spent so much time at the hospital with you that I didn’t get a chance to clean up, and I haven’t seen my friends in a long time.”

She chuckles lightly. “I’d be off travelling around the world _with_ them if I hadn’t gotten pregnant with you, you know? It’ll be nice to catch up, share some stories. Not that I blame you, or anything like that, of course. I love you,” she says offhandedly.

When the other you doesn’t say anything, her eyes narrow. “Didn’t you hear me?”

“I love you too, Mom,” they murmur. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

Mom smiles widely, looking pleasantly surprised. “Great! Oh, and put some proper clothes on, will you? Brush your hair too. You look like a mess.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t take too long, I need to get this done quickly.” She twists on her heel and leaves the room, switching off the light as she does so.

You can feel Sans’ gaze on you. You try to ignore the shame heating your face as you avoid looking at him.

The other you doesn’t move from their bed, breaths short and stuttering. You know they’re looking at the mirror on your desk. They’re wondering how hard they’d have to hit it to break it. How much it would hurt to slice their wrists, how long it’d take for them to bleed out. Shooting yourself hadn’t ended the loops, but maybe dying would make you feel better. Those few seconds of just feeling…nothing. That had to be better.

The world breaks away, and you’re back to standing in the doorway to the Ruins, staring out at the forest. Your breathing is a bit ragged but you manage to pull on a grin for Sans.

“W-well, that, uh, that was.” You laugh nervously. “Sorry you had to see that. It, um, wasn’t my best moment. I-I usually do fun things. Not sit in my room and cry all day, haha. I don’t, I-I-”

“You don’t have to explain anything,” Sans says quietly. You glance at his sympathetic expression and turn away, arms crossing defensively.

“I know that. I just.” You’re used to making up excuses.

You close your eyes. This shouldn’t affect you anymore. It hasn’t, really, for a long time. But seeing the younger version of yourself, how they reacted to Mom…it brings back that sense of never being good enough. Of disappointing everyone whenever they gave you a chance.

You’re good at not caring. What people think of you doesn’t really matter, especially when they’re just going to forget all about you at the end of a loop.

But your parents were your weak spot.

“They never really noticed, y’know?” you say thoughtfully. “They knew something was up, but they didn’t ask. It wasn’t until I started babbling about time rewinding that they paid attention. They put me into a psychiatric unit after I got evaluated. Visited and called me and-and everything. It was…kind of nice, having them care so much.”

Your nails bite into your palms until they tear the skin. “Killing them felt better. They _really_ paid attention when I did that.”

Gently, hands close around your own and pull them away, loosening the tight fists.

You jolt and stare down at Sans. He’s examining the blood slowly pooling in one of your palms. “Shouldn’t hurt yourself like that," he says softly. "Humans are pretty fragile, aren’t they?”

Your shoulders slump and you let out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, I guess so. I’m usually better at rolling with the punches.”

He smiles at you. “Try to be a bit more careful, huh? Can’t have my partner in crime getting hurt.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a roll of bandages. At your questioning look he explains, “Noticed you seem to get injured a bunch, so I, uh, thought I’d best be prepared.”

You grin. “It’s definitely a step up from threatening me all the time.”

He carefully wraps the bandage around your hand, tearing it off at the end. It doesn’t seem like he really knows what he’s doing, but he’s doing a good enough job that you don’t mention it. “What can I say? You didn’t catch me at my best.”

“I guess we’re pretty even on that front, then.”

Letting go, he takes a step back and considers you. “Robin, huh?”

“It was a nickname. When I was a kid I got obsessed with robins for some reason – the bird, Batman and Robin, Robin Hood; anything to do with robins. My parents started calling me Robin, as a joke I guess.” You shrug. “The name stuck.” You’re a bit surprised you remember that; you guess seeing your younger self helped bring back some memories.

It doesn’t change the fact that you still can’t remember your actual name, though.That’s fine. You like Avery. The people who know you by that name actually remember you.

“This is the second one of those,” Sans struggles to find a name for it. “Flashbacks to your loops, right?”

“Yeah.”

He sighs. “Welp. Probably best not to assume that’s the last of ‘em. If we could predict ‘em I’d try to test how they worked, if they actually effect our surroundings, what they’re centralised on – you, I’m guessin’, since Chara isn’t here and the subject of the flashbacks is you.”

“That’s-” You let out a shaky breath. You feel like your body is still buzzing from the flashback, like there’s a band around your chest that keeps threatening to get tighter, but never quite does. “That’s great.”

“I can imagine. Look, I’ll get the DT Extractor up and running as soon as I can, but it’s gonna take some time. ‘m basically making it up as I go.” He gives a short, sardonic laugh. “Don’t think Gaster ever thought he’d get to use it on a live human. Bet he’s jealous.”

Your eyes widen. “Oh!” Sans starts at your exclamation. “Oh, damn, I can’t believe I forgot!”

He looks at you warily. “What didja forget? Hopefully nothing so important this time.”

“Depends on your perspective, I guess. I talked to Gaster when Chara reset everything.”

The white lights in his eye sockets dim. “Oh yeah? He say anythin’ interesting?”

“He gave me a message for you, actually.”

Surprise flickers across his face. “…really?”

“Yep. He says ‘Hello’, and that he’s doing okay, considering-” you wave your hands, “-everything. He knows you can do this; that you can stop the resets, and he’s proud of you for trying, even though it has to be hard.” You look away from him as his expression twists. “He says you shouldn’t give up.”

There’s a long moment of silence. “That, uh, doesn’t sound much like him,” Sans says, voice rough.

You shrug. “I’m just repeating what he said to me.” Kind of. Gaster _did_ agree to your message, when he could’ve just told you not to bother. You hope it makes Sans feel a bit better, at least.

“Thanks.”

You glance back at Sans. His grin is smaller but seems a lot more real, eyes bright. You beam at him. “No problem.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is the angst quota satisfied? Jeez, and to think this started off so light-hearted...from some perspectives, anyway. And since the next one should be a Sans POV, it's not gonna be much lighter. Where is all this coming from sheesh. 
> 
> This loop was a lot less dramatic than the other one (in some ways), but I hope it gives a bit of insight into Avery's character. And Sans and Avery are actually kinda becoming friends now, which is interesting to write. 
> 
> Now I just need to figure out what's going to happen next *head desks*. 
> 
> I say this a lot, but I really do enjoy reading your comments! It's awesome to hear what you guys think of the story! :D


	27. Sans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You alternate between homicidal rage and crippling guilt.
> 
> All in all, not a great day.

You really want to kill Chara.

They’ve never been afraid of you, doesn’t matter how many times you kill them. Surprised, frustrated, wary – but not afraid. So yeah, you’d expected them to keep taunting you despite the fact that you could easily send them right back to the Ruins.

You didn’t expect it to get to you so much. You’re used to the people you love dying, but it’s still one hell of a sore spot, and they won’t _leave it alone._ They’re testing your limits, and you can feel your magic reacting to your emotions, so _very_ ready to tear Chara apart the second you lose control.

And they’ve got new material too, this time.

“Aww, was killing the poor human too much for you? Did it eat at your resolve, breaking them like that, time after time? Or did you enjoy it? Did that _scare_ you, how much fun you had?”

They seem to love bringing up how you killed the human. Guess they got tired of the same taunts. The guilt you already feel just gets worse every time Chara talks about their deaths at your hands. You wish you didn’t care at all. If the human hated you for it, maybe you wouldn’t feel so bad. If they refused to forgive you and spat insults your way.

But they don’t. They joke about re-matches and stop Chara from goading you. Then you find out they had a weapon on them this whole time – the same knife that Chara used to murder your brother. And they never used it in all their fights with you.

They never even reached for it, no matter how much you hurt them. You’re almost sure they could’ve killed you if they tried. They were getting better at dodging your attacks towards the end; it wouldn’t have been all that difficult for them to get close and slash the blade across your ribs.

But they didn’t. They never tried to harm you.

You turn to Chara, hoping the human doesn’t notice the emotions you can’t quite control. “What’re you, a misbehaving kid?” Feels good to be the one doing the taunting, for once.

Chara reacts just like you want them to, barely restrained rage flashing across their face. They don’t let go of the human’s hand, you notice. It makes you uneasy.

Seeing the way Chara interacts with the human is…strange. They’re more childish around them than you’ve ever seen, losing some of that mocking edge to their words. You wait for disgust and fear to rise in the human’s expression when they learn about what Chara is (some of it, at least), but nothing happens. They seems surprised, curious, but that’s it.

_“I can’t say I’ve ever destroyed a world before. That would be viewed as worse, right?”_

You sigh faintly. It’s way too easy for you to forget that the human is, well, an amoral murderer. They…don’t exactly act like one. You kind of wish they did. Be a lot less conflicting.

On the other hand, if they _did_ act like one then you wouldn’t have the chance to remove Chara’s ability to reset. So, looks like you’ll just have to deal with it.

When Papyrus arrives you tense up, fear sparking through you. You’ve seen Chara kill him so many times – you don’t know if you can take it anymore. Not when you’ve finally got a bit of hope. Not when- _you can hear Frisk giggling and your brother’s loud voice. They’re on their ‘date’ and he’s letting them down as gently as he can. It makes you chuckle. You’re glad Papyrus is making friends, even if it is with a human kid. They don’t seem too bad, far as you can tell. They haven’t hurt any monsters like some of the previous kids who fell down here, and they were happy to do all of Papyrus’ puzzles._

_Maybe…maybe they’re the key to breaking the barrier? Papyrus will get to see the sun. And you…you can see the sky. The real stars, constellations and planets you’ve only ever read about. That’d be good._

_Heh. Bit pre-emptive of you, there. Let’s see if they get past Undyne first._

A soft nudge to your shoulder makes you jolt out of the memory. The human sends you a bright grin, as if they’re trying to reassure you. You shouldn’t, but…you feel yourself relax. Just a bit.

You watch carefully as they interact with Papyrus. You expect it to go the same way as it always does; Papyrus tries to get Chara to do his puzzles, they refuse, and eventually he gives up. Seeing him so upset over it always makes you feel terrible, especially with memories of how happy he was when Frisk did his puzzles. But the less Chara interacts with him, the safer he’ll be. You just need to get the two humans through Snowdin. You’ll think about what happens next later.

The human – Avery, that’s their name. Why'd you never ask for it? - isn’t supposed to volunteer for Papyrus’ puzzles. You think that it’s got to be some sort of trick. Maybe they get a kick out of messing with your brother, or something like that.

Turns out they just like puzzles. You’re starting to feel overly paranoid.

Then they give Chara back their knife, and you think you’re right to call them insane. Especially when they try to convince Chara not to murder. If being killed hundreds of times by you wouldn’t stop them, how would a pep talk do any good? Determination is their main trait for a reason; they’re not just gonna change their ways because Avery believes they can do better (and _that_ has got to be the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard).

Hearing more about those loops of theirs is interesting. They sound a lot like the resets, just without the ability to control them. More like your situation than Chara’s. But, learning how long they’ve been going on – “Besides, it can be kind of hard to relate to people when you’re over a hundred years older than they are. Or, something like that, anyway.” –, well, you realise that despite how terrible the resets are, they could be a hell of a lot worse.  

Will be, if Chara plans to keep on going as they are. You wonder if they’ll eventually end up like Avery, giving up on killing out of sheer boredom. How many more resets would you have to experience to get to that point? You’re not sure you could make it that far without going completely insane.

You watch them go running ahead to play on the ice, only to fall on their face. They raise an arm and give a thumbs up, yelling in a muffled voice, “M’okay!”

Avery could be so much worse, couldn’t they?

You’re not sure whether to be grateful about that, or scared.

 

You follow Flowey. It doesn’t take much guesswork to figure out where he’s heading.

You find him staring up at the DT Extractor, a frown on his face. He doesn’t notice you right away. You watch him, waiting to see what he’ll do. The moment he disappeared you knew he wasn’t just going to hang back out of Papyrus’ sight. You’re confident he wouldn’t _ever_ show his face around your brother again after you knocked that idea right out of his head a few resets ago, but you don’t trust that he’s not up to something. Why else would he stick around the human?

With a slight laugh he turns around, jolting when he catches sight of you. “Golly! You really scared me there!”

You take a step forward. “Yeah? Sorry ‘bout that, _bud_ dy.”

He eyes you nervously. “Uh, no problem. I’ll just-”

Before he can sink into the ground you form a blaster above you, sending your magic flowing through it. The blue glow lights up the darkness of this part of the lab. “Hey now, don’t go running away so soon.” You cock you head, grin widening. “Not before you _petal_ me what you’re doin’ here.”

Flowey scoffs. “You don’t scare me, smiley trashbag.”

You chuckle. “Really? Must be losin’ my touch. But hey, none of us are what we used to be. Right, Asriel?”

The flinch confirms your guess. It wasn’t much of one, really. You know he has a connection with Chara, and from Alphys’ notes you figured out he’s one of her experiments with Determination, using the same flowers that Prince Asriel collapsed into dust on centuries ago. You hadn’t been anywhere near sure of the scrapped-together theory, but you got your confirmation right here.

God. Everything just keeps getting more messed up, doesn’t it?

You sigh. “Look, I don’t care who you are, so long as you don’t get in the way.”

His mocking smile makes a return. Thought you’d seen the last of that. “Now, why should I do that?”

“Because if you do I’ll kill you.”

He rolls his eyes. “Oooh, scary! Like I haven’t been killed before!”

You flex your hand. “Haven’t we all. But, the thing is; I’ll make it hurt.” You catch sight of the fear flickering through his eyes and stretch your grin wider. “Yeah. Didn’t think you’d like that.”

He grimaces. “You shouldn’t be so arrogant. Your plan won’t work out so well if I tell Avery what’s really going on.” He giggles. “Gosh, I wonder how they’d react!” He leans forwards with a smirk. “Not well, I imagine.”

You try not to think about it. It’s not like you’re trying to trick them. They’re the one who brought up using the DT Extractor, not you. So, really, Gaster is the one messing with them (like that’s anything new). If they don’t know the risks, the possibilities…it isn’t your fault. You’re just trying to stop Chara. You’re doing the right thing.

Whilst you’re distracted Flowey disappears underground. You let the blaster fade away, the magic dissipating without anyone to control it. The abrupt darkness closes in on you.

 

Clearing out all the monsters from the forest is a pain. They go easily enough, sure, but making sweeps through the place to get every last monster takes it out of you. Still, you’re not gonna risk letting anyone near Chara. They might be playing nice for now, but you can’t take it at face value. They’ve acted like a good kid before only to turn around and attack when you let your guard down. You know better now.

You barely get to Papyrus before Avery and Chara arrive. There’s just enough time for you to steady your breathing, avoiding the odd looks Papyrus sends your way. Ignoring _that_ guilt is practically a habit by now.

You hastily hide your surprise when Papyrus throws the orb to Avery. He’s never…he’s never done that before. He always walks through the maze, inadvertently showing Frisk just where to step. But this time the human actually has to solve the puzzle.

Why would that change? It’s not something Avery’s presence could’ve caused, is it? Papyrus seemed ready to walk over to them until, at the last moment, he changed his mind and threw it instead. And then he makes that comment about knives to Chara.

It’s like…he’s remembering something.

You’re brought out of your thoughts when Avery approaches you, handing over the orb. They look kind of tired. Why’re they doing this? Can it really be just because it’s fun? They’d trudge through a forest and get electrocuted without complaint, just for your brother’s puzzles?  

Gratefulness surges through you. You hadn’t realised how much you missed seeing Papyrus do his puzzles with Frisk, the both of them having the time of their lives. Even when the resets started the kid always seemed to take time to do them.

At least, until…the first time they killed him. They could never look at Papyrus without a guilty expression after that. Then it was Chara in control and they, well, they never minded barging through the puzzles. You hated seeing the disappointment on Papyus’ face during those resets.

It was never worse than seeing him die, though.

 

You thought you had a good handle on ignoring Chara. But they keep bringing up Papyrus. Hearing his name from their mouth – if there’s one way to make you lose your cool, that’s it.

You barely realise you have them lifted by their soul until their pained expression filters through your rage. Good. You want them to hurt. And if they’re so damn curious about why you’ve decided to care - well, you’re happy to tell them.

“You really wanna know? Maybe I could ignore it when it was just nightmares and flashes of another timeline. Didn’t feel real, y’know?”

 _You jolt awake, clutching at your chest. There’s no wound. You’re so_ sure _there should be a wound there, sliced through bones like they’re made of paper. You look down at your shaking body and expect to see dust. Slowly falling apart as your magic fails to keep you together, soul shattering until there was nothing of you left._

_But you’re okay. You’re whole. There’s nothing wrong with you; nothing except the images flashing through your mind. Papyrus, Undyne, Toriel – all of them, dead at the hands of a kid. A human who wouldn’t stop smiling._

_With a twist of magic you’re downstairs, eyes frantically searching for your brother._

_He has to be here. He’s not- he_ can’t _be dead. Please._

_You hear a loud humming. You dart into the kitchen and almost collapse against the wall in relief. He’s there, wearing the “Cool cook!” apron Undyne got him, and enthusiastically making spaghetti._

_He’s okay. It was just a nightmare, just your imagination messing with you._

_It has to be._

“And then, all of a sudden, it was. I was every Sans who got left in the dark, who saw everyone run for their lives only to be slaughtered, who died time and time again trying to stop you.”

_They keep coming back._

_You’ve lost count of the number of times you’ve killed them. At first, it was satisfying to see them die. You hadn’t figured yourself as the vengeful type, but it felt good, killing them over and over. Seeing their pain and frustration; it’d never be enough to make up for killing Papyrus (how many times? Which reset is this?), but it makes you feel something other than emptiness._  

_Each time it gets a little less gratifying. They won’t give up and you know you can’t keep going forever. One day (does it even count as days if no time passes?) you’ll slip up and they’ll slide that knife they’re toting around through your chest (you’ve dreamt of it enough times). You know it, and they do too._

_But you can’t stop. Stopping means letting them win. You’re a lazy guy by nature, but this is one thing you can summon the energy for._

_“You know what, Sans? I think I’ll let you in on a little secret.”_

_You hate it when they start talking._

_You send a wave of bones their way, following it up with a blaster behind them. They gleefully skip out of the way. Guess it’s a move you used before, then. That, or you’re just predictable._

_“I loaded my previous save recently.”_

_You glare at them and fire up a blaster. “Pointing out the obvious? You really gotta get better material, kid. ‘m practically falling asleep.”_

_They burst into laughter as they duck and twist. “That’s a good one, Sans! But I think you’re missing the point here!” They lunge at you and you dodge their knife, the bones you send spiking from the ground making them jump back._

_They tilt their head. “I’ve killed you before. A lot of times.”_

_Your eyes narrow. “s’that it?” You snort. “Tell me something I don’t know.”_

_Their grin widens. “Okay! How about-” they lean forwards, hands behind their back “-I’ve already killed you in this reset.”_

_You freeze. “…what?”_

_“Yep! You already died a few loads ago! Did you not notice?” They giggle. “That’s hilarious! You didn’t even notice your own death!”_

_They killed you. It’s not a new concept. But killing you only to come back without even resetting...nothing hammers in more the fact that you don’t matter - that you’re just a game to them - quite like it._

Your grin twitches wider. “Kinda has an effect on a guy.”

Forgetting about Avery probably isn’t such a great idea. As it is, the abrupt sound of them clapping makes you jolt, attention torn away from a struggling Chara in favour of an unimpressed Avery.

They want you to trust them. How could you? You don’t know a thing about them aside from what they’ve told you, and what’s keeping them from lying? Even then, they haven’t revealed much no matter how often they chatted away at you. They’re practically a stranger, and an adult human at that.

You look into their eyes, trying to get a read on them. They just stare back, uncharacteristically serious despite the wide smile on their face. They said they’ll help you get Chara to the DT Extractor, but what’s stopping them from backing out, leaving you to the endless repetition of the resets? Even if you manage it, they could so easily destroy the Underground if they decided to. You don’t know if you’d be able to stop them.

“I’ve got them. Trust me a little, okay?”

What other option do you have?

 

So, they have a death wish. Guess you should’ve picked up on that a while ago.

Still, it’s odd to hear them say it. They just act so happy all the time; you don’t really expect someone like that to want to die. You snort. Bit hypocritical there, huh? Just because someone acts like they’re fine doesn’t make it in any way true. You’ve got plenty of experience with that.

The lack of fear is a bit scary. You appreciate the irony. Even Chara doesn’t like pain, but Avery sure wasn’t bothered by it all that much, were they? How do you stop someone like that?

“I’d hate to be completely alone. Cut off from everything, nothing but the silence to keep me company. That’d suck. Screaming only helps so much, y’know?”

_There’s no one left._

_You tear through short cut after short cut, trying to find someone,_ anyone. _You even check the lab where you helped evacuate everyone to - did you evacuate them? Was that a different reset? You don’t know – but there’s no one there._

_“Alphys?” you yell down the corridor, appearing further along, checking every room. They’re all empty. “Grillby?!”_

_Did the kid get to them before they managed to run away?_

_“Anyone!”_

_No, no, that can’t be right. That’s never happened before. Alphys, Undyne, Grillby; they always get as many monsters as they can and hide them away as soon as the kid approaches Snowdin. They save them (does it even matter when soon the world will be reset?)._

_You stumble to the ground, trembling with exhaustion. You’re in Snowdin, just in front of your house. Pushing yourself to your feet, you tumble inside._

_“Papyrus?” you call weakly. There’s no reply._

_You drag yourself up the stairs and stumble into Papyus’s room. You half expect him to come running, scolding you for some mess you’ve made. “If only you cleaned up a bit, your room could be just as great as the Great Papyrus’s! Well, nearly as great. But still, a very good second best!”_

_But he doesn’t._

_He’s gone, isn’t he?_

_You find yourself sitting down on his bed without realising you moved. You pull your knees to your chest and press your face into them. You can’t be alone. They wouldn’t kill everyone and leave you alive, would they? That’s- no, they couldn’t do that._

_Soon they’ll reset. A relieved smile spreads across your face at the thought. Yeah, soon they’ll reset and everyone will be alive again._

_You just…you just have to wait a little while._

 

It’s a bit of a gamble, leaving Chara to their own devices. You figure they won’t do anything with the threat of being stuck in the Ruins hanging over their heads. You still don’t like it much, but you need to talk to Avery and you can’t exactly do that with Chara hanging around. You plan to keep it relatively short so that Chara isn’t alone all that long.

Instead you get accused of having a kink, watch Avery flirt with Grillby, drink your ketchup to the most unruffled reaction you’ve ever seen, and feel guilty a lot.

At least you have something of a plan now. Getting Alphys to help you adjust the Extractor should be manageable; explaining everything will be the hard part. Maybe you should just introduce Avery to her and let them do that. They seem to be good at talking people into things.

You almost feel like you’re expecting it when Chara calls you on Papyrus’s phone. Even as you desperately try to find him, part of you knows what’s coming. You…you’re resigned to his death. It’s something that’s happened in so many resets you’re almost…used to it.

You feel disgusted at yourself. He’s Papyrus; your _brother._ His death can never be something you just sit back and accept. Not anymore.

But you’re too late (as always).

The sight of his dust drains away every emotion except a dull, familiar grief. You barely hear yourself speak. “Not again. Please, not again.”

You managed to arrive in time to watch him die, once. He’d just stood there, arms open and a nervous grin on his face. Chara even had their knife in hand and he didn’t- he didn’t even _try_ to dodge. They cut through him and stepped over his dissolving body like he was nothing.

In that timeline, he was the only one they killed. Back then you were so confused, wondering why they singled him out when Papyrus never would’ve harmed them.

Now you know better. Chara was having fun, testing out new variations of their sick game. And once they realised you seemed to remember previous timelines…

They had a lot of fun with that.

Some part of you processes Avery and Chara talking. It filters in slowly, the words distorted and thick. You don’t even really care what they’re saying. It can’t be that important.

“Come ooon, Chara! Get with the programme!”

The yell slowly brings the world back into focus. It takes a while for you to catch up on what’s going on, and when you do Avery is advancing on Chara, a knife in their hand. A different one, you note absently. Not the one they gave back to Chara. Not the one that killed your brother.

“I’m a part of this world for however long you’ll have me, and seeing everyone die over and over again isn’t on my bucket list. I scratched that one off a while ago.”

You reach for Papyrus’s scarf and stand up straight, holding it tight. A lot of the time it’s hard to remember why you keep going. If you didn’t see your brother every day, you don’t think you could keep Chara in the Ruins. Keep fighting them over and over, just to make sure they can’t hurt anyone else.

You might’ve given up on yourself, but not on Papyrus. He deserves as much of a life as he can get, even if it’s the endless repetition of the resets. It’s still something.

You steel yourself to stop Avery. You’re not sure how they’ll react; you’ve never seen them so unstable. The grin on their face is happy and half-crazed. They abruptly flicker from genuine sadness over Papyrus’s death, to a light rambling about the blade they’re throwing around so casually. Each step they take brings them closer to Chara, and you’re startled to see the panic in the kid’s eyes.

Then they narrow into a determined glare. “I thought it’d be Sans I would need to fight. If you try to hurt me, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

“What are you talking about? I would never hurt _you.”_

Humans bleed a lot. You’re more than familiar with that after killing Chara so many times. But you’re not prepared for the way blood gushes from the slash across Avery’s throat, the wound deepening further after they manage to hack at it again, before they finally let go of the knife.

You jolt out of your shock and rush forwards, dropping to your knees at their side. The blood won’t stop coming no matter how hard you press your hands to their neck. Their skin is rapidly losing colour, leaching away in time with the hammering pulse you feel beneath your fingers.

“Fuck, I- why did you _do_ that?!” you ask, searching their face for an answer. Why would they kill themselves? They had a knife, they were so close to Chara, they- why hurt themselves? They talked all about how they murdered and hurt people, why stop now? Why not kill the one kid you could see as even _deserving_ it?

Avery just grins up at you, blood sliding down from the corners of their lips. They choke on it, eyebrows scrunching together, but their smile barely wavers. Their heart beat is slowing, the stream of blood getting lighter with every second that passes.

They’re dying.

You stop. It’s no use, anyway. Their eyes are just starting to lose focus when you lightly rest your fingers on their cheeks. They feel cold.

They’re not gonna last much longer like this. A human can’t survive after losing all that blood. Even their soul won’t keep them going for long, not when their Determination is so low. It’s nothing like your last fight, when they pulled themselves up with a strength you couldn’t’ve guessed they had. Now, they don’t even try to keep breathing.

“Why’d ya do that, huh?” you ask softly, despite knowing they can’t answer. “I would’ve just killed Chara and they’d load their last save. No need to…to do this.”

You think you know. Chara seems attached to Avery; at the very least the human is something new to play with. They’re not gonna let them stay dead for long. And, when they reset or load, Papyrus will be alive again.

You want to blame them for giving Chara their knife back. You want to say it’s their fault that Chara went after Papyrus, that you weren’t there to stop them. But that’s not the truth, is it? You’re the one who thought Chara could be left alone. You’re the one who’s never enough to save anyone, in the end. Can’t even keep a human who could be the key to ending the resets alive.

Darkness starts to sweep towards you and you can’t help a short laugh. Seems Avery played Chara just right, then. Maybe you shouldn’t keep doubting them.

You hope the next reset is better. Hard to see how it could end worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much drama and introspection ahhh. Very fun to write though. I've been having a bit of writer's block lately, especially the next few chapters. You can thank random dub step music for getting me all pumped up and ready to keep writing. 
> 
> I think I said it before, but I'll mention it here too. Updates will be slowing down (already have, really) due to a combo of Uni work, stress with my medication, and the next few chapters being a bitch to write at times. I'll try to keep you updated at my tumblr account - http://nythtak.tumblr.com/ - if you're interested.
> 
> Just wanna say a huge THANK YOU for the comments and kudos! You guys are seriously awesome! It's the highlight of my day to read comments and see what you think, as well as incredibly motivating. Thanks!
> 
> (also I'm so weirdly proud of the accidental buddy pun just high five me yuss)


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a chat with Toriel. There's pie, so it isn't all bad.

Distant footsteps make the both of you jump, and you twist around to look over your shoulder. They’re heavier than Chara’s are – it has to be Toriel. Going by what Sans said earlier, she wouldn’t be happy about you opening the door to the rest of the Underground.

You slam the door shut, catching a glimpse of Sans’s surprised expression. You quickly spin around to face Toriel. She’s just rounding the corner, to your relief. Making the fire-wielding goat monster angry is not on your to-do list.

You stride towards Toriel just as her eyes widen and caution flashes across her face. “Hiya!” you say brightly, folding your arms behind your back. Look at you, not being a threat. What door? No doors for you, nope. You’ve never seen a door in your life, gosh darn it.

“Hello, Avery. What are you doing down here?” she asks, brows furrowed.

“Just having a wander. Stretching my legs a bit.” You lever a leg up to demonstrate, almost tipping over when you lose your balance. You regain it with some wind milling of your arms, but hey, at least you don’t fall. Success.

The corners of her mouth tilts up in amusement. “Are you alright?”

“Yep, couldn’t be better.”

“Well then, if you are quite done with your wandering, perhaps you would like to have something to eat?”

You perk up. “That sounds great, thanks!”

She gestures for you to go ahead of her. You skip along obligingly, turning your head to smile at her. “So, does that door lead to the rest of the Underground?”

No beating around the bush with this one. You need to know if Toriel is going to give you any trouble, and how you can deal with it if that happens. She seems like a nice enough lady – and you’re sure hurting her would piss off Sans – but getting Chara to the extractor unfortunately takes priority here.  

Her expression stiffens. She hesitates before saying grudgingly, “Yes, it does. However, it would not be a good idea for either you or Frisk to leave the Ruins.”

“We’ll have to leave sometime.”

“Please reconsider. If you stay here, I can protect you from those who wish you harm,” she says earnestly. “There are many monsters who would do their best to take your souls in order to destroy the barrier. I do not…” She closes her eyes, pain flashing across her face. “I do not wish to see another child dead.”

You stay quiet for a few moments. “I wouldn’t let them die.” You smile lightly. “You can sense it, right? My LV.”

Toriel nods solemnly. “It is among the highest I have seen.”

“Then you know I can protect them. I’m a bigger danger than most of the monsters out there, aren’t I?”

Her eyes narrow. “I suppose you are.”

You scratch your cheek. “Don’t take that the wrong way. I’m not going to hurt anyone, even if they do attack me.” You chuckle. “I’ll just talk to them, like with the dummy. Hopefully they’ll be a bit more responsive though.”

“Would you not prefer to stay here? I do not have much, but I will do my best to make the both of you feel at home.” She looks at you with pleading eyes.

You smile softly. “That’s really nice of you, Toriel. We’ll stay for as long as Frisk wants, but we’ll have to move on at some point.”

She sighs faintly as the two of you begin climbing the stairs. Weariness flickers across her features. “…I know.”

Her obvious sadness makes you frown slightly. Sure, she fried you to a crisp a couple of resets ago, but she’s not a bad person. She cares about Frisk more than you’d ever expect of a stranger, no matter how cute the kid is, and from what you can tell she’s seen more than one child walk out the door to their deaths. Trying to stop the two of you (technically, three) makes sense from her perspective.

You let out a huff of air. You’re not going to kill her. Injure to incapacitate? Maybe. Hopefully it won’t come to that.

 

You’ve changed your mind. No one’s going to hurt Toriel.

“All hail Toriel, Queen of baking!” you exclaim through a mouthful of pie. It’s the tastiest thing you’ve ever eaten – and you’ve eaten a lot of things. You didn’t even like cinnamon yet the butterscotch-cinnamon pie somehow tastes amazing! It’s like Toriel took everything that is good and beautiful about the world and baked it into one delicious pastry. That takes some mad skills.

You tell her so, and she smiles bashfully. “Thank you. I am glad you like it.”

You finish up the slice and lean back in your chair with a satisfied hum. The dull ache your stomach had been giving faded with every bite; you didn’t really notice pains like that until they were gone, and sometimes not even then.

When you bring your attention to it your arm stings. There isn’t any blood, though, even if you recall it pouring from the cuts when you were in the Void. Maybe it’s something to do with how you got the injury there, rather than in the real world, so it didn’t work like a normal wound?

You focus back on Toriel. She’s seated herself across from you, slowly eating her own piece of pie. It’s interesting how different monsters are. She looks nothing like Sans or Papyrus, and the other monsters you saw in the bar were all completely unique too, apart from some similarities between the dog-like ones. It doesn’t make much sense from an evolutionary perspective, but you guess this is another case where magic is the answer.

“So, what do you want?” you ask bluntly.

She looks at you with startled eyes. “I…I am afraid I do not understand. What do you mean?”

“Well, you helped us through the Ruins, you’re letting Frisk and I stay here, you’ve fed me; what do you want in return? Equivalent exchange and all that.” There’s always a cost. People doing things out of the goodness of their hearts is something you’ve learnt to be wary of.

Offence flickers across her face. “I assure you, I do not expect anything in return. I am happy to host the both of you.”

You frown. “…really? You don’t want anything? I mean, I don’t exactly have much on me, but I could do _something.”_

She gives a gentle smile and pats your hand. You barely manage not to flinch. “It is fine. I am enjoying having some company; that is all the payment I could want.” She drops her gaze. “Although, if you do not mind, perhaps you could explain how the two of you came to be in the Underground?”

You push away your uncertainty and focus on her question. “Uh, we both fell down a pit. I came a few hours after Frisk, so we decided to team up in order to get out of here.”

“So you do not know each other?”

You smile sheepishly. “Not really. But, I, uh…” Her patient expression encourages you to keep talking. “I care about them a lot. They really grew on me, I guess.”

“And Flowey? I said before that I have not seen him in the Ruins and it…worries me that there may be another entrance. It could have only recently opened up, but if more monsters hear about it, if they can get through-”

“Then Frisk isn’t safe, are they?”

Her eyes close wearily. “I am afraid that may be true. I noticed your Level of Violence almost immediately.” She frowns at you. “It is at a level only a killer could achieve. Under normal circumstances I would never allow someone like you into my home, around a _child,_ but…” She sighs. “I am unsure of my ability to protect them alone.”

You tilt your head. “So, I’m the lesser of two evils?”

“Indeed.”

“Well, I’ve been called worse.”

 

You’re jolted into consciousness the second Chara begins to wake up. They blink sleepily up at the ceiling, yawning deeply as they sit up. You feel their tiredness pulling at you, but you’re not quite as effected since you’re not in control of your body. This means you’re the first to notice that Avery is gone.

Chara starts, eyes widening as they look around for the other human. You’re sitting on the bed instead of the floor, sheets covering you; Avery must’ve moved you and tucked you in at some point. The thought makes you smile. 

They’d scared you a lot at first. Their anger towards you – towards Chara, really, but it’s kind of the same thing now, isn’t it? – was all too familiar. It didn’t matter how long it’s been. They’re an adult, and they’re angry at you, and you promise to stay quiet and out of sight and you’re sorry, please, you’re so sorry-

You force yourself to calm down. They’re not like that. They were just angry about the resets, and you can’t blame them for that. And they- they haven’t done anything to you. They don’t yell at you for making mistakes. They talked to you in sign language even though they knew you could speak. They even _hugged_ you. You were so sure they were going to shove you away, but they didn’t. They wanted you around.

You haven’t felt wanted in a long time.

“I have to say, this doesn’t seem like your kinda game.”

Both you and Chara jolt. Flowey is peering up at you with an amused smile, looking relaxed despite Avery being gone. It doesn’t make sense. Chara’s killed him so many times, and lately he seems so nervous around them. Why is he here?

Chara’s eyes narrow. “What’re you talking about?”

Flowey giggles. “What do you think? Playing the human like this, pretending you care about them…” He leans forwards. “What’s the point? You had your chance to kill them and you _didn’t_. They’d have let you do it! Isn’t that what you want, huh, Chara? To kill all humans?”

You feel the uncertainty spike through Chara. “I-” 

“Don’t tell me you _care_ about them?” he says incredulously, before starting to laugh. “Oh, wow! That’s hilarious! Demon child Chara, starting to care about a _human._ Golly, I really didn’t see this coming.” He grins viciously. “I knew they were going to be entertaining, but I wasn’t expecting _this.”_

Chara takes a threatening step towards him. Anger washes through them, the intensity of it catching you off guard. You cringe back from their emotions, but there’s nowhere to go in your shared mind. All you can do is try to separate your feelings from theirs as it batters against you.

“Shut _up,_ Asriel.” They consider killing him, just like they have so many times before, but they hesitate. They promised not to harm anyone. If…if they killed Flowey, would Avery..?

Flowey blinks slowly at them. “Huh. They really do have you on a leash, don’t they?”

Chara’s fists clench. You try to reach out to them, force your own calm on them, but they brush you off easily. Then, a grin starts to spread across their face. “You think that’s going to work?” they ask curiously. “You think you can _play_ me like that?”

Flowey shivers, unease crawling across his features. “Wh-what’re you talking about, Chara? I’m not the one playing with you. _Avery_ is. They have you wrapped around-”

Chara throws their head back and laughs. Their sharp amusement thrums through you, and you try not to get caught up in it. It’s better than their anger, at least. You still feel like _you_ this way.

“My, you’ve gotten arrogant, haven’t you?” they say, tilting their head. “Do you really think you can manipulate _me?_ That’s a joke. You’re _nothing,_ Asriel. You’re just a helpless, pointless, _soulless_ flower.” Flowey flinches.

“The only reason you’re alive is that Avery doesn’t like killing. And Avery is _interesting,_ unlike you.” They shrug. “If that means I have to make a few concessions in order to keep them around, fine. But don’t for a second think that means I’ve changed.” Their grin widens. “I’d be happy to tear you to pieces, Asriel.”

Before he can reply, they give him a cheery wave and skip out of the room. After a few steps you’re sent stumbling into control. You blink at the floor, trying to get used to the intensified feel of your body. For a few moments you’re hyper aware of everything; the clothes against your skin, the warmth of the house, the soft lighting. You adjust quickly though.

Chara slinks to the back of your mind, prickly and irritable. Are they okay?

_I’m fine. Go find Avery and Toriel._

You hesitate. Are they sure? They don’t…they don’t seem fine. 

They chuckle humourlessly. _Quit worrying about me. It won’t do you any good. You won’t get anything out of it._

You know that. You don’t want anything more from them, not now that they’re not killing anyone. You never thought they’d voluntarily let you be in control. You send your gratitude towards them, smiling faintly.

They scoff, but you can feel their surprise and happiness. _Stop being such a dork._

You giggle. Never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update for those of you who follow my tumblr; I ended up being even more busy than usual these past few days. Kinda drowning in coursework at the moment, and I don't have the next chapter even near finished, so the next update may take a few weeks. Still, I'll be finished up with my uni work in about 3 weeks, so I'll have a lot more free time after.
> 
> Hope you all like this update! It felt a bit awkward to write, largely because Toriel is still difficult for me to characterise correctly. The Frisk POV was kind of random but I've been wanting to write something for them for a while now. They'll probably get a longer POV bit in the future. 
> 
> I'm not sure how long Avery and co will be sticking around in the Ruins. Probably not too long since I want to get them to Snowdin, but what do you guys think? Like I've said, this part of the plot isn't all that thought out, so suggestions are super awesome and useful.


End file.
